Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

The Anchoress

Home
Catholic
Buster’s new motto and all-purpose metaphor

Buster’s new motto and all-purpose metaphor

Last updated on: March 16, 2017 at 5:10 pm by Elizabeth Scalia

Buster’s new motto and all-purpose metaphor 2017-03-16T17:10:10+00:00 Elizabeth Scalia

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Was in the emergency room again with Buster – because what is life if we don’t visit the ER every few months for fractures, suspected fractures, deeply embedded ticks and whatnot – this time because he’d slid into third base and somehow crashed into the other player. Both went down, with many moans and grabbing of knees.

Everyone is fine, just banged up.

But while we waited Buster and I spoke of many things, from school to girls, to his job, to John Paul the Great, to his brother’s serious romance. Back to girls, and to some concerns he has about a few classmates and his generation, in general. In the course of conversation he said, “you know, there is nothing you can learn that a slap across the face won’t teach you faster.”

Turns out, Buster had gotten his face slapped by a girl who completely misunderstood what he was saying. Chatting up an Asian student he’s had a crush on since 5th grade, she – at some point in the conversation – said, “yellow is beautiful!”

And Buster, thinking he could finally tell this girl that he thought she was the most gorgeous creature on the planet, said, “yes, like you!”

Apparently, upon hearing him say it, this tiny, demure little girl I see kneeling at church with the look of an angel on her face, belted him across the kisser.

She thought he was calling her “yellow” because she is Asian.

He just thought he was telling her she was beautiful.

It took several days to get this sorted out. She felt bad for smacking him. He felt bad for not being more clear. They both felt bad because when you have been friends for 5 years and suddenly hormones might be entering into things, no one is comfortable.

But the smack did him good. Buster learned a lesson about making himself clear, and about being sensitive to the possibility of insulting another, no matter how inadvertently. The smack taught her something, too, that sensitivity and over-sensitivity are different and that striking out at another often has the effect of rebounding on one.

But Buster has embraced the lesson as a metaphor for life, and I think he is on to something. When I remember the awe-struck expression on the face of Cardinal Ratzinger, near the conclusion of the funeral Mass of JPII, when the crowds began to make their feelings heard – when the staggering number of people began to cry out, “Sancto! John Paul the Great,” I believe the Cardinal – ALL of the Cardinals – received a metaphorical face-slap at that moment, a slap which told them that for all of their talking, all of the theories, all of the politicking, they’d better not lose faith with these people, that they’d better go into that conclave leaving their agendas behind, armed only with prayer and a sense of duty.

A mother I know, too demanding of her oldest son, didn’t hear from him in a while and succumbed to the terror that so many parents know so well, the “something bad has happened and he’s lying dead somewhere” one. She got herself so worked up, into such a wail of fear and also of repentence and remorse, “what if he is dead and I didn’t get the chance to tell him that it didn’t really MATTER to me if he didn’t make the Dean’s List! What if he didn’t know that I would still love him the same, even if he were digging ditches, somewhere!”

When he finally called, he got the full thrust of her pain and her regret as she worked herself into a hyperventilating howl of apologies and proclamations of love, in between her gasping, “you’re all right? You’re ok?”

His being out of touch for a few days was a slap in the face for mom. Perhaps they had had this conversation a thousand times, that she had expectations for him, that he was feeling too pressured by them, but nothing ever brought it all home for her as the thought that – somewhere, in all of her careful parenting – she had perhaps not been as clear to her son that she loved him madly and unconditionally, as she had meant to be.

And her son, who simply got too engrossed with school and life to realize that his phone battery was dead, got a slap, too – one that made him realize his mother is getting older and his grandparents are, too, and maybe he should be a little more accessible to them. He also got the other message, too, and began to worry less that he was on a career path only to please his mother, and so began to enjoy his studies once again. He learned that he was in school for himself, after all, and that all of his mother’s mother-ness was aimed at helping him, regardless of how annoying she’d been about it. She might have overdone the carping but he understood now, that it was all rooted in love.

She has backed off, and no longer constantly asks him about school and his classes. Consequently, his performance has risen. Three years of intensity came down to one face-slap of fear and regret, a slap which had the effect of bringing perspectives and feelings into crystal clarity, and everything changed.

Or, let us consider the 1990’s in America, a so-called of “peace,” which found American interests, or embassies, or naval vessels under sneak attack every 20 months or so, with accompanying loss of human life. The attacks went unanswered, time and time again, until some factions believed that America had become a weak horse, unwilling to defend itself. Confident in that supposition, yet another attack was launched, the most horrendous one, yet, targeting two cities and designed to kill tens of thousands.

A slap in the face for America. All the talk, all the mettings, all the press, all the spin, all the bombings to “send a message,” all the lip-biting came down to a hard smack that demanded a recognition the nation had previously been loathe to make, that we were at war, that we had been for many years, and that it was time – finally – to engage.

And when American engaged, and daisy cutters did what even the Soviet army could not do in Afghanistan, you could call that a slap in the face, too, a wake up call that things were going to be different.

And when two years and some months after the initial invasion of Iraq, the world watched purple-fingered Iraqi citizens take part in a democratic election, an election of large turnout, demonstrating with heart-stopping accuracy how deeply these folks wanted to be free, that was a smack in the face, too. In the months leading up to the election, the endless talking heads and the elitist press had determined that such elections were an impossibility, they anticipated rivers of blood, a staggering failure of massive proportions.

Instead – SMACK! – They got an “Arab spring” that will not abate, and suddenly even the New York Times, if you look deeply enough into the middle section of the paper, will admit that Iraq is going well, and that the entire middle east region is showing signs of hopeful promise.

