Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

The Anchoress

Home
Catholic
Late to a tagging meme…

Late to a tagging meme…

Last updated on: March 17, 2017 at 10:14 pm by Elizabeth Scalia

Late to a tagging meme… 2017-03-17T22:14:25+00:00 Elizabeth Scalia

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

A while back I was tagged with a meme by both Julie at Happy Catholic and Amy Welborn and I didn’t get around to it because it seemed like more energy than I could muster, and a little too self-revealing, too. But I’m feeling pretty peppy today, so I will finally answer it! Sorry I’m late, gals – I wasn’t ignoring you, really!

I CONFESS!

I confess… that my dream in life is to live somewhere near the water. Actually, I would like to live on the water, in a houseboat. I would love a houseboat. But a house within hearing distance of the water would be nice, too. For as long as I can still hear.

I confess… that will all the medical situations going on in my life, the one that is still troubling me the most is the hearing loss. I don’t much care if they have to cut off my breasts…I mean, yeah, that would be an unhappy circumstance, but if it meant I would live, well, I can do without my breasts. They’re getting troublesome these days, anyway, what will my having to kick them outta the way as I walk and sling them over my shoulder to pick up a bag of groceries. Beyond nursing and having some youthful fun, who needs breasts you can trip over when you get older? It seems to me that once you have moved from this part of your life:

Child: Whaaaa, whaaaaaa!

Mother: Aw, my baby is hungry…

to THIS part of your life:

Mother: Whaaa, Whaaaaa!

Child: Ma, why are you crying?

Mother: You just stepped on my nipple!

…then I think it’s time to stop clinging helplessly to the mammaries and just kiss ’em up to God.

I confess… I once wrote a one-act play about an Italian Mama with a large family who demanded meatballs and wine and who kept stepping on her own breasts. Her family would step on her breasts, too, or set things down upon them, and she would cry and cry, and they never knew why! One day her most beautiful daughter returned home with three bambinos and no husband, and the mama cried again…and the daughter said, “Mama, why-a you cry? Is-a because I’m a putana?” and the mother said, “No, I no cry-a becausa you-a putana! I’ma cry because-a I know thatta soma-day you, too, willa finda youself putting downa the chairs upona you breasts, anda havin-a you nipples a-pinched underfoot! One-a day you too willa be able to plowa the gardena simply by-a bendin’ downa!”

Don’t tell me there’s no such thing as Karma!

I confess… I love my sons to distraction. I drive them crazy. I don’t mean to nag, but I know they feel nagged. I don’t mean to act like Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond (except I’m not as good at housecleaning as she) but I find that as I get older, I get more like her!

I confess… My house is clean enough to live in, but don’t eat off my floors until Wednesday, when I wash them.

I confess… I already think of my Elder Son’s girlfriend as my daughter. She’s a great kid. Very strong and very brave, and she loves my son, and he loves her. I hope if they get married, she wears my Mother-in-law’s vintage 1957 big-skirted, short-trained, cowl-collared chantilly lace wedding gown. It’s a drop-dead gorgeous classic!

I confess… that last confession was just me living vicariously through my son’s girlfriend. I wish “I” had worn my Mother-in-Law’s wedding gown, but I was too shy to ask if I could, back then. Mom recently told me she would have loved it. Dammit. But my son’s g/f would look stunning in it!

I confess… I hated my own wedding gown, and only wore it because it was what I could afford.

I confess… I once took a test asking what was the biggest regret of my life…and that stupid wedding gown was it. And I’m not a superficial sort of person. I don’t really care about clothes. I confess I only have three pair of shoes! But I hated that dress. CLARIFICATION EDIT: At the time I took the test, the gown was my big regret. I have since screwed up enough to have other regrets…but I’m not telling you about them because they scald!

I confess… I hate being shy. And I am very, very shy. Had I not been shy, well…I wouldn’t have wasted all of those confessions on a wedding dress. Maybe I’d be confessing to big fat scandalous things!

