The New Norms in Post-Divorce Dating

Last updated on: February 19, 2020 at 4:19 pm by Terry Gaspard

The New Norms in Post-Divorce Dating 2020-02-19T16:19:39-05:00 Terry Gaspard

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

In previous blog posts, I’ve looked at the impact that social media and app-based dating has on long-term success in relationships, but in her recent article in Divorce Magazine, Wendi Schuller has added a new wrinkle to the equation.

While it’s certainly the case that dating patterns of millennials have changed with the rise of services like Tinder, Schuller looks specifically at how those same apps have affected older people searching for companionship on the other side of a divorce.

In her analysis, Schuller makes clear that while Tinder and the like have opened up a world of choices to divorcees, the stark realities and mechanics of online dating have unearthed a host of factors that can doom new relationships. She points out that when a new romantic
relationship is initially formed without traditional face-to-face contact, baggage from one’s divorce can lead to the very same conflicts that caused the dissolution of a marriage in the first place.

For instance, mistrust and commitment issues show themselves in these early interactions. Whether dating apps encourage a lack of commitment because they give the impression that there are “plenty of fish in the sea,” (indeed, there is a dating app called Plenty of Fish) or whether because of the emotional distance created by remote dating, many couples who meet online find it difficult to foster trust and form lasting, meaningful bonds.

Schuller also suggests that the online dating ecosystem taps into a number of familiar stereotypes about the divergent motivations of men and women. Men might assume that women hear their “biological clock ticking,” or are looking to jump quickly into a long-term
relationship. On the other hand, women might assume that men they meet through dating apps believe that “monogamy is not natural.” Whether these assumptions about a prospective partner’s point of view are accurate, they can sow the seeds discord before a couple has a
chance to truly get to know each other.

While there is sure to be continued research into these new age problems, the path forward for divorcees in search of solutions is not immediately clear. However, a common sense approach is a good place to start. People looking for love via dating apps should be mindful, aware of the all too common pitfalls, and should approach these new relationships with their eyes open. And indeed, couples who find a potential long-term partnership, should keep the notion of “partnership” in mind.

The key to the success post-divorce relationships, is tackling troubles together with your partner, as they arise, and at the appropriate stage of your new relationship. Further, it’s important to approach your new partnership with openness and a healthy degree of vulnerability. These preventative steps could prove to be the antidote to online dating blues and foster trust and intimacy in post-divorce dating relationships .

Twitter, Facebook, and, movingpastdivorce.com. Terry’s award winning book Daughters of Divorce: Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents’ Breakup and Enjoy a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship is available on her website. Her new book, The Remarriage Manual, is available for purchase from your favorite bookseller.

I’d love to hear from you and answer your questions about relationships, divorce, marriage, and remarriage. Please ask a question here. Thanks! Terry

Uncategorized

dating

divorce

Previous Post

June 19, 2019

Focus on Changing Yourself, Not Your Partner To Find Lasting Love

Next Post

June 26, 2019 How to Make Your Marriage a Priority

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

In what parable does a father run to greet his lost son?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The Rich Man and Lazarus The Lost Sheep The Prodigal Son The Two Sons