Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
On Catholic Answers and the Problem of Violence Against Women

On Catholic Answers and the Problem of Violence Against Women

Last updated on: October 26, 2021 at 5:59 pm by Mary Pezzulo

On Catholic Answers and the Problem of Violence Against Women 2021-10-26T17:59:31-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I’ve been thinking for quite some time about an article I wish I hadn’t read.

The article was published almost a week ago in Catholic Answers. It was written by Tim Staples, and it was supposed to be about when Catholics may or may not use birth control. But it contained one paragraph that was so alarming it has to be examined on its own merits. The paragraph has been edited; here it is in its original form:

“Thus, for example, in a case where a husband threatens violence or to end the marriage itself, a faithful wife may continue conjugal relations even though her husband is using a condom. The wife’s cooperation in this sin is not formal– that is, it does not give external help to the sinner and interiorly will the sinful act itself, such as the sinful act of a man who drives a woman to get an abortion.”

I am horrified at that paragraph and I hope you are too. What Mr. Staples is describing is rape. He’s assuring a woman who was forced to have intercourse under threat of violence that she is not guilty of the sin of contraception if her rapist was wearing a condom.

On the day the article was published there was a huge backlash, mostly from Catholic women who’ve been victims of sexual violence, against that paragraph. Whoever runs Catholic Answers‘s social media tweeted a quick apology, and soon after the article was edited to remove “threatens violence.” The new paragraph read “If it were a case of formal cooperation, it would be unacceptable. But where a spouse voices disapproval of the act of contraception and is cooperating in it only for a proportional good—for example, where the other spouse threatens to end the marriage otherwise—this material cooperation may be permissible.” And obviously that’s not good enough. A woman who feels uncomfortable with a condom giving in to being penetrated by one because her husband threatens to abandon her is still being coerced. It’s still a form of rape. Catholic Answers seems perfectly okay with this, though.

My friend the apologist Scott Eric Alt has already expressed his objection to this nonsense, citing Church documents to show that Catholic teaching actually condemns marital rape, and I appreciate that.

As for me, I’ve just been thinking about it, as a Catholic woman who studied some bioethics at the graduate level when I was trying to get my philosophy MA at a Catholic university. While at one level the article is shocking, on another it’s not surprising at all. This is just how men who write and lecture about Catholic sexual ethics talk.

When I was trying to finish that MA at FUS, a male professor wanted to give an example of how everyone knows that sex acts have more gravity than other acts which involve physical touching. I was sitting in the front row because I’m nearsighted, so he looked at me first.

“Now, if I grabbed Mary [Maiden Name] by the shoulders and shook her,” he said, moving his arms close to me and pantomiming, “That would be a pretty bad thing, that’s assault. But if I were to rape someone…”

This was before I was raped. I didn’t have PTSD from a rape back then. But it was still upsetting– so upsetting I didn’t come back to class after the mid-lecture break. He didn’t think it would be upsetting at all, not until I emailed asking him to not use me as an example again. The professor was very embarrassed and apologized, which is why I’m not saying his name. But he hadn’t thought something like that would be hurtful until it was pointed out; he just thought of violence against women, and pantomiming violence against women as he talked, as a nifty hypothetical for a thought experiment.

I remember another class I took there, about the writings of the Catholic ethicist Germain Grisez. I was far from a feminist then, but it irritated me. Something about the way Grisez talked down to women in his “difficult moral questions” gave me pause. Of course, now that I look back I’m far more appalled. It’s not just that he’s talking down and patronizing. It’s the way he suggests that a teenage victim of incest “may be sinning mortally” as if being raped by her father could ever be a minor’s fault. Or the notion that a woman married to a wife-beater doesn’t have a null marriage, mustn’t go no-contact and needs to consider what she should have done differently so as not to provoke him. Or that rape can only be heterosexual and that women are partly responsible for their rape.

I kept thinking of those things, when I pondered the ridiculous Catholic Answers article.