“There is nothing you can learn that a slap in the face won’t teach you faster,” says Buster.

He keeps telling me he is going to be President of the United States, someday. In thirty years, if you see that as a campaign slogan, you’ll know…that’s my boy.

Buster

John Paul II

Parenting

Previous Post

April 10, 2005

Mass Euthanasia in Britain?

Next Post

April 13, 2005 An apology and some self-recrimination

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category "Remaking" Ourselves 'Remaking' America 9/10 Mindset 9/11 trials Abortion ACORN Adoration Advent Advent 2008 Advent 2009 Advent 2010 Alternative Energy Alternative Media America American Catholic Church American Church American Genius Ameridolatry ANCHORESS BOOKSHELF Anglican-Roman Reconciliation Answers & Questions Anti_Semitism Archbishop Hilarion Ayn Rand Bad Mass Barack Obama Baseball Benedict Benedict & Islam Benedict in UK Benedict XVI Benedictine Bill Whittle Birth Control Blogs and Blogging Blogs and Blogging Bloodless Coup Bobby Jindal Bookchat Breitbart Bride at every wedding... Bride at every wedding... Buckley Bullies Bush Bad? Bush Good Buster Capitalism Catholic Fiction Catholic Vocations Catholicism Celibacy Chaput Charitable Stuff Chesterton Chile Chris Christie Christians in Exile Christine O' Donnell Christmas Christmas Gift Ideas Church Hates Science? Church hates women Communion of Saints Compline Conclave 2013 Confession Constitutional Stuff Conversion Crisis & Opportunity Critical Thinking Crooks and Liars Crucible of Faith Cuba Culture of Life Culture of Life/Death Culture of Treason? Dancing Death Dialogue re Islam Dick Meyer Divorce and Remarriage DOJ Domestic Terrorism Dominican Order Don't try me too high Dowd Dumb Democrat moves Dumb GOP moves Economic woe Education Egregious Harry Reid Elder Son Elder Son's Sweet Girlfriend Elderly Election '10 Election '12 Election '16 Election 2004 Election 2006 Election 2008 Election 2010 Election 2016 Elena Kagan Elitism Embryonic Stem Cell Research End Times? English language Enhanced Interrogation Erosion of Rights Eucharist Euthanasia Exorcism Extraordinary Synod Facebook Faith Faith and Reason Faith Friday Faith Perspective Faithful Friday Fascism Again Fascism in America Fatima FCC Feminism Film First Things Forgiveness Fr. James Martin Francis and Islam Francis in America Frassati Fred Thompson Free Speech? Freedom of Worship FutureChurch Global Pandemic GOP Congress Haiti Head Covering Health Care Here and Queer Hermits Heroes Hitchens Holy Spirit Holy Week '09 Holy Week '10 Hoo-Hah & BS Hoo-Hah & BS Icons Illegal Immigration In The Arena Interviews Interwebz Iran Uprising Iraqi Christians ISIL ISIS Islamic State Islamification/Islamofascism Islamification/Islamofascism Isra-El It's all about me! Me! ME! James Burke Jerry Lewis Jesus Christ Joblessness John Boehner John McCain John Paul II John XXIII Juan Williams Just Words Katrina/Rita King is a Fink Latin Mass Leadership Lectio Divina Lent Lent '08 Lent '09 Lent 2010 Lent 2011 Limbaugh Listen to Lizzie Litigious Society Liturgy Liturgy of the Hours Mainstream Media Manliness Marriage Mary Media Excess Medical Merton Michelle Obama Mighty John O' Connor Misc. Miss Ella Missionaries Mitt Romney Monasticism My brother S My Irish Aunties Mystic Monks Nanny Statism Nature NEA Neri New Media Newman Noonan Notre Dame NPR Stuff Nun News Obama Bad? Obama Good? Obama White House Oil Spill Online Retreat '08 Online Retreat Days Oratory Orthodoxy Our Hillary! Parenting Passionists Patheos Patheos Book Club Patrons Paul Ryan Penance Penn Jillette Philosophy PJTV Podcasts Poetry Politics-free zone Pop Culture Pope Emeritus Pope Francis Prayer Predictions Priesthood Pro-Life Public Sector Unions Purgatory Questions about Catholicism Quotes of the Day Quoting the News Race in America rants Recipes Remarried Catholics Reposts by request Retreat thoughts Rome Rudy Giuliani Russia Saints Sarah Palin Scandal Scott Brown SCOTUS Scriptural stuff Secularism Send in the clowns Serving up hot links Sexuality Sherrod Shroud of Turin Sisters and Nuns Social Entrepreneurship Social Media Social Security Socialism doesn't work Sports and Faith Stem Cells Strange Gods Suffering Synod Tea Parties Tea Party Terri Schiavo The 9/11 Commission The Catholic Answer The Constitution The Desert The Fourth Estate The Pelosi The Perpetual Adolescents The Rosary Third Party? Timothy Dolan Touch of evil TSA Tsunami TV/Pop Culture/Music TV/Pop Culture/Music Twitter Uncategorized Unemployment Unintended Consequences US Military Vaginal Musings Vatican Vespers video faves Vile Joe Biden Voter Fraud War by Litigation War on Terror War, What it good for? Why can't weeee be ... World Youth Days Year of Faith Year of the Priest

Select a Month August 2016 July 2016 April 2016 March 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 August 2004

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What Christian group emphasizes speaking in tongues as evidence of faith?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Catholics Presbyterians Pentecostals Methodists