Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Strategic Monk

Home
Contemplative
Listening to Sacred Stillness: Becoming a Better Listener

Listening to Sacred Stillness: Becoming a Better Listener

Last updated on: October 14, 2021 at 3:43 am by Greg Richardson

Listening to Sacred Stillness: Becoming a Better Listener 2021-10-14T03:43:18-08:00 Greg Richardson

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Becoming a Better Listener

Some people seem to feel spiritual life is like a long series of meetings which never end. We sit and endure people talking even though we do not understand what difference it makes for us. There never seems to be time for questions. It is almost as if spiritual life is designed to discourage us from becoming a better listener.

Many of us experience spiritual life as something we have to do, not something we get to do.

Our spiritual experience may feel like an endless series of conferences. There are people who speak to all of us and then we break into smaller sessions. Even some of the people who stand in front doing the talking seem bored and dissatisfied.

Spiritual life appears to be a part of our lives where there is more talking than listening. Some people go to school for years to be qualified to talk about spiritual life. In many places someone teaches or preaches each week, trying to break spiritual life down into understandable pieces.

Rather than continuing to produce more teaching and training, more words, it might help them, and us, to become a better listener.

How do we listen well? Who or what gets in the way of our listening? How can we become a better listener?

Do we think listening is sitting there struggling not to fall asleep?

Why Is It a Challenge to Be a Better Listener?

We live in a world where listening seems to be less important.

Many of us have grown accustomed to being treated like we are not good listeners. When we make an appointment we are sent reminder after reminder to ensure we understand. We receive phone messages and texts and emails. Some reminders are actually written down on paper. If we were good listeners would we need all those reminders?

Why do people assume we are not listening? One reason is it has become more difficult to listen well.

Listening was one thing when people had contact with only a small number of other people each day. It was less challenging when people spent their lives with people they knew and saw in person. There were fewer distractions. We paid more focused attention to what was happening right in front of us.

Now we live in a world where our context has been transformed. Many of us talk with people on the other side of the country, or halfway around the planet, each day. We pay attention to weather events or political developments in places we have never visited.

Electronic media give us the ability to feel the experiences of being in distant places. It is more difficult to listen when our minds are filled with so many possibilities.

Sitting and listening as part of a group can feel like something we must endure. We experience it as time when nothing is happening. The images and experiences in our memories draw us away from paying attention.

It can be a challenge for us to listen to even one other person. Have we forgotten how to listen, how to reflect, how to pay attention to each other?

How Can We Become a Better Listener?

We live at a time when it has become unusual for people to listen to each other. The loss of our memory of listening contributes to the lack of listening and respect in our society. We are out of practice.

It can be easy for people who want to listen well to begin to feel discouraged and overwhelmed. Can we regain our ability to be a better listener?

Listening is a skill we learn and develop by practicing. There are physical, emotional, cognitive, and spiritual aspects of our listening.

Becoming a better listener is hard work. We need to be well rested and prepared for the physical experience of listening.

While listening is more than hearing, it is more challenging to listen well when we cannot hear well.

We can gain information and learn lessons about listening which help us become stronger listeners. Learning about listening may spark insights or questions which will contribute to our practice.

Listening well demands emotional depth and maturity. We may need to do some emotional work before we can be a better listener.

We begin to practice listening well by listening to ourselves. Spiritual life draws us to a deeper, more intimate understanding of ourselves. As our relationship to our true selves grows we begin to share ourselves with people around us.

As my own spiritual journey draws me further into connection with myself I am more able to listen better to others.

Some people help us become a better listener by being a challenge which pushes our listening in new directions.

As we practice listening each day, our practices guide us into becoming a better listener.

How Do We Practice Becoming as Better Listener?

As we practice listening, our practice grows within us. We begin to experience listening in new ways.

There is no concise, specific checklist which describes how we practice or become a better listener. It may not be satisfying to hear, but listening well is something we need to experience.

Somewhat like the experience of waking up, we slowly begin to realize we are no longer asleep.

While listening well may seem dramatic as we look back on our experiences, it is a natural process.

We may begin our practice by listening well to ourselves, to our own voices. As we practice we start to notice we have begun listening to other people in new ways. Some of us step toward listening to the world around us first, or listening to sacred stillness.

Each of us develops our practices of listening in our own uniquely personal ways. Listening sprouts and grows within us. Our pattern will be our own, distinct way of growing. We might find ourselves listening in surprising new ways.

How will we practice becoming a better listener today?

Who will help us become a better listener this week?

[Image by ky_olsen]

Greg Richardson is a spiritual director in Southern California. He is a recovering assistant district attorney and associate university professor, and is a lay Oblate with New Camaldoli Hermitage near Big Sur, California. Greg’s website is StrategicMonk.com and his email address is [email protected].

Blog

Sacred Stillness

Previous Post

October 12, 2021

Practices From the Inside Out: Spiritual Life is Not For Sale

Next Post

October 28, 2021 Spiritual Direction: When Whatever We See Makes Us Afraid

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Blog Book Reviews Everything Else Guest Posts Leadership Monastic Strategies Neighborhood Pilgrimages Sacred Stillness Spiritual Direction Spiritual Practices Work

Select a Month May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which tribe of Israel did NOT receive a land inheritance?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Benjamin Gad Judah Levi