4 Ways to Be More Transparent About Money with Your Partner

Last updated on: February 19, 2020 at 4:12 pm by Terry Gaspard

4 Ways to Be More Transparent About Money with Your Partner 2020-02-19T16:12:57-05:00 Terry Gaspard

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Despite the fact that money problems are the number one subjects couples argue about and a leading cause of divorce, there are few studies that address the issue of financial secrecy or financial infidelity. The reason why many people keep secrets about money is fear of being abandoned, shame, and fear of being vulnerable due to past betrayal by a parent or partner.

Learning how to have productive, low-conflict discussions about money is essential to handling finances in a healthy way. Finances are a touchy subject for all couples and a leading cause of divorce. However, when you get married, your spouse should be made aware of any debts that you have in your name. And after you wed, having regular discussions about expenses, income, and debts is essential to having a happy, long-term marriage.

Anything less than full disclosure about money matters will breed an atmosphere of mistrust in your relationship. Being in debt can result in a great deal of stress and being open about it with your partner will enable you to come up with a plan to improve your situation.

Laura, 53, had been remarried to Kevin, 55, for seven years when he found out that she had a secret bank account that had thousands of dollars in it. Meanwhile, they had been struggling to pay their mortgage and to find funds for their vacation with their two children.

Laura put it like this, “I know hiding my secret account was wrong but I feel insecure about money since my first husband left after ten years of marriage and cleaned out my bank accounts. I have trust issues and I need to work on them and be fair to Kevin. We are going to couples counseling to work through these money issues and I want my marriage to work.”

Being in debt can result in a great deal of stress and being open about it with your partner will enable you to come up with a plan to improve your situation. Here are some steps you can make to address debt head-on as a unified couple:

Having weekly one to two hour discussions about money.
Taking the time to create a budget together.
Seeing a debt counselor or financial advisor.
Looking into debt relief or consolidation companies.

The first two steps above will help you to look at your assets and expenses, and to decide on strategies. If restructuring your budget and coming up with solutions doesn’t seem to relieve your stress and help you to pay off your debt, seeing a debt counselor may be a good idea. Having a financial plan in place will help you to have less stress and you’ll probably argue less and feel more content.

If couples have not established a bedrock of trust and vulnerability together, they might be more prone to committing financial infidelity. If you consistently feel uneasy because you can’t trust your partner, even minor mistakes or errors in judgment can make you feel vulnerable, in spite of your partner offering a good explanation for their actions. In other words, by keeping secrets or lying to your partner you put your relationship in jeopardy because he or she may have lost a sense of trust and security that couples need to thrive and grow resilient together.

Follow Terry here: Twitter, Facebook, and, movingpastdivorce.com. Terry’s award winning book Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents’ Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship is available on her website.

Terry’s forthcoming book, The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around, was published by Sounds True in February of 2020.

Uncategorized

finances

Marriage

Previous Post

July 26, 2019

The Pro's and Cons of Trial Separation

Next Post

August 9, 2019 5 Ways to Increase Intimacy and Happiness in Your Marriage

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

According to Hebrews 11, what is the correct chronological order of these faith heroes?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Abraham, Noah, Enoch, Abel Noah, Abraham, Abel, Enoch Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham Enoch, Abel, Abraham, Noah