I confess… I love and value my friends more than I can ever tell them. Both my “in person” friends and my “longtime emailing cyber friends” whom I have never met. But no matter how much I love them and care about them, there is a part of me that can never fully open up. I function better with a slight detachment and the world at arm’s length. I am both warm and gushy, and completely stand-offish.

I confess… that I suspect the reason I keep the arm’s length is because if I did not, I would destroy myself or my friends with the unending hugs I would give them.

I confess… one does not withdraw from the world because one hates it, but because one loves it so very much. It’s a paradox.

I confess… I have done a bad job with my husband. He started out as a guy who couldn’t sit still and was always working on a project. Then I convinced him that all work and no snuggling sucked. Now we snuggle…but the bedroom needs painting.

I confess… I have gained and lost the same 50 lbs over and over again since Buster was born. Over and over.

I confess… I am a terrible co-worker. My desk is usually kind of sloppy because I like all of my projects out in front of my eyes. I have a good telephone voice, but I take screwed up messages, and I can’t abide office gossip, so I’m no fun to sit near. Also I sigh a lot. This once caused a boss of mine (with whom I got along with swimmingly) to take off his shoe and throw it at me. He missed. Then he felt bad, so he bought me lunch.

I confess… that I “got” Catholicism better at age 6 than at age 26, and I “get” it better now at 47. Finally. It is a religion for the very young and the finally grown up. Little kids “get” mysticism and wonder. When you grow up, you seek it out. It is only when you are an adolescent, or a young adult that you are convinced that YOU are the wonder, and then you miss it.

I confess… I have one finished and two unfinished books in my desk that will never get published. I’m a good editor…but not of my own work.

I confess… that I go to confession perhaps 8 times a year, and every single time I go I love it – I have always loved the sacrament – and I promise myself that I’ll go again “next month” but I never make it. I do NOT go to “open” or face-to-face confession which I think is an abomination – all the non-verbal face ticks and the body language gets in the way. Give me the dark booth and the anonymous voice…I’m happy.

I confess… I love to sit quietly before the Blessed Sacrament in Adoration. Just to sit or kneel there in the Presence. Later I pray – for others and in thanksgiving – but the best part of that is simply sitting there in silence, watching the Master…who watches me.

I confess… I talk to my Guardian Angel every day, particularly when I am anxious about the safety of someone I love. Doing so has made me aware of gratitude – how necessary gratitude is in order to have the experience of joy. You cannot really be joyful if you have no sense of the good things in your life, if you have no sense of just how grateful you are. Joy and Thanksgiving go hand in hand.

I confess… I am very, very thankful. For so many things.

Now, I believe the way these memes work, I’m supposed to tag someone else with it. I’m sure they won’t appreciate it, but here goes – I’ll tag Patrick O’ Hannigan and Jimmie Bise, and Sensible Mom and Don Singleton and Joseph and Lisa, and Jeanette and Newton. Christians, and non, mem and women, liberals and conservatives! How’s that for inclusive? :-)

Blogs and Blogging

It's all about me! Me! ME!

