Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
We Didn’t Make You Sin

We Didn’t Make You Sin

Last updated on: February 10, 2022 at 1:59 pm by Mary Pezzulo

We Didn’t Make You Sin 2022-02-10T13:59:53-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

As we learned yesterday, the discourse on social media is about modesty again.

Specifically, it’s some pastor telling women that they’re responsible for making their brothers sin by dressing in the wrong way. So I’d like to go over a few basic facts about what sin is, and who is responsible for whose sin.

First of all, sin is a choice.

Sin cannot not be a choice. If you had no choice, then you’re not guilty of a sin.

If you do have a choice and you choose to do something that breaks a commandment and hurts yourself and others, you sin. But nothing someone else does can be your sin.

If a mad scientist implanted your brain with microchips that made you respond to a remote control, and then remote controlled your body into breaking into a bank vault and taking out the cash, you wouldn’t be a thief. The mad scientist would. You didn’t have a choice and they did.

If a giant picked you up by the ankles and used you as a bludgeon to hit somebody else, you would not be an assailant. The giant would. You didn’t choose to be used in that way and they did.

If a rapist rapes you, you’re not guilty of rape. Rape is always the rapist’s choice and the rapist’s fault.

And here’s something else: if you choose to look on another person with lust, that’s your fault. It’s always your fault. It’s not something someone else did to you.

It’s not your fault, nor is it a bad thing, if you notice that somebody is beautiful and attractive. People are beautiful. Bodies are attractive. We can thank God for that. And you haven’t done anything wrong if noticing a beautiful, attractive person makes you feel excited. You haven’t done anything wrong if you find yourself in a particularly racy situation and your organs start to feel funny. There’s nothing bad or sinful about feeling sensations in places that God designed to feel sensations. That’s just something that happens. None of those are sins.

But if you choose to objectify that person, that’s where sin comes in. And it’s your choice.

If you sit there and encourage yourself to think about that person as nothing but a sex object to make your organs feels tingly, that’s your choice. It’s not something they did to you. You did that. And what that person was wearing doesn’t determine whether you did or not. You can fantasize about a woman in a floor-length dress and mantilla. People often do.

If you meditate on that person’s beautiful body and what you’d like to do to it if only you dared, whether they wanted or not, until you feel dirty and like you have to go to confession, that’s your sin. It isn’t the body’s fault. You did that. And you should go to confession.

If, God forbid, you carry out your fantasies in the real world and do violence to that person, that is 100% your fault and your sin. Yours and nobody else’s.

If you rape or batter or sexually harass someone because of how you felt when you looked at them, that’s your sin.

If you humiliate someone and call them a slut because you’re uncomfortable with how their body made you feel, that’s your sin. If you’re a teacher and you embarrass a student because her uniform skirt was riding up a little above the knee, that’s your sin. If you’re a cleric and you embarrass someone in church because you thought the sleeves of her dress didn’t cover enough arm, that’s your sin. If you’re a youth minister and you teach young women to feel that they are stumbling blocks instead of human beings just because they have big breasts or a round rear end, that’s your sin. Yours and nobody else’s. You reduced a human to the body parts of theirs that you noticed and then blamed them for what somebody else might choose to do, and you hurt them for it.

If you use someone’s body as an excuse to hurt them, you’ve used their body as an excuse to hurt them, and that’s a sin. It’s something you chose to do. They didn’t do it by being immodest. You did it by being violent.

We didn’t make you do that.

Image via pixabay

Mary Pezzulo is the author of Meditations on the Way of the Cross and Stumbling into Grace: How We Meet God in Tiny Works of Mercy.
Steel Magnificat operates almost entirely on tips. To tip the author, visit our donate page.

sexual ethics

spiritual abuse

Previous Post

February 10, 2022

It Wasn't About Modest Attire

Next Post

February 10, 2022 Imagining a Beach in February

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion Abuse Advent America American Christianity angel angels Annunciation Appalachia apparition apparition chaser apparition chasers apparition culture art art review babies baby baby Jesus Bad Lip Reading bad statue contest bath beauty Bible story blog blogkeeping blood book review Brandon Sanderson breastfeeding bus Catholic catholic conspiracy alarmism Catholic Oppositional Disorder Charismatic Renewal Charlie the Cat chastity Christ Christian idenitity Christianity and Judaism Chronic Illness clean clothing COD piece comedy compassion conscience conspiracy theory conversion cop-on-black violence Crucifixion cry of the poor culture Daesh Daily Saints death death penalty devotional diaconate diaper diapers dirty disability Donald Trump Dorothy Day dream drugs Eastern Catholicism Eastern Christianity education election election update Elsewhere on Patheos empathy environment Fear feminism film review fish flashback fluffy buns food Franciscan University of Steubenville Friendship Room fun Gabriel gardening gospel hair-splitting Heaven hell heresy Hillary Clinton history Holly the Witch Holy Spirit holy war Homeschooling homosexuality horror human dignity humor Icon idol immigrants infection inter-religious dialogue Interpretation of Scripture Islam Jesus Jihad Joseph joy laity and lay vocations lamb dinner laundry lent lgbtq literature love manners Mary Medicine and Science Meditation mercy mess milk misogyny Missouri monasticism monster motherhood mourn with those mourn movies movis music mystery nature neurodiversity New Pro-Life Movement news nonsense nostalgia O antiphons obituary objectification Ohio Valley Ordinary Time ordination Ordo Amoris parable paradox Passover peanut butter personal beliefs pets philosophy Planet Charismatic poetry politics polls poop Pope Francis Pope Leo power in the Church prayer prayer request prayers preferential option for non-violence president presidential election priest primary private revelation pro-life prophecy Public face of Catholicism Pure Flix Q and A race racism random rape rape. sexuality reader's request Reckoners refugee religious trauma ressurrection Right to life Saints saints and celebrations same-sex same-sex marriage satire scandal secular feasts seder Seven Joys Seven Last Words sex sexual ethics sexuality silencing six months skid row slavery social justice Speculative fiction spiritual abuse spoon stain story suffering suffrage suffragette Sunday Gospel temple Tenebrae Responsories Terror the exorcist The Friendship Room The New Pro-Life Movement Things I Learned on the Internet tin cup traffic true story tv review Uncategorized USCCB vice and temptation violence Virtue virtue and vice war Way of the Cross whimsy whole life women's ordination work of mercy Year A

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What church leader is called "the Bishop of Rome"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The Archbishop of Canterbury The Pope The Patriarch The General Superintendent