Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
Family, Parenting and Religion
A Bag of Teddy Bears

A Bag of Teddy Bears

Last updated on: April 24, 2023 at 11:32 pm by Mary Pezzulo

0 Comments

A Bag of Teddy Bears 2023-04-24T23:32:00-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

teddy bears

image via Pixabay

Adrienne brought me a bag of stuffed animals.

She is eleven and a half now, an age for change. She is going to middle school this fall. Right now, she spends most of her spare time in her room, listening to her favorite streamers play and review video games. While she was listening this afternoon, she cleaned and organized her old toys. Some of her stuffed animals she kept for decorations, but these were the also-rans, the less important ones. They were for me to take to the thrift store.

I looked through the bag myself.

Adrienne had at least fifty stuffed animals. She populated a small paracosm with them and used them to reenact Beverly Cleary stories, before she switched to a more complicated world with her action figures in the dollhouse. These were extras in her teddy bear world, not the main characters. There was a stuffed rabbit that never had a name. There was a stuffed bear she never liked, because it didn’t have proper glass eyes but felt ovals sewn on in a perpetual squint. There was the annoying bear with the fur that was itchy rather than soft. None of them were terribly memorable, except for the panda at the bottom.

The panda was important.

When Adrienne was a toddler, I would take her on the bus to the grocery store. We went to the store more than once a week because we had to drag the groceries home, a block from the bus stop, so we couldn’t get too many things at a time. I would swipe the food stamp card for an apple or another small treat for her to eat, and she’d sit in the shopping cart, munching and chatting with me. We’d go up and down the aisle saying the names of things. When we got to the toy aisle, she’d beg for a present, and I’d wag my finger and remind her of the rule. “One hug, and put it back.”

And Adrienne would give the doll or the stuffed animal or the fire truck one hug, say goodbye, and put it back.

In the evening after our shopping, she would ask for videos: usually she started with Old Bear or Paddington Bear on Youtube or Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood on Amazon Prime. But just before bed, when the longer video was done, she’d demand a video of panda bears. Panda bears were her favorite animal. She couldn’t sleep until I turned on the computer and searched for short videos of baby pandas playing in a sanctuary in China. She liked the one where they rolled in the leaves a patient zookeeper was raking, and the one where they rocked on a rocking horse just like human babies did.

As it got closer to Christmas, our routine got more exciting. The grocery store filled with beautiful things. We took an extra long time shopping because Adrienne had to examine every single Christmas decoration and greet every single toy. She found and fell in love with a display of stuffed panda bears with red ribbons around their necks. I reminded her of the rules: the panda can’t come home, but you can give it one hug. And she always gave the panda one hug, said goodbye, and put it back. Then we’d go home to watch videos of pandas.

As it got closer and closer to Christmas, the stuffed animal display dwindled, but there was always a panda to hug.

Finally, it was Christmas eve. We walked all the way out to the church for the children’s vigil Mass, with Adrienne in the stroller, a puffy coat layered over her red overalls. On the way home, we stopped at the grocery store and counted out our money to buy a tiny chicken and potatoes for Christmas dinner. We had a little extra.

There was one panda left. Adrienne hugged him and put him back on the shelf.

As soon as I pushed the shopping cart away, Michael silently snatched the bear as if he was going to shoplift it. Then he tiptoed to the self-checkout and paid for it while I took Adrienne to look at the toy cars.

He kept the bear hidden inside his coat on the chilly walk home.

That night I stayed up late, wrapping the box of thrift store toys and board books we’d gotten and arranging it under the tiny tabletop Christmas tree with a stocking full of candy,

Next morning, I went and got her out of bed. “It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas! Do you want to see if Santa Claus came?”

Adrienne toddled out of the bedroom in her diaper.

Her face lit up when she saw the tree. “I can have PANDA? I can have PANDA? I can have PANDA?”

“Yes!” I cried, tears starting in my eyes. “You can have Panda. Panda is yours now. Panda is here to stay.”

That was about ten years ago.

