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On Loaves, on Fish, on Grief, on Healing

On Loaves, on Fish, on Grief, on Healing

Last updated on: August 6, 2026 at 12:34 pm by Mary Pezzulo

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On Loaves, on Fish, on Grief, on Healing 2026-08-06T12:34:56-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

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loaves and fish, next to an open Bible

And then the great miracle took place: the food was more than enough. Everybody had plenty to eat, so much so that they started dropping fragments of food on the ground. | Image via Pixabay

A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Matthew:

When Jesus heard of the death of John the Baptist,
he withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself.
The crowds heard of this and followed him on foot from their towns.
When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd,
his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick.
When it was evening, the disciples approached him and said,
“This is a deserted place and it is already late;
dismiss the crowds so that they can go to the villages
and buy food for themselves.”
Jesus said to them, “There is no need for them to go away;
give them some food yourselves.”
But they said to him,
“Five loaves and two fish are all we have here.”
Then he said, “Bring them here to me,”
and he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass.
Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven,
he said the blessing, broke the loaves,
and gave them to the disciples,
who in turn gave them to the crowds.
They all ate and were satisfied,
and they picked up the fragments left over—
twelve wicker baskets full.
Those who ate were about five thousand men,
not counting women and children.

All Jesus wanted was some time to himself.

You can well imagine why. John the Baptist was dead. John was Jesus’s first cousin, six months older. He was the son of Elizabeth, the only person on Earth who had really understood Jesus’s mother. John himself was the only man on Earth who came close to understanding who Jesus really was. Herod Antipas was the son of the man who tried to murder Jesus when Jesus was an infant. The older Herod was afraid that somebody other than Herod and Herod Antipas would rule Judea, so Jesus had been carried away in the night and spent his toddler years in hiding. Now, thirty years later, Herod Antipas had murdered John in the most petty and humiliating way, to please guests at a dinner party. Jesus was overwhelmed with the trauma. He took a boat to an isolated place, to grieve.

Of course, that’s not something very easy to pull off when you are a miracle worker. The people heard where Jesus had gone, and they followed. And they weren’t coming to offer their condolences. They needed help.

Jesus looked up and saw the vast crowd stampeding into his quiet, isolated place. He would have been justified in turning around and running away. You could have forgiven him for yelling as he ran, “Can’t you people think of anyone other than yourselves?” But Jesus took a different approach. Jesus was moved with compassion.

This is one challenge of the Gospel: not that we shouldn’t grieve, but that even in our grief, we also keep remembering our neighbors.

Can you imagine what it would feel like for your heart to be moved with compassion for a whole crowd of people, when your heart was already broken with grief? That’s how Jesus felt. And then he acted on it.

Jesus walked among the crowd and cured their sick. That’s what he did with his whole day, when he was hoping for a little time alone. He listened to the problems of about five thousand men, not counting the women and children who were used to not being counted for anything, and healed them, and was there for them. When it was evening, the apostles told Jesus to take a break and send the crowds to go buy dinner. But Jesus didn’t want to take a break. “Give them some food yourselves.”

This is another challenge of the Gospel: not only that we have to find a way to be moved with compassion for others alongside our own trouble and grief. But also that it’s not enough to diagnose a problem correctly and suggest that hungry people get food. We also have to try and meet their need.

The apostles balked. “Five loaves and two fishes is all we have here.” That’s all they had, and it wasn’t even enough for twelve Apostles plus Jesus to have a dinner. Now Jesus, who had gone away to be alone with His grief and ended up spending the whole day helping others, was insisting they use that dinner to somehow feed thousands of strangers. This wouldn’t only leave the Apostles hungry. It would leave the entire crowd hungry, and they weren’t looking forward to that.

“Bring them here to me,” said Jesus.

Surely his dear friends thought Jesus must be losing his mind. He certainly was under a lot of stress. But they brought the loaves and the fishes, because he asked. Jesus looked to His Father and said the blessing, and passed the food to the apostles, who passed it around. And then the great miracle took place: the food was more than enough. Everybody had plenty to eat, so much so that they started dropping fragments of food on the ground.

The Apostles went from being waiters to being busboys. They carefully picked up every single fragment, and there were twelve baskets full: enough for a great big dinner for all twelve of them, each getting much more than the small loaves and fish they’d started with.

This, too, is a challenge of the Gospel: God wants us to live this generous life, because it’s actually better for us. Not only for the people we serve, but for us. When we take time for our grief and our trauma, but also allow ourselves to be moved with compassion for others, we can find healing. When we try and get some solace for ourselves, but also help and comfort the people around us, we are happier. And when we share what little we have, we can end up having more than we thought.

Whoever has ears, let them hear.

Mary Pezzulo is the author of Meditations on the Way of the Cross, The Sorrows an d Joys of Mary, and Stumbling into Grace: How We Meet God in Tiny Works of Mercy.

Steel Magnificat operates almost entirely on tips. To tip the author, donate to “The Little Portion” on paypal or Mary Pezzulo on venmo

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