It’s not so much that somebody thought to reassure Catholic women that we don’t sin if our rapist is wearing a condom. That was bad enough. What gets to me is the casual, matter-of-fact way that he tossed it off as a hypothetical moral difficulty. He clearly didn’t even realize he was describing rape. He calmly threw it in there and moved on. When he was called out Catholic Answers apologized, sort of, and took out the line about physical violence, but they left in the part about threat of leaving, because coerced sex is just fine and dandy if nobody gets beaten up. Similar to how the professor didn’t think using me as a hypothetical in a thought experiment about rape would be upsetting. Similar to how Grisez wrote a whole book called “Difficult Moral Questions” but doesn’t consider the moral questions thoroughly enough when they involve women and girls who are victims of violence.

This is how some men talk.

This is how an alarming number of Catholic men who write and lecture about Catholic ethics talk.

They don’t know violence against women when they see it. They don’t understand why violence against women would be traumatic. They don’t understand what rape is. They don’t realize the burdens they’re placing on a woman in an abusive relationship. And most alarmingly, it seems like the more book-learning they get on these topics, the more callous and dismissive they are. Studying the teachings of Jesus Christ ought to make you more compassionate.

Christ sees men and women as equals, and that’s supposed to be the official teaching of the Church as well, kind of, sort of, not necessarily alike but equal in dignity. But you’d never know that to talk to the prominent Catholic ethicists who lecture and write articles.

This is a problem.

Of course, these men aren’t going to listen to me.

Image via Pixabay

Mary Pezzulo is the author of Meditations on the Way of the Cross and Stumbling into Grace: How We Meet God in Tiny Works of Mercy.
Steel Magnificat operates almost entirely on tips. To tip the author, visit our donate page.

Difficult Moral Questions

violence against women

Previous Post

October 25, 2021

There Are So Many Different Fears

Next Post

October 26, 2021 The Priest Who Said "Me Too"

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion Abuse Advent America American Christianity angel angels Annunciation Appalachia apparition apparition chaser apparition chasers apparition culture art art review babies baby baby Jesus Bad Lip Reading bad statue contest bath beauty Bible story blog blogkeeping blood book review Brandon Sanderson breastfeeding bus Catholic catholic conspiracy alarmism Catholic Oppositional Disorder Charismatic Renewal Charlie the Cat chastity Christ Christian idenitity Christianity and Judaism Chronic Illness clean clothing COD piece comedy compassion conscience conspiracy theory conversion cop-on-black violence Crucifixion cry of the poor culture Daesh Daily Saints death death penalty devotional diaconate diaper diapers dirty disability Donald Trump Dorothy Day dream drugs Eastern Catholicism Eastern Christianity education election election update Elsewhere on Patheos empathy environment Fear feminism film review fish flashback fluffy buns food Franciscan University of Steubenville Friendship Room fun Gabriel gardening gospel hair-splitting Heaven hell heresy Hillary Clinton history Holly the Witch Holy Spirit holy war Homeschooling homosexuality horror human dignity humor Icon idol immigrants infection inter-religious dialogue Interpretation of Scripture Islam Jesus Jihad Joseph joy laity and lay vocations lamb dinner laundry lent lgbtq literature love manners Mary Medicine and Science Meditation mercy mess milk misogyny Missouri monasticism monster motherhood mourn with those mourn movies movis music mystery nature neurodiversity New Pro-Life Movement news nonsense nostalgia O antiphons obituary objectification Ohio Valley Ordinary Time ordination Ordo Amoris parable paradox Passover peanut butter personal beliefs pets philosophy Planet Charismatic poetry politics polls poop Pope Francis Pope Leo power in the Church prayer prayer request prayers preferential option for non-violence president presidential election priest primary private revelation pro-life prophecy Public face of Catholicism Pure Flix Q and A race racism random rape rape. sexuality reader's request Reckoners refugee religious trauma ressurrection Right to life Saints saints and celebrations same-sex same-sex marriage satire scandal secular feasts seder Seven Joys Seven Last Words sex sexual ethics sexuality silencing six months skid row slavery social justice Speculative fiction spiritual abuse spoon stain story suffering suffrage suffragette Sunday Gospel temple Tenebrae Responsories Terror the exorcist The Friendship Room The New Pro-Life Movement Things I Learned on the Internet tin cup traffic true story tv review Uncategorized USCCB vice and temptation violence Virtue virtue and vice war Way of the Cross whimsy whole life women's ordination work of mercy Year A

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

I am a goat released into the wilderness, carrying away the sins of the people. What am I?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The scapegoat A sacrifice A sin offering An atonement goat