“You don’t remember Panda?” I asked my eleven-year-old daughter, taking the bear from the bottom of the bag. He was battered and a little misshapen from being at the bottom of the toybox. The white patches of his fur had gone gray, and the ribbon was squashed.

“No.” Adrienne went back to cleaning her room.

But I remember Panda.

I put him on the nightstand next to my bed.

He’s been there ever since.

Mary Pezzulo is the author of Meditations on the Way of the Cross, The Sorrows an d Joys of Mary, and Stumbling into Grace: How We Meet God in Tiny Works of Mercy.

Steel Magnificat operates almost entirely on tips. To tip the author, visit our donate page.

Family, Parenting and Religion

Previous Post

April 21, 2023

In the Lilac Time of Year

Next Post

April 26, 2023 Sunday on Emmaus Road

Recent Comments

0 | Leave a Comment

"Thank you for bringing so much goodness into the lives of so many children.Ran across ..."

alwayspuzzled

The Passion of the Red Oak

"This current administration has had me reflecting on the Nuremberg trials and the like, for ..."

axelbeingcivil

On Traditionalist Bullies, and the Death ..."

"You're talking about supercessionism, the idea that Christians "replace" the covenant that the Jewish people ..."

Alex

Yes, the Old Testament is About ..."

"Oh I'm sure it did."

Mary

A Televised Execution is a Moral, ..."

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion Abuse Advent America American Christianity angel angels Annunciation Appalachia apparition apparition chaser apparition chasers apparition culture art art review babies baby baby Jesus Bad Lip Reading bad statue contest bath beauty Bible story blog blogkeeping blood book review Brandon Sanderson breastfeeding bus Catholic catholic conspiracy alarmism Catholic Oppositional Disorder Charismatic Renewal Charlie the Cat chastity Christ Christian idenitity Christianity and Judaism Chronic Illness clean clothing COD piece comedy compassion conscience conspiracy theory conversion cop-on-black violence Crucifixion cry of the poor culture Daesh Daily Saints death death penalty devotional diaconate diaper diapers dirty disability Donald Trump Dorothy Day dream drugs Eastern Catholicism Eastern Christianity education election election update Elsewhere on Patheos empathy environment Fear feminism film review fish flashback fluffy buns food Franciscan University of Steubenville Friendship Room fun Gabriel gardening gospel hair-splitting Heaven hell heresy Hillary Clinton history Holly the Witch Holy Spirit holy war Homeschooling homosexuality horror human dignity humor Icon idol immigrants infection inter-religious dialogue Interpretation of Scripture Islam Jesus Jihad Joseph joy laity and lay vocations lamb dinner laundry lent lgbtq literature love manners Mary Medicine and Science Meditation mercy mess milk misogyny Missouri monasticism monster motherhood mourn with those mourn movies movis music mystery nature neurodiversity New Pro-Life Movement news nonsense nostalgia O antiphons obituary objectification Ohio Valley Ordinary Time ordination Ordo Amoris parable paradox Passover peanut butter personal beliefs pets philosophy Planet Charismatic poetry politics polls poop Pope Francis Pope Leo power in the Church prayer prayer request prayers preferential option for non-violence president presidential election priest primary private revelation pro-life prophecy Public face of Catholicism Pure Flix Q and A race racism random rape rape. sexuality reader's request Reckoners refugee religious trauma ressurrection Right to life Saints saints and celebrations same-sex same-sex marriage satire scandal secular feasts seder Seven Joys Seven Last Words sex sexual ethics sexuality silencing six months skid row slavery social justice Speculative fiction spiritual abuse spoon stain story suffering suffrage suffragette Sunday Gospel temple Tenebrae Responsories Terror the exorcist The Friendship Room The New Pro-Life Movement Things I Learned on the Internet tin cup traffic true story tv review Uncategorized USCCB vice and temptation violence Virtue virtue and vice war Way of the Cross whimsy whole life women's ordination work of mercy Year A

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which Genesis figure "walked with God and was no more, for God took him"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Enoch Seth Lamech Abraham