Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
A Non-Apology and a Response from a Catholic Feminist

A Non-Apology and a Response from a Catholic Feminist

Last updated on: July 6, 2018 at 11:26 pm by Mary Pezzulo

A Non-Apology and a Response from a Catholic Feminist 2018-07-06T23:26:15-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I received an apology early this afternoon. Well, something made to look like an apology. The person who made it claimed he was repenting of something. I thought it best to address it publicly, because he expected it to be made public and because it’s part of a pattern I’ve observed of late.

I’ve had readers explaining to me in recent days that ‘traditionalist” Latin Catholic circles don’t tend to have a misogyny problem and that feminism– the belief that men and women are equal and the commitment to fight against unjust social structures that treat them without equity– is altogether a bad, unnecessary thing. I was told it was “rubbish” that you’ll find men who like to control and hurt women in Catholic circles; I was told that feminism, on the other hand, poisons our whole society. So I asked one of these gentlemen to explain his statement, and so far he has not.

This came rather quickly after the argument I was in a few weeks ago, wherein a Thomist explained to a whole group of rape survivors that we’d been forced into participating in “adultery” because that’s what rape actually was– not a gross act of violence committed with or on genitals, but just a different flavor of adultery. He had no idea why we were upset. He just kept talking.

I’m also still dealing with remark after remark that the rape victims at FUS and Christendom are part of a lying conspiracy to ruin good Catholic schools, and besides they deserved it for being unchaste. It’s always Catholics who are making these remarks.

And then I received this apology. I mentioned the other day that there was a thread where a gang of traditionalist Catholic Facebook trolls had taken one of my public profile pics and were making jokes about raping me or how rape-able I was, such as this one:

They joked about my head scarf I wear to Latin Mass and how rape-able or un-rape-able I was, why anyone would want to rape that, what a nuisance I apparently was in Steubenville. At first I thought that they were all threatening to rape me and said as much, but after I calmed down I realized I was in no danger; I believe all they wanted was to defame and intimidate and to make fun of how ugly I am. They apparently think that unattractive women don’t get raped. Just this morning, the troll who started the thread posted in a group where he knew I would see it, saying he’d been contacted by Father Peter West telling him to apologize… for criticizing my LOOKS.

A friend was good enough to let me know that a message had been posted for me in the group in question, and passed it along. Of course, by the time I thought to respond, the message had already been posted publicly in several places online so I was well familiar with its content.

Thank you, Norbert and Father West, but I already know I’m unattractive. That’s not terribly important to me. What matters is that you spent a whole thread giggling about an horrendous act of violence you thought I merited for being a woman who speaks out in ways you don’t like. Also, as far as I know, by the grace of God I’m not a heretic. I have often told my detractors to find anything I’ve said that’s heresy so I can repent of it, but they haven’t. They’ve gone on mocking me, or just insisting that I’m not a “real” Catholic because reasons. That also bothers me. I value my Faith. I want to not be raped ever again. Those two things concern me. But who gives a fig about my looks?

But Father West honestly thought I was so offended because this luminary had abused me for how I looked.

And this is why I am a feminist. I believe and profess everything that the Church teaches– including the part where Man and Woman are willed by God “in perfect equality as human persons.”

I hold the radical, revolutionary and scandalous belief that as a woman I am equal– not necessarily the same as, which is a different assessment, but equal– to every man, and every man is equal to me. I am different than they are, but my dignity is equal to theirs. I am made in the image and likeness of God as much as they are. I am baptized into the common priesthood of the baptized as much as any other believer, male or female. My life in communion with others is meant to be an image of the Holy Trinity as theirs is. My body, ugly as it happens to be, is a temple for the Holy Ghost as theirs is a temple. My soul is the Bride of Christ as is a man’s soul. My suffering is the Passion of Christ as much as a man’s is. My vocation as mother reflects the life-giving love of God as much as a vocation of a priest or biological father does. I am in my femininity as likely to be emotional, hysterical, rational, irrational, lustful, wrathful, gluttonous, prideful, greedy, envious, slothful or virtuous as any given man. I believe that this is true of myself and also of my daughter, of Saint Therese, of Mary of the Desert, of Marlin Monroe, of every woman who ever lived or will live. We are humans created in the image and likeness of God, equal to men. I hold that specifically because I am a Catholic. I might have come to a very different conclusion, if I were not Catholic. These are Catholic beliefs.

