Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
There Have Always Been Two Churches

There Have Always Been Two Churches

Last updated on: July 25, 2026 at 11:59 pm by Mary Pezzulo

0 Comments

There Have Always Been Two Churches 2026-07-25T23:59:22-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

a dirt path diverging into two roads

image via Pixabay

Sometimes I feel so well that I forget that I’m not.

It was just another day. That’s the way days are now. I used to feel terrible, most of the time, but the past few years have been relatively happy and uneventful. I’ve been at peace with myself, more often than not. I was at peace yesterday. I puttered in the garden and played with the cat and the guinea pig. And then I made the mistake of getting online.

I saw that a new Catholic outfit downtown had bought the old Masonic temple. They published some utterly ridiculous plan to turn the place into a shrine, complete with performing an exorcism and putting in a “high-end restaurant,” all for just four million dollars in donations if you please. The AI mock-up of what the building was supposed to look like included a gigantic and grim-looking gaudy statue of the Virgin Mary.

This town has so little money that all three of our homeless shelters had to close, and only one of them has managed to open under new management. I’ve personally witnessed and told you the stories of the abject poverty some families face here. And they want another temple to the Virgin Mary, with a gourmet restaurant.

There came the shudder– a shock wave of religious trauma, gripping my body.

Freemasons, along with witches and LGBTQ people, were a cabal I was supposed to be terrified of in childhood. The Charismatic Renewal was petrified of the Freemasons. I was given to understand that they worship the devil and put curses on people. My grandfather, not the pleasant lapsed Catholic but the Methodist one who was a gambler and a cad, had joined the Freemasons in order to hobnob with rich men and get clients, and my mother told us from my earliest days that we had to pray hard for him to repent so he wouldn’t go to hell. When I first came to Steubenville, I would nervously say a Hail Mary every time I walked past the building, because I was afraid of becoming possessed. But right at that moment, I wasn’t at all afraid of the Freemasons. I was terrified of the Virgin Mary.

I don’t know whether Freemasons are really an evil cabal or not. I just know that a Freemason could never destroy me as thoroughly as the Charismatic Renewal of the Catholic Church has.

If you’ve never been in a cult and never been spiritually abused, I can’t explain how deeply gutting it is when an image that most people associate with comfort makes you panic. It’s not just an emotion in the brain. It’s a shudder that starts in my left side where the horrific, abusive con artist claiming to be a qualified midwife touched me during Adrienne’s nearly deadly childbirth as I begged the Virgin Mary to let me die. Then it twists up and down the inside of my gut like the bowel obstruction that nearly killed me before I moved to Steubenville, when I cried to the nurse that I had to wear my scapular in surgery or I might go to hell. Then it crashes over my entire body like a tidal wave of ice water, and leaves me in shock all day. All I could think of was Father Scanlan clutching me to his chest during deliverance prayer and giving me that odd kiss. I thought of how safe and happy I felt at the time, because such a holy man loved me so much, and how foolish and ugly I felt as his reputation unraveled.

It happened to be the day of our workout at the rec center, so I drove Adrienne across the river, feeling like my soul was somewhere outside the car in the cables of the Veterans’ Memorial Bridge. I did my reps in the weight room, with my soul pulling the strings on my body like a marionette. I jumped in the pool and felt laps, with my body feeling pleasantly cool, and my soul wishing it could be comfortable in my body.

If I could only stop believing in Christ, I would probably be happy.

If I could only believe in Christ, but go back to being as naive and silly as I was when I first came to Steubenville twenty years ago, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt as much as this. If I could just be that ridiculous girl who prayed in tongues and doused herself with holy water and was afraid of Freemasons rather than a statue of the Virgin Mary. But then again, it was that silly naivete that brought me all the trauma that happened between then and now.

There is a truth I’ve learned, and it’s a painful truth: there are, and have always been, two Churches.

There are two things calling themselves Christianity, and the distinction between them has nothing to do with your denomination. There is set before you life and death, blessing and curse, sacrament and superstition, costly grace and cheap grace, true worship and idolatry, but both of these things are called “Christianity.” There is a path to hell and a path to Heaven. They are both lined with sanctuaries and Bible verses and cheap tacky prayer cards. Some of the conductors on the road to hell are wearing miters and Roman collars. Some of the hands that commit unspeakable crimes are consecrated with Sacred Chrism. Some of the most despicable sinners are hailed in their own time as saints. And you can’t necessarily know who the saints are.

