Ted Cruz: “You Suck” – Children Hecklers and the Politics of Parenting

Last updated on: May 3, 2016 at 3:29 pm by Adam Ericksen

Ted Cruz: “You Suck” – Children Hecklers and the Politics of Parenting 2016-05-03T15:29:55-05:00 Adam Ericksen

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As we get closer to the Republican and Democratic National Conventions, political rivals on both sides are increasing their attacks. Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders openly doubt each other’s qualifications for becoming president. Ted Cruz questions whether Donald Trump sets a good example for our children.

As a parent, I sympathize with Cruz when he asks, “Do you want your kids repeating the words of Donald Trump?”

Cruz is pointing to an important aspect of mimetic theory – that we are formed in relationship with our models. According to mimetic theory, we usually don’t consciously pick our models. We have a “non-conscious” relationship with our models. That means, for good or ill, and usually without even realizing it, we mimic the behavior, attitudes, and methods of our models.

An important model within the United States is our president. So, I agree with Ted Cruz. Personally, I don’t want a president who is hostile toward groups that are labeled as “other” – whether they are Muslims, Mexicans, the poor, the rich, the establishment, the Democrats, the Republicans, the criminals, or the holier-than-thou.

Of course, Donald Trump isn’t the only presidential candidate to act with hostility toward a scapegoated group. Ted Cruz does it. Bernie Sanders does it. Hillary Clinton does it. The Senate has been thwarted from accomplishing much of anything by its own internal hostility.

And yes, our children absorb that hostility. What our children need, what we all need, are people to model a better way.

Unfortunately, while Cruz rightly criticized Trump for being a poor model for our children, Cruz recently failed to be a positive model.

At a recent Q & A session, Cuz was heckled by a 12 year old boy, who yelled at him, “You suck!”

I wish I were making this up! But should we be surprised that a 10 year old makes such a statement? It’s too easy to blame Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, or the Senate for that. That kind of behavior is our responsibility. How will we respond?

Cruz responded to the boy’s hostility with nonconscious mimesis. Nonconscious mimesis responds to our models in the same manner. Cruz responded to the boy by mimicking his hostility. “You know,” Cruz explained to the boy, “one of the things that I hope that someone has told you is that children should actually speak with respect … In my household, when someone behaves that way, they get a spanking.”

The problem with Cruz’s logic is that children learn how to be disrespectful from their models – their parents. That’s the problem with spanking – it teaches our children that the way to treat someone who disrespects you is with a more violent form of disrespect.

Of course, most parents, myself included, don’t see our spanking as violent. Rather, we see it as a form of discipline, or even a form of teaching. But we humans have a very keen ability to live in denial about our violence. I can think of no better definition of violence than when a person in a position of power (parent) physically harms someone in a lower position of power (a child).

René Girard, the founder of mimetic theory, claims that “we will always be mimetic, but we don’t have to be so in a satanic fashion.” By “satanic fashion” Girard simply means we don’t have to nonconsciously respond to hostility with more hostility, to disrespect with more disrespect, to violence with more violence. Rather, we can respond to the negativity in our lives by consciously modeling an alternative way.

For example, instead of threatening to spank a child for being “disrespectful,” we can learn to verbalize our emotions in a more productive and life giving way.

I confess to you that I am not innocent in this. I have learned from personal experience that spanking children is counterproductive. I have also learned that parenting is hard – not so much because of my children (they do make easy scapegoats!), but because I often have a quick temper, especially when I’m tired or in a hurry. Spanking doesn’t work to change children in a positive way. What does work over time is to talk about our emotions, rather than violently acting upon them.

Image: Screenshot from YouTube video “Ted Cruz handles a young boy who disrupts his speech in La Porte, Indiana 5/1/2016.

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