5 Ways to Restore Trust After an Emotional Affair

Last updated on: November 22, 2020 at 3:51 pm by Terry Gaspard

5 Ways to Restore Trust After an Emotional Affair 2020-11-22T15:51:27-05:00 Terry Gaspard

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Recently, many experts have written about the hazards of an emotional affair and how it can erode trust in a marriage. It is a form of betrayal that can capsize a couple’s sense of safety and security in no time. The media tends to portray betrayals as physical affairs; whereas an emotional affair can have the same detrimental impact on a romantic relationship.

If you are questioning whether you are enmeshed in an emotional affair, it’s important to define what they are. First and foremost, an emotional affair is characterized by an intimate connection with someone who isn’t your partner but the person takes on many of the functions of your partner. For instance, you spend a lot of time with him or her, you find yourself confiding in him/her, and you look to them for solace and support.

It’s key to acknowledge that in order for a relationship to qualify as an emotional affair, it usually involves a deep connection that is more than a friendship. Most emotional affairs involve secrecy from your partner. For instance, you find yourself not being completely honest about how much time you spend with this person, and the closeness of your bond, you are probably entangled in an emotional affair.

Many people embroiled in emotional affairs attest to the obsessive quality about them. For instance, they might find themselves having frequent sexual fantasies about them or waking up in the morning thinking about the person. Another red flag of an emotional affair is frequent text messaging or sharing private details about your intimate life with your partner.

The good news is that in contrast to infidelity that involves sexual betrayal, emotional affairs are usually less complicated and they can be ended more easily without severe breeches of trust in your partner. Following the guidelines below will help you rebuild love after an emotional affair.

5 tips for rebuilding love with your partner after an emotional affair:

The betrayer must end their emotional affair. Stop spending time with the person who you’re having an emotional affair with. This may be a challenge if you work together or travel in the same circles put it’s a crucial step. In order to rebuild love with your partner you need to focus on restoring love, trust, and intimacy with them. This is impossible when you have one foot out the door.
You must tell the person who you’re having an emotional affair with that it must end. If you need do so in person that’s okay as long as you keep it short, don’t offer excuses, and don’t reassure them or give false hope about the possibility of you resuming your connection.
Be transparent with your partner about this relationship and your intention to stop seeing the person who you’re having an emotional affair with. Now is not the time to be coy – it’s best to be completely vulnerable and tell the whole truth, including any reasons why you pursued the emotional affair such as loneliness or unmet emotional needs.
Look to your partner to satisfy some of the emotional needs that you were seeking to fulfill in the emotional affair. Take an inventory of all of the things you like about him or her so that you can work on filling these needs elsewhere – either with a close friend or your significant other. These qualities might include good listener, fun loving, or understanding.
Recommit to your marriage and be patient with the process: This means that marriage requires a lot of effort and an intention to pay attention to your partners needs. John Gottman recommends that couples practice “turning towards” one another rather than away when they’re having communication difficulties. Spending 30 minutes a day in stress-reducing conversations can help you do this.

Keep in mind that your relationship with your partner needs to be a priority or you might find yourself slipping back into the same trap of seeking comfort and intimacy with another person. Carve out time to spend with your partner on a daily or weekly basis. Try a variety of activities that can bring you both pleasure. At some point, your actual partner may seem dull or compare unfavorably to the other man or women and you run the risk of seeing your partner in a negative light, or becoming easily frustrated with them if you don’t try to keep things interesting. Don’t forget to cuddle on the couch and surprise your partner with a kiss.

Find Terry on Twitter, Facebook, and, movingpastdivorce.com. Terry’s award winning book Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents’ Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship is available on her website. Her new book The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around was published by Sounds True on February 18, 2020.

I’d love to hear from you and answer your questions about relationships, divorce, marriage, and remarriage. Please ask a question here. Thanks! Terry

Uncategorized

Infidelity

Marriage

Previous Post

November 13, 2020

Life After Infidelity

Next Post

November 30, 2020 4 Steps to Having Low Conflict Discussions About Finances With Your Partner

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What is the central Christian doctrine that God exists as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Predestination Trinity Incarnation Salvation