There are two paths, and both look like a religion. One will lead you to the poor and one will lead you to a golden idol. One is the terrible, traumatic, inconvenient and mysterious path that involves living your life. The other is a set of rules about who to hate, and how to perform an exorcism.

It is your vocation to follow Christ. That is your Christianity. All of this other nonsense is idolatry. But I can’t tell you exactly how your Christianity will look. Mine has looked terrible.

My Christianity brought me to Steubenville, thinking I’d find community and faith at Franciscan University, and I lost more than I could ever express. But I have found the other Christianity here as well.

I am not all right and I don’t think I ever will be. But I’m better, and I will be better yet before long.

Mary Pezzulo is the author of Meditations on the Way of the Cross, The Sorrows an d Joys of Mary, and Stumbling into Grace: How We Meet God in Tiny Works of Mercy.

Steel Magnificat operates almost entirely on tips. To tip the author, donate to “The Little Portion” on paypal or Mary Pezzulo on venmo

American Christianity

Previous Post

July 24, 2026

How Does A Seed Grow? How Does the Kingdom of Heaven?

Next Post

July 28, 2026 Wild Grapes, Wild Poison

Recent Comments

0 | Leave a Comment

"You're talking about supercessionism, the idea that Christians "replace" the covenant that the Jewish people ..."

Alex

Yes, the Old Testament is About ..."

"Oh I'm sure it did."

Mary

A Televised Execution is a Moral, ..."

"For what its worth, it seems like the whole thing originated from Pete Hegsith speaking ..."

Evil-Striker

A Televised Execution is a Moral, ..."

"You may be right. A war and its aftermath are different than day-to-day governance. Still, ..."

Mary

On Traditionalist Bullies, and the Death ..."

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion Abuse Advent America American Christianity angel angels Annunciation Appalachia apparition apparition chaser apparition chasers apparition culture art art review babies baby baby Jesus Bad Lip Reading bad statue contest bath beauty Bible story blog blogkeeping blood book review Brandon Sanderson breastfeeding bus Catholic catholic conspiracy alarmism Catholic Oppositional Disorder Charismatic Renewal Charlie the Cat chastity Christ Christian idenitity Christianity and Judaism Chronic Illness clean clothing COD piece comedy compassion conscience conspiracy theory conversion cop-on-black violence Crucifixion cry of the poor culture Daesh Daily Saints death death penalty devotional diaconate diaper diapers dirty disability Donald Trump Dorothy Day dream drugs Eastern Catholicism Eastern Christianity education election election update Elsewhere on Patheos empathy environment Fear feminism film review fish flashback fluffy buns food Franciscan University of Steubenville Friendship Room fun Gabriel gardening gospel hair-splitting Heaven hell heresy Hillary Clinton history Holly the Witch Holy Spirit holy war Homeschooling homosexuality horror human dignity humor Icon idol immigrants infection inter-religious dialogue Interpretation of Scripture Islam Jesus Jihad Joseph joy laity and lay vocations lamb dinner laundry lent lgbtq literature love manners Mary Medicine and Science Meditation mercy mess milk misogyny Missouri monasticism monster motherhood mourn with those mourn movies movis music mystery nature neurodiversity New Pro-Life Movement news nonsense nostalgia O antiphons obituary objectification Ohio Valley Ordinary Time ordination Ordo Amoris parable paradox Passover peanut butter personal beliefs pets philosophy Planet Charismatic poetry politics polls poop Pope Francis Pope Leo power in the Church prayer prayer request prayers preferential option for non-violence president presidential election priest primary private revelation pro-life prophecy Public face of Catholicism Pure Flix Q and A race racism random rape rape. sexuality reader's request Reckoners refugee religious trauma ressurrection Right to life Saints saints and celebrations same-sex same-sex marriage satire scandal secular feasts seder Seven Joys Seven Last Words sex sexual ethics sexuality silencing six months skid row slavery social justice Speculative fiction spiritual abuse spoon stain story suffering suffrage suffragette Sunday Gospel temple Tenebrae Responsories Terror the exorcist The Friendship Room The New Pro-Life Movement Things I Learned on the Internet tin cup traffic true story tv review Uncategorized USCCB vice and temptation violence Virtue virtue and vice war Way of the Cross whimsy whole life women's ordination work of mercy Year A

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Where did Elisha cure Naaman?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Mediterranean Sea Sea of Galilee Dead Sea Jordan River