Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
Food and Religion
That God Godself is Here

That God Godself is Here

Last updated on: July 19, 2024 at 2:34 am by Mary Pezzulo

0 Comments

That God Godself is Here 2024-07-19T02:34:45-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

my backyard sunflowers in red, yellow, and orange

image by Mary Pezzulo

It hasn’t been the best of summers.

Sometimes things get worse before they get better, and sometimes they just get worse. I never know which it is until after the situation is over.

I tried a new probiotic pill to see if it would help heal up the embarrassing remaining symptoms that I was having– hopefully from the antibiotics I took to treat the colitis and not from the colitis. I couldn’t afford to have colitis any more. I don’t think any of us but Adrienne will have insurance by the end of the summer. But in any case, the probiotic was the wrong idea. It gave me terrible indigestion. And then I made it all worse. We had a jar of those old herbal vitamins from the irritating California herbalist’s catalog in the house, the kind I used to take for my chronic fatigue before I received a proper diagnosis. They were good for giving me a bit of pep. They are not good for someone who’s been struggling with serious gut issues for two months. They’ve got a big shot of habanero and cayenne to boost circulation.

The pain was so bad, I thought I would end up in the hospital again.

I could eat nothing but vanilla pudding and bananas for two days straight. That, in turn, threw me out of ketosis, which is the only way I control my poly-cystic ovary syndrome, so I stayed in bed exhausted for days straight. I could barely venture out into the garden to check on the tomatoes, which is when I found out that a groundhog had been there.

I’ve mentioned that there were groundhogs in the neighborhood. Last year, they stayed away. About a week ago, I saw one waddling through the yard of the haunted house next door, and thought of how my stalker who used to live there vandalized my garden and then blamed it on a groundhog– as if a groundhog could cut off the heads of sunflowers and throw bean poles like javelins. And I pretended that the groundhog was my neighbor, reincarnated, doing penance for her crimes, and laughed.

I was not laughing just now. The furry penitent had taken big bites out of two bright green Stripeys and smashed three nearly ripe Stripeys to bits. A Stripey tomato is an heirloom tomato. It takes an agonizingly long time to get ripe. Those relatively flavorless Roma tomatoes would be ready for the sauce pot in a day or two, but I’d have to wait a long time for more Stripeys to eat raw. Even though I couldn’t eat a tomato with my bowels so sensitive. Even though the mere thought of a tomato was making me sick. But the destruction made me sicker.

I couldn’t afford a groundhog trap– or a crossbow or a fancy Medieval battleax, which was what I wanted just about then. I was still, for the second or third month in a row, behind on rent, and the landlord was being patient with me making it up before the end of the month for the third time. It’s impossible to write as fast as I need to when I’ve been sick for two months. Everything’s slipping behind. And anyway, I couldn’t drive out to Rural King to buy a trap with the car still on the fritz for going on a month now. A whole month of northern Appalachian heat waves without the lake or the waterfall or even the pool. I’m too exhausted to walk all that way. What a perfectly horrid summer.

I went inside and complained on social media.

Immediately, neighbors who live in the neighborhood advised that animal control would bring me a trap, and a neighbor who raises cattle outside of town offered to lend me his humane trap for free. I remembered why I’m coming to like it here in Steubenville.

At some point in all of this, while I was napping, Jimmy came to the door. When I met him later, he said that he’d gone ahead and ordered us the part that will probably fix the fuel pump to the car– he was going to rent the fuel pump tester first, but replacing it would be cheaper than testing it. It’ll be here by Tuesday at the latest. We can pay him back for the part whenever we’re able. He’s only sorry it’s taken this long and I’ve been trapped at home.

At another point I went out and borrowed the hose from the next door neighbor and his wife. They must’ve come in while I was watering with the bucket brigade, because the next morning, the hose was carefully hung on my side of their fence, and the neighbor himself made sure to tell me I was welcome to use it.

a bright yellow sunflower about eight feet tall, by the side of my house

image by Mary Pezzulo

I was so exhausted, I could barely get the hose turned on before I needed to catch my breath. I ended up setting it down and let it dribble water all over the ground among my tomato cages for five minutes. Then setting it down again in the summer squash. Then again in the pumpkins. Each time, stopping to catch my breath as if I were running a marathon.

Bees browsed among those giant sunflowers, taller than the kind neighbors’ fence. Some of the Autumn Beauties are over seven feet tall, with new red and gold blossoms unfolding like fans every morning. The great big Mammoth Gray Stripe growing out of the compost is nine feet tall, though it drooped over when it finally opened its one great flower. The other Mammoths are taller, ten and eleven feet. I think one of them is fourteen feet, but I won’t know until I cut it down after it’s quite dead, to save the seeds for next year. And I did somehow get one glorious Velvet Queen, a short one, only as tall as I am, which is unfolding in black buds that go a warm deep red with time.

Potatoes were blossoming with little white stars.

