Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Strategic Monk

Home
Contemplative
Politics and Religion
Who Do We Hate the Most?

Who Do We Hate the Most?

Last updated on: November 15, 2023 at 4:42 am by Greg Richardson

0 Comments

Who Do We Hate the Most? 2023-11-15T04:42:04-08:00 Greg Richardson

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Who we hate the most appears to define our world.

We live in a world which has been been at war for longer than we can remember. Large groups of people who hate each other and take violent actions to express their hatred.

It is almost impossible to go onto social media without hearing about what or who someone hates. Other media are essentially the same. Hatred seems to be everywhere.

Some of us have become more sophisticated about how we communicate our hatred. We do not want other people to accuse us of hate speech or inciting hate crimes. Our words do not brim with venom and vitriol, but with sarcasm and “humor.”

What do we mean when we talk about hating something or someone?

It is easy for us to categorize our hatreds and put them into words. Some of us experience hatred when this happens and some of us when that happens. We become more expert each day about what we despise, loathe, and abhor.

There is something intensely personal about hatred. We know deep within our hearts what we hate, even when we cannot remember why.

For some of us hatred is emotional. It happens when we get so angry it boils over into something more intense. Others of us have a more intellectual hatred. We were taught to hate certain people from our earliest days.

We experience having little or no control over hatred. Hatred has been woven into the fabric of our lives. It has power over us. Our hatred moves us to do things in certain ways.

For many of us hatred is something which comes over us. We do not question it.

We do not know what we are doing when we hate.

Our Hatred Destroys Us

We believe our hatred destroys its focus. The intensity of our emotions or beliefs convinces us we are corroding the focus of our hatred. We put so much of our energy into hating it must change something.

Our hatred does not destroy whatever or whoever we hate.

When we spend our lives hating someone or something we are wasting our time. Hatred has a corrosive effect on us, eating away our strength and energy.

The person most injured by our hating is ourself.

Many of us experience hatred as an extension of our fear or anger. The object of our hatred commands more and more of our time and attention. We may put together elaborate plans to retaliate or gain revenge. The attention of our hearts and our minds is absorbed in our hatred.

The more our hatred grows in us the less room is left for who we truly can become.

We will begin to see evidence which supports our hatred wherever we look. Our time and attention become fuel for the fire of our hate.

Whoever or whatever we hate will not be consumed by our hatred. We will.

Some of us understand our hatred is not rational and does not make sense. We may appreciate hating is not healthy but not know what we can do to stop it.

How can we stop whatever it is our hatred does to us? Are there ways to heal and give up hating?

Our first step is recognizing what our hatred does to us. When we appreciate how our hating harms us we begin to realize we need to stop.

It is a challenge, particularly because the culture all around us is fueled by the power of hatred.

What is our next step toward freedom from hate?

Healing How We Hate

It is not enough for us to simply decide to stop hating.

Our hate is a powerful way of living we have been practicing for as long as we can remember. There will be aspects of our hatred which are still intertwined in our lives. It will take us practice to become aware of all the ways hate is part of how we live.

When we are physically dependent on someone or something, we need to pay attention to our bodies. We test our strength or our balance to determine whether we can stand on our own.

Healing the ways we have depended on hatred can feel similar to recovering from a physical injury or illness.

It is not enough for us to be free from the fever of hatred right now. Hate may be hiding within us waiting for an opportunity to flare up again.

Our healing from hatred takes time. We cannot simply decide one day we will not hate anymore.

As we learn about our own hatred we become aware of its guises. We pay attention and practice not hating. It is possible for us to learn to forgive ourselves and let go of what caused us to hate.

Hatred and Spiritual Life

I know people for whom hatred and anger are integral aspects of spiritual life. They believe they are loving what is good and hating what is evil.

For many of us hatred is embedded deep within us. It can be a challenge for us to recognize it as hatred. Many of us assume most other people share our feelings and beliefs, and our hatred. It is just the way things are.

Our contemplative practices give us opportunities to reflect on our internal hatreds. We listen to the stillness within us and around us, opening ourselves to spiritual life.

As we take time to pause and breathe and listen we begin to recognize the truth of who we are.

Spiritual life works in us in ways we do not control to help heal our hatreds.

At a time when the culture in which we live encourages our hating, spiritual life shows us a different way of living.

We begin to appreciate what our hating costs us.

Spiritual life is about healing the injuries and harm caused by hatred.

Who do we hate the most bitterly?

How will we understand who we hate the most in a new way today?

[Image by EliseMeder]

Greg Richardson is a spiritual director in Southern California. He is a recovering assistant district attorney and associate university professor and is a lay Oblate with New Camaldoli Hermitage near Big Sur, California. Greg’s website is http://StrategicMonk.com and his email address is [email protected].

Politics and Religion

History and Religion

Blog

Spiritual Direction

hatred

Previous Post

November 9, 2023

Stillness on a November Morning

Next Post

November 21, 2023 Practicing Advent Online

Recent Comments

0 | Leave a Comment

"Thus wrote Mahatma Gandhi: "Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the ..."

Dr.Cajetan Coelho

A Matter of Life and Death: ..."

"It's a Gandhian model of on-going-ness and togetherness. Day after day, week after week, month ..."

Dr.Cajetan Coelho

Practicing Community: How Do We Connect?

"Human beings love to experience uninterrupted and unending on-going-ness and togetherness. Easter offers that and ..."

Dr.Cajetan Coelho

Why is Easter Important?

"Friday in Holy Week is known as Good Friday. On Good Friday we remember the ..."

Dr.Cajetan Coelho

Is This a Particularly Holy Week?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Blog Book Reviews Everything Else Guest Posts Leadership Monastic Strategies Neighborhood Pilgrimages Sacred Stillness Spiritual Direction Spiritual Practices Work

Select a Month May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which prophet was a shepherd and a sycamore-fig farmer?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Daniel Joel Micah Amos