Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Family, Parenting and Religion
5 Smart Ways to Repair Broken Trust

5 Smart Ways to Repair Broken Trust

Last updated on: March 2, 2025 at 7:04 pm by Terry Gaspard

0 Comments

5 Smart Ways to Repair Broken Trust 2025-03-02T19:04:03-05:00 Terry Gaspard

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Karen, 48, and Mike, 53, sat on the couch in my office and described their trust issues stemming from a challenging time in their marriage last year. During this time, Karen had been confiding with a male co-worker about their problems. When Mike found out about it from reading a text , he became angry and mistrustful of Karen. She took responsibility for her emotional infidelity and their process of healing began.

Karen puts it like this, “We’re starting couples therapy to work through our communication issues and to be able to regain the loving and trusting relationship we once had. I love Mike and have apologized for confiding in a co-worker and becoming emotionally distant from Mike.”

Mistrust can come in many forms, from suspecting partners of infidelity, to fearing that they will abandon you emotionally or physically. Trusting your partner means that you believe you can count on them and that they have your best interests at heart.

Here are 5 smart ways to repair broken trust:

Examine your mistrustful thoughts. Ask yourself: is my lack of trust due to my partner’s actions or my own issues, or both? Be aware of triggers from your past that may cause you to feel mistrust in the present.
Learn to trust your intuition and instincts. Have confidence in your own perceptions and pay attention to red flags.
Take responsibility for how your reactions may be having a destructive impact on your relationship and apologize when you say or do hurtful things to your partner.
Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. If your partner lets you down, don’t always assume that a failure in competence is intentional – sometimes people simply make a mistake.
Listen to your partner’s side of the story. Make sure your words and tone of voice are consistent with your goal of building trust.

Even if you find yourself in a reasonably healthy relationship, you may still be unable to trust your partner. Sometimes, he or is simply untrustworthy based on past actions, so you have reason to feel leery. Other times, the initial breakdown in your childhood has caused you to lack trust – even if your partner demonstrates trustworthiness.

Proving trust is so much more than catching your partner in a truth or a lie. To trust someone, you must have faith in them. You must have a strong belief and conviction that your partner will not hurt you. You must believe he or she is being honest with you, that you can depend on them, and that he or she has you as their first priority.

Can you say that you are truly confident in your partner? Confident, that they are truthful, faithful, and in every way present, in your relationship? Cultivating this sort of relationship is one of the greatest challenges for couples.

The scariest thing about falling in love is living with the knowledge that it might end. You’re faced with a choice. You can come at relationships from a place of love and trust, or you can choose to be suspicious, doubtful, and wary. The most important thing to consider is whether your partner is worthy of trust.

Have his or her actions matched their words? Does your partner treat you with respect? Are they dependable? Are they consistent and predictable? Is he or she faithful and truthful? If the answer to these questions is yes, you must choose to trust. It’s possible that you might end up getting hurt. However, if your partner has shown you trustworthy behavior, you should reward him or her by showing trust in return.

Learning to Trust Takes Time and Patience

Take a moment to consider this: your partner is not solely responsible for creating mistrustful feelings. In most cases, you must take equal responsibility for creating an atmosphere of safety and security in relationships. Trust is a two-way street. In order for your relationship to move to a deeper level of trust and intimacy, your partner needs to have the ability to trust you, and you need to be trustworthy.

Truth be told, learning to trust is a skill that takes time and patience. It’s possible to adopt a mindset that your partner wants the best for you and won’t hurt or abandon you if he or she has shown through their actions and words that they are reliable. You can face your trust issues with a hopeful attitude if you offer trust to those who earn it by showing you they are dependable day by day.

Twitter, Facebook, and, movingpastdivorce.com. Terry’s award winning book Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents’ Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship is available on her website.

I’d love to hear from you and answer your questions about relationships, divorce, marriage, and remarriage. Please ask a question here. Thanks! Terry

Uncategorized

Marriage

relationship problems

Previous Post

February 23, 2025

7 Ways to Rid Yourself of Jealous Feelings

Next Post

March 9, 2025 Self-Care Doesn’t Mean You’re Being Selfish in Relationships

Recent Comments

0 | Leave a Comment

"The cheering after each cut of twine highlights how ritual isn’t just personal it’s MyCCPay ..."

nehal062karkera

3 Steps to Being an Active ..."

"https://uploads.disquscdn.c..."

Melanie Bush

Full Disclosure About Finances Reduces Marital ..."

"https://uploads.disquscdn.c..."

Melanie Bush

8 Signs My Partner is Marriage ..."

"A successful remarriage (I'm 35 years into one) cannot be reduced to "8 steps" or ..."

Vance Morgan

8 Keys to Success in a ..."

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does Paul say is the wages of sin?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Death Punishment Hell Separation from God