Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
The Tale of the Monsignor and the Quinceañera Dress

The Tale of the Monsignor and the Quinceañera Dress

Last updated on: June 15, 2021 at 6:53 pm by Guest Contributor

The Tale of the Monsignor and the Quinceañera Dress 2021-06-15T18:53:45-04:00 Guest Contributor

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

We are nearing the two-year anniversary of my smackdown with Father Kevin. And it’s just my luck that I have come across another funny Priest Reacting Inappropriately to the Female Shoulder story on social media! Thanks to my friend Juana for posting this story to Twitter and giving me permission to reprint it!

–M. P.

Today on THE PARISH I just told Fr Boss this absolutely true story from my childhood and he was pretty solidly like “wtf” so now y’all get to hear it and pass judgment.

Okay. Let’s set the scene. It’s the summer after freshman year of high school, commonly known as Quince Season. My dear friend Jeanne is turning 15 and asks me to be in her traditional 14-dama court. I love Jeanne, and the dress isn’t as hideous as I expect, so I’m in. Jeanne goes to my grandmother’s parish, so that’s where the Mass will be. Our dresses are given to us – I can’t find any pictures, so here is an approximation. Think this, but hot pink, in a stiffer fabric, with a longer skirt and higher (still strapless) neckline.

The dress comes with a little wrap in the same fabric. it’s kind of weirdly packaged, but fine. The day arrives. I arrive on time, because I was a different person in high school, and am faced with a disaster. Three of our damas have forgotten or otherwise left their wraps. One of them had a sibling who had ripped it, one left it in their car, and the other one just forgot it at home. 3/14 damas, no wrap. Okay? Nope. Msgr’s solution was to refuse to start Mass at all. He yelled at the girls to call their parents and have them bring them the wraps. One of the parents had dropped the girl off on the way to work, so that one was out. The parent of one who’d left it at home was annoyed at being contacted about it, but agreed to come deliver the wrap. The third one was unwearable, so contacting the parents didn’t help much.

After delaying the Mass literally almost half an hour (the one parent who could bring it lived across town), Msgr got tired of waiting and instead demanded we start the Mass – but not with these exposed shoulders. Dear reader, do you know what is coming?

Msgr, tired of waiting, demands we cover the girls. His solution is to get CORPORALS FROM THE SACRISTY and force the girls to cover themselves with them. A corporal is generally less than two feet wide, so even as children, this was terribly ineffective. In hindsight, this is even more profoundly ridiculous than it was that day. I felt awful for those three girls, none of whom were remotely Catholic. The faraway parent slid in breathless and delivered the wrap during the Gospel, but the other two had to keep wearing the corporal. I’m pretty sure they’re wearing them in the church pictures, but Jeanne went off the grid a few years ago and took the pics with her, so you’ll just have to trust me on that. Anyway.

My grandmother later reported that her friend the sacristán was horrified at finding long red and brown hair on her linens, which makes me even more concerned that he just TOSSED THE LINENS BACK INTO THE CLEAN DRAWER LIKE NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. hello?????

Today in our wedding meeting modesty came up and I told this story, and Fr and our wedding coordinator both stared at me like I’d grown a third head. “Corporals?!?!”Yes. I swear to you. I remember the embroidery clashing with the pink. They stared at me.

Fr: that’s a profoundly inappropriate use of sacred linens.

Me: yep. He’s not a priest anymore.

Fr: oh. Did he get married? Me (cleaning nails): nah. he got sued

Coordinator: (chokes)

Fr: …ah. So he was just taking his own issues out on women.

Me: yeah. A lot. That was sort of his MO. Except we were children.

Fr: …Gross.

Coordinator (still shocked): …He put them BACK with the CLEAN ONES?

me: that’s what grandma’s friend said, yeah.

Fr: SACRISTÁN would murder me if I tried that.

Me: yeah, well, you’re not a creep OR a monsignor, thank God.

Fr (very clearly considering his life choices): *shocked face*

Anyway the lesson here is priests be normal about modesty in women (who were actually children at the time) and if things go Wrong maybe deal with it without belittling said children and misusing sacred linens. here’s the only picture I can find of the dresses. Ok bye!

Catholic

misogyny

Public face of Catholicism

Previous Post

June 13, 2021

To Reach for the Font

Next Post

June 16, 2021 The Prettiest House on the Block

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion Abuse Advent America American Christianity angel angels Annunciation Appalachia apparition apparition chaser apparition chasers apparition culture art art review babies baby baby Jesus Bad Lip Reading bad statue contest bath beauty Bible story blog blogkeeping blood book review Brandon Sanderson breastfeeding bus Catholic catholic conspiracy alarmism Catholic Oppositional Disorder Charismatic Renewal Charlie the Cat chastity Christ Christian idenitity Christianity and Judaism Chronic Illness clean clothing COD piece comedy compassion conscience conspiracy theory conversion cop-on-black violence Crucifixion cry of the poor culture Daesh Daily Saints death death penalty devotional diaconate diaper diapers dirty disability Donald Trump Dorothy Day dream drugs Eastern Catholicism Eastern Christianity education election election update Elsewhere on Patheos empathy environment Fear feminism film review fish flashback fluffy buns food Franciscan University of Steubenville Friendship Room fun Gabriel gardening gospel hair-splitting Heaven hell heresy Hillary Clinton history Holly the Witch Holy Spirit holy war Homeschooling homosexuality horror human dignity humor Icon idol immigrants infection inter-religious dialogue Interpretation of Scripture Islam Jesus Jihad Joseph joy laity and lay vocations lamb dinner laundry lent lgbtq literature love manners Mary Medicine and Science Meditation mercy mess milk misogyny Missouri monasticism monster motherhood mourn with those mourn movies movis music mystery nature neurodiversity New Pro-Life Movement news nonsense nostalgia O antiphons obituary objectification Ohio Valley Ordinary Time ordination Ordo Amoris parable paradox Passover peanut butter personal beliefs pets philosophy Planet Charismatic poetry politics polls poop Pope Francis Pope Leo power in the Church prayer prayer request prayers preferential option for non-violence president presidential election priest primary private revelation pro-life prophecy Public face of Catholicism Pure Flix Q and A race racism random rape rape. sexuality reader's request Reckoners refugee religious trauma ressurrection Right to life Saints saints and celebrations same-sex same-sex marriage satire scandal secular feasts seder Seven Joys Seven Last Words sex sexual ethics sexuality silencing six months skid row slavery social justice Speculative fiction spiritual abuse spoon stain story suffering suffrage suffragette Sunday Gospel temple Tenebrae Responsories Terror the exorcist The Friendship Room The New Pro-Life Movement Things I Learned on the Internet tin cup traffic true story tv review Uncategorized USCCB vice and temptation violence Virtue virtue and vice war Way of the Cross whimsy whole life women's ordination work of mercy Year A

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What city is considered holy by Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Antioch Rome Paris Jerusalem