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To Worship, And Doubt

To Worship, And Doubt

Last updated on: May 19, 2026 at 11:26 pm by Mary Pezzulo

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To Worship, And Doubt 2026-05-19T23:26:00-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

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A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Matthew:

The eleven disciples went to Galilee,
to the mountain to which Jesus had ordered them.
When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted.
Then Jesus approached and said to them,
“All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me.
Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.
And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

When the Disciples saw Jesus, they worshipped, but they doubted.

You’re allowed to do that, you know. In fact, you must. You will end up doing that, at some point during your journey. You will worship, but doubt. And when you doubt, Jesus will be with you.

Human beings doubt all the time. Doubting isn’t a good or a bad thing. It’s just a human thing. Humans doubt because we have reason, and when you reason about things, you consider whether or not you may be wrong. Doubting is part of coming to know. You hear someone assert that a thing is true, and then you question whether or not that person is right. Your doubt is one step in that process. Sometimes, your doubt is proven right, and sometimes it’s misplaced. But it isn’t a moral failing.

It’s the same in the spiritual life. You will often doubt, and wonder if what you’ve been told is right.

You will deconstruct and reconstruct your faith many times, and doubt is one step in the process. You can’t not do that. That is part of being a Christian. And it’s been this way from the beginning.

First the apostles doubted that the women who went to the tomb had really seen Jesus, because it sounded like nonsense, but Jesus didn’t abandon them. He came to them, appeared in their midst, and said, “Peace be with you.'” Then Saint Thomas doubted that the other ten apostles had seen Jesus, but Jesus didn’t punish him for that. He appeared, and showed him proof, and Thomas worshipped him.

Now, here are the disciples. They have returned to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus told Him to go. They obeyed Him and went. He approached them on the mountain, and they worshipped, but they doubted. Jesus came to them anyway, and what He said wasn’t a condemnation. “All power in Heaven and on Earth has been given to Me. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

He is also with you, until the end of the age.

In your life, there will be days when you feel absolutely certain of the truths you’ve come to know. All the world will seem to you to be alive with God’s grace, and you won’t remember why you ever doubted. But that’s not a state that can last forever. The time will come when everything you’ve come to believe, seems like nonsense. Some of what you thought you knew will prove to really BE nonsense, but some of what you thought will prove to be true. You will change and change again. And God will be with you, to the end of the age.

You will go where you thought God wanted you to go, and when you get there, you’ll doubt you were right. This is normal. Jesus will approach you and dwell in your midst, but you won’t always see Him. You will try to carry out what you think He wants, and sometimes you’ll be right and sometimes you’ll be wrong. Sometimes you’ll be pleased with yourself and sometimes you’ll worry that you accomplished nothing, and only God will know the fruit of what you’ve done. But He will be with you, until the end of the age.

That is the spiritual life.

There isn’t another spiritual life out there that you could have if only you were a better person. There’s just this one, in the life you’re living now. The one where you worship, and doubt.

Doubt is normal.

You are still able to worship God and follow as you ought, while you doubt. So you never have to be afraid of doubt.

God is with you in your doubt.

He is with you until the end of the age.

Mary Pezzulo is the author of Meditations on the Way of the Cross, The Sorrows an d Joys of Mary, and Stumbling into Grace: How We Meet God in Tiny Works of Mercy.

Steel Magnificat operates almost entirely on tips. To tip the author, donate to “The Little Portion” on paypal or Mary Pezzulo on venmo

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