Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
Women in Religion
A Drive At The End Of An Era

A Drive At The End Of An Era

Last updated on: September 9, 2022 at 2:24 am by Mary Pezzulo

A Drive At The End Of An Era 2022-09-09T02:24:40-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I went to run errands with Adrienne.

It was the Nativity of the Virgin Mary, a feast I’ve never known how to celebrate even in good years– and especially not this year when I am permitting myself to question everything. The people who hurt me most in all the world have been devoted to the Virgin Mary. I never know what to say to her. I didn’t know what to say today either.

The stalking neighbor who harassed us for seven years, and who miraculously has not bothered us since June, emerged from her house to mow her lawn. Mowing the lawn is her favorite chore. She used to mow the lawn every three days, stimming back and forth across the small yard again and again for hours, spending an extra long time under our windows muttering threats. After that she’d run across the street to talk to our other neighbors and stand there waving and ranting across from my door for another hour, so that if I had to go anywhere I would need to flee out the side door and run up the alley. Now, she only mows once a week. She finishes the job quickly and runs inside, and she doesn’t yell or threaten under the window.

Still, just hearing the mower nauseates me.

I waited until she was done mowing to take Adrienne out to the car’s hiding place, where we’ve kept it for a year so the neighbor will think we don’t have one. The last time I tried to park on my own block, she slashed the tires and the police expected me to come up with my own witness. And that was why I was sitting at home, waiting around, when I saw that the Queen of England had died. And I felt a touch of vertigo.

All I could think was that when I was a little girl, I read books and watch television from England from a generation ago, and it always struck me as odd that the person the old-fashioned people were referring to as “the queen” was the same queen who currently lived there. And when I read Adrienne the same books and showed her the same television, I told her that “the queen” was still the same queen, the longest reigning monarch in British history. And now that queen is gone. There’s a king in England. If I have any other children, or if I have any grandchildren, they will enjoy the same books and television, but for them “the queen” will be someone who is in the past. This is what is meant by the end of an era.

All of those thoughts and then some were jumbling in my mind as I finally took Adrienne to run our errands: the Queen whose birthday it was, the queen who had just died, the madwoman next door, my daughter’s eleventh birthday in less than two weeks, the family of angry aunts I’d never see again, what I would do if one of them tried to write to Adrienne on her birthday. A crowd of women from all walks of life, jostling for my attention.

We went downtown to the post office to have the mail held, because tomorrow we are going out of town to dog sit for a friend. Then we went up town to get bottled water for our trip, and with the last of the day’s money we took the Neighborhood Trolley for a bath at the car wash. As we went we talked about the day’s news.

“I saw the queen on television when I was your age,” I said. “My mother liked to read about the royal family and when Princess Diana died– that was King Charles’s first wife and they got divorced, it was a scandal, princes aren’t supposed to get divorced– anyway, she died in a car crash, and everyone watched her funeral all over the world. And my mother made us watch it. She said it was history that we’d remember the rest of our lives. And then the queen got on television and gave a live speech. Even though they hated Diana.”

Adrienne opined that that was a nice thing to do.

I didn’t add that even at twelve years old, I thought the queen looked cold and angry to be giving the speech. I didn’t know the half of it.

I didn’t add that that night, my mother let us watch a documentary about Princess Diana because she said it was a history lesson. I watched as Diana gave speeches and waked around in beautiful dresses, looking royal. I watched her talk with Mother Teresa, who herself had died the day before. I watched her walk into an AIDS hospice and shake hands with a man in a wheelchair.

My mother had told us that AIDS crossed the species barrier because of the licentiousness of gay people, and that it was a disease for gay people. I can’t even describe how much everyone I knew hated LGBTQ people. They were the enemy of all that was good and decent. Meanwhile I was madly in love with my best friend Julia, but didn’t have words to say what I felt. I had never seen an out of the closet LGBTQ person before. So when Princess Diana shook hands with the AIDS victim on the video, my first childish thought was, “Wow, gay people are pale.”

I’ve often wished I could thank her for that: for being the very first person to let the cat out of the bag to me that LGBTQ people are human.

I am told that the queen told Diana to stop drawing attention to AIDS victims, but to talk about “Something more pleasant.”

I wonder, if I happen to die before my mother and grandmother do, if they’ll look as cold as the queen did and try to say something nice.

That was the memory that played again and again in my mind, as I drove my daughter up and down town on errands at the end of an era. Not really a memory of the person who had died, but memory occasioned by it.

That’s what I’m thinking of right now.

image via Pixabay

Mary Pezzulo is the author of Meditations on the Way of the Cross, The Sorrows and Joys of Mary, and Stumbling into Grace: How We Meet God in Tiny Works of Mercy.

Steel Magnificat operates almost entirely on tips. To tip the author, visit our donate page.

Women in Religion

Previous Post

September 6, 2022

A Musical Interlude

Next Post

September 11, 2022 I Will Rise Up

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion Abuse Advent America American Christianity angel angels Annunciation Appalachia apparition apparition chaser apparition chasers apparition culture art art review babies baby baby Jesus Bad Lip Reading bad statue contest bath beauty Bible story blog blogkeeping blood book review Brandon Sanderson breastfeeding bus Catholic catholic conspiracy alarmism Catholic Oppositional Disorder Charismatic Renewal Charlie the Cat chastity Christ Christian idenitity Christianity and Judaism Chronic Illness clean clothing COD piece comedy compassion conscience conspiracy theory conversion cop-on-black violence Crucifixion cry of the poor culture Daesh Daily Saints death death penalty devotional diaconate diaper diapers dirty disability Donald Trump Dorothy Day dream drugs Eastern Catholicism Eastern Christianity education election election update Elsewhere on Patheos empathy environment Fear feminism film review fish flashback fluffy buns food Franciscan University of Steubenville Friendship Room fun Gabriel gardening gospel hair-splitting Heaven hell heresy Hillary Clinton history Holly the Witch Holy Spirit holy war Homeschooling homosexuality horror human dignity humor Icon idol immigrants infection inter-religious dialogue Interpretation of Scripture Islam Jesus Jihad Joseph joy laity and lay vocations lamb dinner laundry lent lgbtq literature love manners Mary Medicine and Science Meditation mercy mess milk misogyny Missouri monasticism monster motherhood mourn with those mourn movies movis music mystery nature neurodiversity New Pro-Life Movement news nonsense nostalgia O antiphons obituary objectification Ohio Valley Ordinary Time ordination Ordo Amoris parable paradox Passover peanut butter personal beliefs pets philosophy Planet Charismatic poetry politics polls poop Pope Francis Pope Leo power in the Church prayer prayer request prayers preferential option for non-violence president presidential election priest primary private revelation pro-life prophecy Public face of Catholicism Pure Flix Q and A race racism random rape rape. sexuality reader's request Reckoners refugee religious trauma ressurrection Right to life Saints saints and celebrations same-sex same-sex marriage satire scandal secular feasts seder Seven Joys Seven Last Words sex sexual ethics sexuality silencing six months skid row slavery social justice Speculative fiction spiritual abuse spoon stain story suffering suffrage suffragette Sunday Gospel temple Tenebrae Responsories Terror the exorcist The Friendship Room The New Pro-Life Movement Things I Learned on the Internet tin cup traffic true story tv review Uncategorized USCCB vice and temptation violence Virtue virtue and vice war Way of the Cross whimsy whole life women's ordination work of mercy Year A

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which book of the Bible contains the Ten Plagues of Egypt?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Exodus Leviticus Deuteronomy Genesis