I have seen the dignity and equality of women denied and trampled by men and even other women– outside the Church and in ways that Catholics quickly condemn, yes. Often. But also by people in the Church, who view themselves as the very best Catholics, the impeccable Catholics, the Catholics who are so pure in their beliefs that they go around accusing others of heresy.

Feminists who are not Catholic have gently critiqued me or flat-out mocked me for staying Catholic if I mean to be a real feminist, for being pro-life if I mean to be a real feminist, and so on. Catholics who believe they’re allowed to be anti-woman treat me the way Father West and whoever that Norbert person is do. But here I am nonetheless– feminist because I am Catholic.

And as a Catholic, I say, to hell with this non-apology. To Heaven with the children of God including Norbert and Father West– may Christ have mercy on us and convert us from all of our errors. But to hell with this. This is from hell.

I forgive you because I am Catholic, but I don’t accept your apology.

(image via Pixabay)

Abuse

Catholic Oppositional Disorder

Interpretation of Scripture

Public face of Catholicism

Previous Post

May 29, 2018

By My Magnanimous Leave: How to ask Someone on a Date

Next Post

June 4, 2018 Christ is Coming to Heal the World

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion Abuse Advent America American Christianity angel angels Annunciation Appalachia apparition apparition chaser apparition chasers apparition culture art art review babies baby baby Jesus Bad Lip Reading bad statue contest bath beauty Bible story blog blogkeeping blood book review Brandon Sanderson breastfeeding bus Catholic catholic conspiracy alarmism Catholic Oppositional Disorder Charismatic Renewal Charlie the Cat chastity Christ Christian idenitity Christianity and Judaism Chronic Illness clean clothing COD piece comedy compassion conscience conspiracy theory conversion cop-on-black violence Crucifixion cry of the poor culture Daesh Daily Saints death death penalty devotional diaconate diaper diapers dirty disability Donald Trump Dorothy Day dream drugs Eastern Catholicism Eastern Christianity education election election update Elsewhere on Patheos empathy environment Fear feminism film review fish flashback fluffy buns food Franciscan University of Steubenville Friendship Room fun Gabriel gardening gospel hair-splitting Heaven hell heresy Hillary Clinton history Holly the Witch Holy Spirit holy war Homeschooling homosexuality horror human dignity humor Icon idol immigrants infection inter-religious dialogue Interpretation of Scripture Islam Jesus Jihad Joseph joy laity and lay vocations lamb dinner laundry lent lgbtq literature love manners Mary Medicine and Science Meditation mercy mess milk misogyny Missouri monasticism monster motherhood mourn with those mourn movies movis music mystery nature neurodiversity New Pro-Life Movement news nonsense nostalgia O antiphons obituary objectification Ohio Valley Ordinary Time ordination Ordo Amoris parable paradox Passover peanut butter personal beliefs pets philosophy Planet Charismatic poetry politics polls poop Pope Francis Pope Leo power in the Church prayer prayer request prayers preferential option for non-violence president presidential election priest primary private revelation pro-life prophecy Public face of Catholicism Pure Flix Q and A race racism random rape rape. sexuality reader's request Reckoners refugee religious trauma ressurrection Right to life Saints saints and celebrations same-sex same-sex marriage satire scandal secular feasts seder Seven Joys Seven Last Words sex sexual ethics sexuality silencing six months skid row slavery social justice Speculative fiction spiritual abuse spoon stain story suffering suffrage suffragette Sunday Gospel temple Tenebrae Responsories Terror the exorcist The Friendship Room The New Pro-Life Movement Things I Learned on the Internet tin cup traffic true story tv review Uncategorized USCCB vice and temptation violence Virtue virtue and vice war Way of the Cross whimsy whole life women's ordination work of mercy Year A

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was the ruler of Egypt during Joseph's time?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Cyrus Nebuchadnezzar Caesar Pharaoh