{"id":5943,"date":"2024-06-09T14:50:04","date_gmt":"2024-06-09T18:50:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/terrygaspard\/?p=5943"},"modified":"2024-06-09T14:50:04","modified_gmt":"2024-06-09T18:50:04","slug":"8-rules-for-effective-family-meetings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/terrygaspard\/2024\/06\/8-rules-for-effective-family-meetings\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Rules for Effective Family Meetings\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Family meetings are useful to plan events and to hash out new roles, rules and problems that exist between family members. For the most part, a family meeting is a good place to be vulnerable with each other and to let your feelings, thoughts, and needs be heard by other members in a safe atmosphere. As long as feelings are stated in a non-blameful way, solutions can be reached through compromise and good listening skills discussed under \u201c8 Rules of Family Meetings\u201d below.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The immense effort it can take to get all family members together is one space is worthwhile in most cases. But by no stretch of the imagination are these meetings easy or without conflict. The most important aspects of the family meeting are structure, flexibility, active listening, and having a recorder to write all your findings down.<\/p>\n

Here are 4 Tips for Setting Up Family Meetings: <\/strong><\/p>\n

1. \nAll members need to have choices regarding the day and time of the meeting. It\u2019s important to try not to leave anyone out, meet on a regular basis, and set a time limit.<\/li>\nFamily members are advised to write down complaints, suggestions, or grievances on a slip and put them in a box. A meeting can be held when there are several slips in the box or about once a week.<\/li>\nIt is a good idea to request a different volunteer at each meeting to be a scribe and to keep these notes in an agreed upon location in your home.<\/li>\nAny family member can request a family meeting with at least one days\u2019 notice given to other members.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

   \u00a0<\/strong>8 Rules of Family Meetings: <\/strong><\/p>\n

   \nPractice tolerance and fairness<\/strong>. The thoughts and feelings of all family members count equally regardless of age or status.<\/li>\nAll family members turn off electronic devices during meetings<\/strong> unless someone is on call or has an elderly relative.<\/li>\nAsk a volunteer one to write down the agenda for the next meeting<\/strong> and to post it in a prominent place in your home.<\/li>\nFeelings are accepted and validated and not judged to be right or wrong<\/strong>, reasonable or unreasonable.<\/li>\nNo accusations and name-calling are allowed at meetings.<\/strong> The best way to avoid this is to use \u201cI\u201d statements rather than \u201cYou\u201d statements. For instance, if you are feeling upset because your kids leave their dishes in the sink, it\u2019s more effective to say, \u201cI would appreciate it if you\u2019d put your dishes in the dishwasher,\u201d rather than \u201cYou kids are slobs and never clean up after yourself.\u201d<\/li>\nThe problem-solving stage<\/strong> comes next,<\/strong> and this is the time for compromise after brainstorming solutions. The adults need to take the lead here because they have more experience. However, children often come up with creative solutions and feel empowered when they can share them without criticism. Once a solution has been accepted by most family members, write it down and post it in a location in our home for all to view.<\/li>\nTake a Break if anyone feels flooded<\/strong>. If there\u2019s a lot of conflict between family members, it\u2019s a good idea to take a twenty-minute break or schedule a smaller meeting for members when family members can more easily feel validated and work towards a compromise. But don\u2019t let more than twenty-four hours go by until you meet again.<\/li>\nEnd family meetings on a positive note.<\/strong> Be sure to conclude meetings with positive feedback and encouragement so that family members will feel okay or even good about coming to meetings again.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

   Keep in mind that the focus of family meeting is to address how the family is doing as a whole, rather than individual grievances. Be sure that everyone has a chance to speak and be heard. All family members are advised to validate the feelings of other members and to show respect during meetings. Playing a game of cards or a board game at the conclusion of the meeting can help to encourage bonding, good communications, and good times!<\/p>\n

   Twitter<\/strong><\/a>,\u00a0<\/strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>,\u00a0<\/strong>and,\u00a0movingpastdivorce.com<\/strong><\/a>. Terry\u2019s award winning book\u00a0Daughters of Divorce<\/strong><\/a>: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents\u2019 Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship is available on her website. Her new book\u00a0The Remarriage Manual<\/strong><\/em><\/a>: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around was published by Sounds True on February 18, 2020.<\/em><\/p>\n

   I\u2019d love to hear from you and answer your questions about relationships, divorce, marriage, and remarriage. Please ask a question\u00a0<\/strong>here<\/strong><\/a>. Thanks! Terry\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

   \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

   Family meetings are useful to plan events and to hash out new roles, rules and problems that exist between family members. For the most part, a family meeting is a good place to be vulnerable with each other and to let your feelings, thoughts, and needs be heard by other members in a safe atmosphere. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3446,"featured_media":263,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fbia_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[137,109],"class_list":["post-5943","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-conflicts","tag-family"],"yoast_head":"\n8 Rules for Effective Family Meetings\u00a0<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Family meetings are useful to plan events and to hash out new roles, rules and problems that exist between family members. 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