Previous Post

December 5, 2005

Buster does Upstate New York

Next Post

December 6, 2005 Happy St. Nicholas Day! UPDATED

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category "Remaking" Ourselves 'Remaking' America 9/10 Mindset 9/11 trials Abortion ACORN Adoration Advent Advent 2008 Advent 2009 Advent 2010 Alternative Energy Alternative Media America American Catholic Church American Church American Genius Ameridolatry ANCHORESS BOOKSHELF Anglican-Roman Reconciliation Answers & Questions Anti_Semitism Archbishop Hilarion Ayn Rand Bad Mass Barack Obama Baseball Benedict Benedict & Islam Benedict in UK Benedict XVI Benedictine Bill Whittle Birth Control Blogs and Blogging Blogs and Blogging Bloodless Coup Bobby Jindal Bookchat Breitbart Bride at every wedding... Bride at every wedding... Buckley Bullies Bush Bad? Bush Good Buster Capitalism Catholic Fiction Catholic Vocations Catholicism Celibacy Chaput Charitable Stuff Chesterton Chile Chris Christie Christians in Exile Christine O' Donnell Christmas Christmas Gift Ideas Church Hates Science? Church hates women Communion of Saints Compline Conclave 2013 Confession Constitutional Stuff Conversion Crisis & Opportunity Critical Thinking Crooks and Liars Crucible of Faith Cuba Culture of Life Culture of Life/Death Culture of Treason? Dancing Death Dialogue re Islam Dick Meyer Divorce and Remarriage DOJ Domestic Terrorism Dominican Order Don't try me too high Dowd Dumb Democrat moves Dumb GOP moves Economic woe Education Egregious Harry Reid Elder Son Elder Son's Sweet Girlfriend Elderly Election '10 Election '12 Election '16 Election 2004 Election 2006 Election 2008 Election 2010 Election 2016 Elena Kagan Elitism Embryonic Stem Cell Research End Times? English language Enhanced Interrogation Erosion of Rights Eucharist Euthanasia Exorcism Extraordinary Synod Facebook Faith Faith and Reason Faith Friday Faith Perspective Faithful Friday Fascism Again Fascism in America Fatima FCC Feminism Film First Things Forgiveness Fr. James Martin Francis and Islam Francis in America Frassati Fred Thompson Free Speech? Freedom of Worship FutureChurch Global Pandemic GOP Congress Haiti Head Covering Health Care Here and Queer Hermits Heroes Hitchens Holy Spirit Holy Week '09 Holy Week '10 Hoo-Hah & BS Hoo-Hah & BS Icons Illegal Immigration In The Arena Interviews Interwebz Iran Uprising Iraqi Christians ISIL ISIS Islamic State Islamification/Islamofascism Islamification/Islamofascism Isra-El It's all about me! Me! ME! James Burke Jerry Lewis Jesus Christ Joblessness John Boehner John McCain John Paul II John XXIII Juan Williams Just Words Katrina/Rita King is a Fink Latin Mass Leadership Lectio Divina Lent Lent '08 Lent '09 Lent 2010 Lent 2011 Limbaugh Listen to Lizzie Litigious Society Liturgy Liturgy of the Hours Mainstream Media Manliness Marriage Mary Media Excess Medical Merton Michelle Obama Mighty John O' Connor Misc. Miss Ella Missionaries Mitt Romney Monasticism My brother S My Irish Aunties Mystic Monks Nanny Statism Nature NEA Neri New Media Newman Noonan Notre Dame NPR Stuff Nun News Obama Bad? Obama Good? Obama White House Oil Spill Online Retreat '08 Online Retreat Days Oratory Orthodoxy Our Hillary! Parenting Passionists Patheos Patheos Book Club Patrons Paul Ryan Penance Penn Jillette Philosophy PJTV Podcasts Poetry Politics-free zone Pop Culture Pope Emeritus Pope Francis Prayer Predictions Priesthood Pro-Life Public Sector Unions Purgatory Questions about Catholicism Quotes of the Day Quoting the News Race in America rants Recipes Remarried Catholics Reposts by request Retreat thoughts Rome Rudy Giuliani Russia Saints Sarah Palin Scandal Scott Brown SCOTUS Scriptural stuff Secularism Send in the clowns Serving up hot links Sexuality Sherrod Shroud of Turin Sisters and Nuns Social Entrepreneurship Social Media Social Security Socialism doesn't work Sports and Faith Stem Cells Strange Gods Suffering Synod Tea Parties Tea Party Terri Schiavo The 9/11 Commission The Catholic Answer The Constitution The Desert The Fourth Estate The Pelosi The Perpetual Adolescents The Rosary Third Party? Timothy Dolan Touch of evil TSA Tsunami TV/Pop Culture/Music TV/Pop Culture/Music Twitter Uncategorized Unemployment Unintended Consequences US Military Vaginal Musings Vatican Vespers video faves Vile Joe Biden Voter Fraud War by Litigation War on Terror War, What it good for? Why can't weeee be ... World Youth Days Year of Faith Year of the Priest

Select a Month August 2016 July 2016 April 2016 March 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 August 2004

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What is the name for Christian monastic orders that focus on community life and prayer?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Waldensians Benedictines Franciscans Pentecostals