An Acid Witch

Last updated on: September 18, 2017 at 10:46 pm by Laura Tempest Zakroff

An Acid Witch 2017-09-18T22:46:42-08:00 Laura Tempest Zakroff

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Let’s play Jeopardy for a moment. The blog post title is the “answer”, so what’s the question?

In my head, it’s “What’s the opposite of a basic witch?”

Yeah, it’s total dad joke territory. I admit it. The question could also be….What happens when the Science, Witchcraft, and Smart Ass circles of the Venn Diagram overlap?

(Probably me.)

Back Story Time!
A while back, my eye caught an article about ‘basic witches’ (warning there’s a video that also auto-plays – but you can read the article if you so desire) – and I probably made this noise, possibly followed by this face.

As I said in this post nearly a year ago, I’m not hating on trends. I’m not going to judge how folks find Witchcraft. Some folks may be here for a hot trendy, pointy nail crystal-encrusted moment, but there will be others who stick around. Because something calls to them beneath the surface.

Then I saw my friend Pleasant in a photo sporting a shirt that said “Don’t be a basic witch.” Which made me laugh, and then go….oh…this really is a thing, isn’t it?

Science!
Sure, we could look at it as “going back to basics” – as in “forming an essential foundation or starting point.” But the way my brain works, it’s more like “having the properties of a base, or containing a base; having a pH greater than 7.” If it makes your skin feel slippery, it’s probably a base.

Surprised? I got all A’s in my science classes – honors level. Of course I’m an nerd about this stuff. I’m also an artist and a writer, so my brain just had a field day at that point. So we have bases, we have a neutral PH, and then we have acids! So that made me wonder, what’s an Acid Witch?

An acid is “a chemical substance that neutralizes alkalis, dissolves some metals, and turns litmus red; typically, a corrosive or sour-tasting liquid of this kind.” It also tends to refer to being sarcastic, sharp-tongued or cutting with one’s remarks. Hmm.

Witchcraft!
Neutralizing, dissolving, making things red, sharp and biting? I could totally get behind that. We also get citrus juices, rainwater, and vinegar on our team! On the other side, they have baking soda, egg whites, and ammonia. Bland white stuff that covers up smells, the clear mucus part of eggs, and what happens when urine collects and sits. (fun chart here!) Hmm. I know what side I’d rather be on. Ok, well that last one concerning urine is considered handy in baneful spellwork. Yeah no, wines also fall under acids, so I’m there. Because with wine, you do eventually get urine.

"The Four Witches" - etching by Albrecht Dürer

“The Four Witches” – etching by Albrecht Dürer

I also majored in Printmaking, focusing on Intaglio processes. Intaglio covers etching – a process in which you take a metal plate (copper or zinc), cover it in a wax-like substance, scratch through the wax to expose the metal, then place it in a vat of acid. The acid eats into the plate, creating grooves that can capture ink. You cover the plate in ink, wipe off the excess, then send the plate through a press with a sheet of paper. The paper is pressed into the crevices, pulling out the ink. And then you get art! You can’t do that with a base!

Under the veil of the dark arts of Printmaking, the acid reveals and creates the image, all below and beneath the surface. Getting gritty, making marks with needles, covered in ink, the craftsmanship of making a plate, working to open the fibers of the paper – all the while everything is reversed until the print is pulled for all to see. If that doesn’t line up with Witchcraft in a wonderful way…well, I guess there’s always inkjet.

Smart Ass!
Now, I don’t think Acid Witches are going to become a thing like Bro Witches. But I may have to make a graphic (better than my silly venn diagram). And if anyone asks me if I’m basic witch, I’ve got an answer for them.

Also…..

You can’t burn an Acid Witch….but they sure can burn you.

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