Tiny green knobs were forming on the pumpkin.

That red rose I bought on a whim was sending out new leaves.

Birds were singing.

The sky overhead was bright and blue as a Northern Appalachian sky could ever be.

No, it’s not a rotten summer.

Jimmy will finish fixing the car by August. We’ll have an abbreviated summer, a few weeks of swimming together, and then Adrienne will start the seventh grade at her school that she fiercely loves with all her new wonderful friends, and I can swim by myself at the lake until September. Then it will be time for the glorious fall color to start. I will drive the Baker Street Irregulars to their lessons and watch all the children grow up.

Meanwhile, I’m in a place that I like, groundhog and all.

I can get away from here to places I love– and, here has also become a place that I love. Both are real.

a bright yellow sunflower with a dark center, with other sunflowers visible behind

image by Mary Pezzulo

It all rushed over me just then– a little bit longer and I could get away from here to someplace I like. And also, I could like the place where I was.

That getting away is something I can do, and that I can be happy where I am.

That Heaven is something which is coming to meet me, and that it is also something that is welling up right where I am. That God Godself is something you are welcome and able to journey for eternity to find, but that God is also here.

It only lasted a moment, and then I went back to being miserable. But I listened.

It hasn’t been such a terrible summer.

Mary Pezzulo is the author of Meditations on the Way of the Cross, The Sorrows an d Joys of Mary, and Stumbling into Grace: How We Meet God in Tiny Works of Mercy.

Steel Magnificat operates almost entirely on tips. To tip the author, visit our donate page.

Food and Religion

Home and Religion

Previous Post

July 16, 2024

Another Word on Saturday's Assassination Attempt

Next Post

July 22, 2024 A Personality Cult versus a Political Party

Recent Comments

0 | Leave a Comment

"Thank you for bringing so much goodness into the lives of so many children.Ran across ..."

alwayspuzzled

The Passion of the Red Oak

"This current administration has had me reflecting on the Nuremberg trials and the like, for ..."

axelbeingcivil

On Traditionalist Bullies, and the Death ..."

"You're talking about supercessionism, the idea that Christians "replace" the covenant that the Jewish people ..."

Alex

Yes, the Old Testament is About ..."

"Oh I'm sure it did."

Mary

A Televised Execution is a Moral, ..."

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion Abuse Advent America American Christianity angel angels Annunciation Appalachia apparition apparition chaser apparition chasers apparition culture art art review babies baby baby Jesus Bad Lip Reading bad statue contest bath beauty Bible story blog blogkeeping blood book review Brandon Sanderson breastfeeding bus Catholic catholic conspiracy alarmism Catholic Oppositional Disorder Charismatic Renewal Charlie the Cat chastity Christ Christian idenitity Christianity and Judaism Chronic Illness clean clothing COD piece comedy compassion conscience conspiracy theory conversion cop-on-black violence Crucifixion cry of the poor culture Daesh Daily Saints death death penalty devotional diaconate diaper diapers dirty disability Donald Trump Dorothy Day dream drugs Eastern Catholicism Eastern Christianity education election election update Elsewhere on Patheos empathy environment Fear feminism film review fish flashback fluffy buns food Franciscan University of Steubenville Friendship Room fun Gabriel gardening gospel hair-splitting Heaven hell heresy Hillary Clinton history Holly the Witch Holy Spirit holy war Homeschooling homosexuality horror human dignity humor Icon idol immigrants infection inter-religious dialogue Interpretation of Scripture Islam Jesus Jihad Joseph joy laity and lay vocations lamb dinner laundry lent lgbtq literature love manners Mary Medicine and Science Meditation mercy mess milk misogyny Missouri monasticism monster motherhood mourn with those mourn movies movis music mystery nature neurodiversity New Pro-Life Movement news nonsense nostalgia O antiphons obituary objectification Ohio Valley Ordinary Time ordination Ordo Amoris parable paradox Passover peanut butter personal beliefs pets philosophy Planet Charismatic poetry politics polls poop Pope Francis Pope Leo power in the Church prayer prayer request prayers preferential option for non-violence president presidential election priest primary private revelation pro-life prophecy Public face of Catholicism Pure Flix Q and A race racism random rape rape. sexuality reader's request Reckoners refugee religious trauma ressurrection Right to life Saints saints and celebrations same-sex same-sex marriage satire scandal secular feasts seder Seven Joys Seven Last Words sex sexual ethics sexuality silencing six months skid row slavery social justice Speculative fiction spiritual abuse spoon stain story suffering suffrage suffragette Sunday Gospel temple Tenebrae Responsories Terror the exorcist The Friendship Room The New Pro-Life Movement Things I Learned on the Internet tin cup traffic true story tv review Uncategorized USCCB vice and temptation violence Virtue virtue and vice war Way of the Cross whimsy whole life women's ordination work of mercy Year A

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What is the teaching about honoring parents?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Honor your father and mother Ignore advice Leave home early Disobey