Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
What Does Modesty Have to do With It?

What Does Modesty Have to do With It?

Last updated on: April 19, 2018 at 12:43 pm by Mary Pezzulo

What Does Modesty Have to do With It? 2018-04-19T12:43:41-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

A surprising number of people have responded to the story about the sexual harassment at Franciscan University by asking me, “So how do we get women to dress modestly?” as if that was the point.

I really don’t know how you look at a story like that one and see modesty as the takeaway. It starts with a professor insisting that female students dress a certain way in the classroom and then writing a horrendous op ed justifying sexual harassment and rape as being somehow the victim’s fault; then it goes on to stories about women who were raped in their sleep, in the bathroom and by designated drivers at and around that university, and blamed for it, and denied justice. I presented a link to that article, and then spoke about the objectification of women, especially when women are objectified by being blamed for their own rape.

And people started asking me about modesty, and how we can make women cover up.

I was accused of saying that “modesty for women is passé now.” I was asked if I thought that, since it was creepy and intrusive for a professor to have a list of modesty rules for his female students, it would be better for women to take other women aside and gently correct them for their immodest garments. People honestly thought that modesty was the whole point of what’s going on at Franciscan University.

How can you look at horrendous objectification and victimization like that, and claim that the real issue is modesty?

Modesty doesn’t prevent rape.

I myself do dress pretty modestly. I don’t think I’m more virtuous than people who show more skin than I do, but I do feel called to dress modestly as part of my faith. I wear long skirts and scarves to church; I make sure my shoulders and bust are covered; I don’t wear shorts that go above the knee, when I do where shorts at all. I still got raped. I don’t cover nearly as much skin as my Orthodox Jewish friends who practice tznius and always keep their elbows, knees and collarbones covered even at the beach. Orthodox Jewish women still get raped. Neither one of us covers as much as a woman who wears hijabi outfits, but they get raped too. Women who never leave the house without a niquab or burqua have been raped. Women who never even go outside have been raped. All you have to do is pick up the Bible to find a story of a modest woman who never left the safe walls of her father’s palace, never interacted with men who weren’t her own relatives, and still got raped.

Because rape isn’t the victim’s fault.

Women take all kinds of precautions to keep from getting raped. We lock our car doors. We go to the restroom in groups. We stay one drink behind our dates and watch each other’s glasses for drugs. We take self-defense classes. We keep a gun in the bedroom. We sleep in our jeans if the door doesn’t look very sturdy. Women have done all this and more, and still gotten raped.

Because rape isn’t the victim’s fault.

I was raised to think that “if you dress trashy, men will treat you like trash.” I parroted that phrase to other children when I was very young. I believed it. A chastity speaker told me that “you use a certain type of bait to catch fish at the bottom of a lake. You wear a certain type of clothes to catch bottom-feeders too.” I didn’t want to attract bottom-feeders or have men treat me like trash.

Now that I’m older, I realize that men who are determined to treat women like trash will treat them like trash no matter what they wear. Some of the trashiest men specifically go after modestly-dressed girls because they expected those girls to be naive, obedient and easy targets. Some trashy men attack nuns, or women in hijabs. I have also met men who act more courteously to modest women than they do to women who dress in a way they consider trashy, of course. But why would I want them to respect me? They demonstrate by their behavior that they don’t care about women as children of God with intrinsic value; they care about clothing. They’re every bit as shallow as men who only respect women who dress in sexy designer clothes. Real godly men respect everyone, as Christ did.

Practicing virtue doesn’t mean you don’t get hurt, abused or victimized. Catholics should know that better than anyone. Christ was without sin His entire life; He was perfectly charitable, perfectly merciful, perfectly just, and also perfectly modest and chaste. And He did not avoid becoming a victim. A mob stripped Him naked and lynched Him. The same kind of people who killed Christ raped, tortured and brutally murdered the martyrs, who were models of virtue. So they do today. Rape and sexual harassment have nothing to do with chastity on the victim’s part and everything to do with unchastity and violence on the part of the attacker. When you see a person who has been sexually assaulted or harassed, you can’t guess anything about that person’s virtue, but you know plenty about the lack of virtue of the one who did this to them.

I can’t tell any of my readers how they ought to dress. It’s none of my business. Modesty is a personal matter between yourself and your creator, so that your clothing represents your true self and who you were created to be. It’s not a matter for other people to call out and shame. I certainly don’t think women should henpeck other women about it, nor should professors have a dress code that specifically shames women and not male students.

More relevantly right now, though, what does modesty have to do with the situation at Franciscan University?

What does modesty have to do with rape?

Christianity and Judaism

dirty

Franciscan University of Steubenville

human dignity

inter-religious dialogue

mess

misogyny

Public face of Catholicism

Franciscan University of Steubenvill

Previous Post

April 18, 2018

We Will Survive a Day Without Starbucks

Next Post

April 22, 2018 Banished By Mark Shea is at it Again

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion Abuse Advent America American Christianity angel angels Annunciation Appalachia apparition apparition chaser apparition chasers apparition culture art art review babies baby baby Jesus Bad Lip Reading bad statue contest bath beauty Bible story blog blogkeeping blood book review Brandon Sanderson breastfeeding bus Catholic catholic conspiracy alarmism Catholic Oppositional Disorder Charismatic Renewal Charlie the Cat chastity Christ Christian idenitity Christianity and Judaism Chronic Illness clean clothing COD piece comedy compassion conscience conspiracy theory conversion cop-on-black violence Crucifixion cry of the poor culture Daesh Daily Saints death death penalty devotional diaconate diaper diapers dirty disability Donald Trump Dorothy Day dream drugs Eastern Catholicism Eastern Christianity education election election update Elsewhere on Patheos empathy environment Fear feminism film review fish flashback fluffy buns food Franciscan University of Steubenville Friendship Room fun Gabriel gardening gospel hair-splitting Heaven hell heresy Hillary Clinton history Holly the Witch Holy Spirit holy war Homeschooling homosexuality horror human dignity humor Icon idol immigrants infection inter-religious dialogue Interpretation of Scripture Islam Jesus Jihad Joseph joy laity and lay vocations lamb dinner laundry lent lgbtq literature love manners Mary Medicine and Science Meditation mercy mess milk misogyny Missouri monasticism monster motherhood mourn with those mourn movies movis music mystery nature neurodiversity New Pro-Life Movement news nonsense nostalgia O antiphons obituary objectification Ohio Valley Ordinary Time ordination Ordo Amoris parable paradox Passover peanut butter personal beliefs pets philosophy Planet Charismatic poetry politics polls poop Pope Francis Pope Leo power in the Church prayer prayer request prayers preferential option for non-violence president presidential election priest primary private revelation pro-life prophecy Public face of Catholicism Pure Flix Q and A race racism random rape rape. sexuality reader's request Reckoners refugee religious trauma ressurrection Right to life Saints saints and celebrations same-sex same-sex marriage satire scandal secular feasts seder Seven Joys Seven Last Words sex sexual ethics sexuality silencing six months skid row slavery social justice Speculative fiction spiritual abuse spoon stain story suffering suffrage suffragette Sunday Gospel temple Tenebrae Responsories Terror the exorcist The Friendship Room The New Pro-Life Movement Things I Learned on the Internet tin cup traffic true story tv review Uncategorized USCCB vice and temptation violence Virtue virtue and vice war Way of the Cross whimsy whole life women's ordination work of mercy Year A

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Place me like a seal over your heart, for love is as strong as death and burns like what?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The sun A blazing flame A torch Lightning