4 Ways to Enhance Sensual Communication in Your Marriage

Last updated on: June 23, 2022 at 9:07 am by Terry Gaspard

4 Ways to Enhance Sensual Communication in Your Marriage 2022-06-23T09:07:01-04:00 Terry Gaspard

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Like many of the couples I counsel, Olivia, 38, and Jason, 40, are deeply committed to making their marriage work, but they have drifted apart sexually and emotionally after having three children and maintaining full-time jobs. They are seeking counseling because they want to explore ways to feel closer and more passionate like they did in the early years of their marriage.

Olivia put it like this: “I love Jason but it’s hard to find time to be intimate and it’s starting to feel like we’re roommates. We don’t make time to be alone together very often and I don’t know where to start.”

Jason responds: “I don’t want to blame Olivia but it feels like I’m not a priority since she seems to put our kids first. When I recommend that we go out to dinner or do something alone, she usually says we need to save the money or we need to stay with the kids. Since we have family to babysit, it doesn’t really make sense that we can’t go out sometimes.”

Fortunately, there are some simple things you can do to restore the spark you once had as a couple. In fact, even if you are not a touchy-feely person, increasing physical affection and emotional connection can help you to sustain a deep, meaningful bond.

Olivia and Jason are a busy couple raising three children and yet I explain that to keep their sex life vibrant, it’s important to make time to be alone (as a couple) least one night a week. They need to make time away from their children a priority. After modifying their schedule and planning some date nights, they both experienced more sensual feelings and emotional intimacy.

Olivia explains, *“*Between activities for the kids, work, and family commitments, we weren’t finding time for us. Then Jason, asked his mother to stay overnight and he booked a hotel room on Cape Cod. Since we live in Boston, it was only an hour away and we had plenty of time to reconnect and be sexually intimate. We hope it carries over to the rest of our lives.”

When it comes to sex, there will always be plenty of opinions about what to do to spruce up your sex life and bring mutual satisfaction. In my opinion, making your marriage a priority and scheduling time to do fun things (at home or in another location) can help you feel closer. Be sure to put your phones on silent and turn towards each other often by using good eye contact and listening with intention to him or her.

Enhancing Sensual Communication

Being more sensual in your communication with your partner includes talking about how attracted to them you are, how attractive you think he or she is, and what you look forward to during your time alone together. Saying something like “I love it when we share our thoughts and feelings and cuddle” can enhance your emotional intimacy. Saying something positive that you appreciate about your partner can bring you closer, such as “You make the best tacos ever, this dinner is so delicious.”

Follow these 4 Tips to Rev Up Your Passion and Intimacy:

During the next two weeks, focus on a variety of ways to show love to your spouse. Try to smile more, touch your spouse frequently, sit close together on the couch, or offer reassurance with a gentle stroke of your hand if they seem to need it. Even a six-second kiss when you separate in the morning or reunite after work can bring you closer.
Communicate with your spouse regarding their comfort level with physical touch and frequency of sexual intimacy. Let your partner know that you are comfortable with having “good enough” sex as a way to stay close. Sometimes when couples expect every love-making session to be extraordinary, it can take away from the playful aspects of sex that can make it fun and relaxing.
Increase physical affection by doubling the amount you touch your partner. Hold hands with him or her, give them a massage, and demonstrate your love through touch twice as much as you have been. Departing and reunification at the end of the workday are good times to practice this ritual.
Randomly leave “I love you” post it notes or send loving text messages at least once a day for a week. Think of fun and special places to leave these notes. Examples are the shower, lingerie drawer, or under their pillow. Text messages can include romantic content. For instance, “I can’t wait to hold you tonight – you’re so handsome!”

Give your partner the gift of love and passion today by being as responsive as you can be to their overtures for physical affection and emotional intimacy. Be sure to ask him or her open-ended questions such as “What was the best part of your day?” By doing this, you will pave the way more a more satisfying relationship which includes improved sexual and emotional intimacy.

Follow Terry Gaspard on Twitter, Facebook, and movingpastdivorce.com. Her book Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents’ Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship is available on her website. Feel free to ask a question here.

Terry’s book, The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around, was published by Sounds True in February of 2020.

Previous Post

June 5, 2022

The Best Way to Beat the Odds and See Your Remarriage Succeed

Next Post

June 17, 2022 Restoring Emotional and Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which was the day that God ended His creation and rested?

Select your answer to see how you score.

On the 6th day He never rested On the 5th day On the 7th day