Farmer, Carpenter, Explorer

Last updated on: May 1, 2017 at 8:10 pm by Mary Pezzulo

Farmer, Carpenter, Explorer 2017-05-01T20:10:47-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

In this way, I got treated for my yearly strep throat and swimmers’ ear. I got a cast put on my broken ankle after crying, limping and crawling for several days– my mother maintained that I was just being a brat about a sprained joint until she saw the x-ray, and she still said it was all my fault afterward. No one ever noticed my severe food sensitivities, because Grandpa had been educated in the days when nutrition wasn’t tied to sickness at all and he presumed I just had irritable bowel syndrome. I also got heavily medicated for a couple of nasty disorders I actually did not have, when my mother represented her version of my symptoms to him over the phone. I didn’t realize that this was happening until much later. It wasn’t until I was in my twenties, for example, that my aunt told me my mother had told him and all the rest of the family that I was hallucinating. That explains why they all treated me so strangely. I’d often wondered why they never believed anything I said.

But that wasn’t my grandfather’s fault. He was only working with symptoms he heard described secondhand. He actually loved me and wanted to help.

When I tried to set boundaries with my immediate family, as an adult, my mother told my grandfather that I had lost my mind again– then she reported back to me that Grandpa was “very concerned” that I was “off my meds” and insane. Grandpa was still a practicing internist at the time, so I feared that he’d call the cops and have me committed to a mental hospital. My lease was up just about then. I moved to a new apartment without telling anyone. I didn’t speak to my Grandpa or anyone else in the family for three years, but I missed him every day. Every day I lived in that crazy apartment in the nastiest part of Steubenville, I dreamed of his brick farmhouse and his beautiful garden, and my youngest days when I thought he must be a farmer, a carpenter or a scientist.

After I got married, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I tried to establish a relationship with my family again. For the most part, it blew up in my face, of course. But my grandparents still loved me. I don’t know if they believed me, but they were willing to treat me like family. The last time he visited me was just before Christmas– he came bringing an artificial tree for the living room. He sang songs with Rose and told her stories. I got to hug him goodbye, and tell him I loved him, and he said “I love you too.”

Just two years ago, my grandfather had a fall. He fell in his basement, where all his woodworking tools were, and he hit the back of his head. It took him a week to die, in that same hospital where he’d worked for fifty years. I wanted more than anything to go be with him. But we didn’t have a car and had no one to give us a ride even if it would have been safe to let my daughter in room with my mother. I waited at home for news from anyone– one great aunt snuck me a photo of him in the hospital, and wrote me a message when he passed on.

That was the last day of April. And there was plenty left unsaid.

I don’t know if my grandpa ever understood what happened to me. I don’t know if he went to his grave believing I was a liar and psychotic. I don’t know what I’ll say when I see him again, in that other perfect garden owned by that other perfect Carpenter, where everything hidden is brought into marvelous light.

I know that he was someone who loved me. And that’s enough.

(image via Pixabay)

Go back

Uncategorized

Previous Post

April 29, 2017

A Heavy Hand: A Review of Hulu's "The Handmaid's Tale"

Next Post

May 2, 2017 Cyril And Methodius Invent The Russian Language: A Play In One Act

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion Abuse Advent America American Christianity angel angels Annunciation Appalachia apparition apparition chaser apparition chasers apparition culture art art review babies baby baby Jesus Bad Lip Reading bad statue contest bath beauty Bible story blog blogkeeping blood book review Brandon Sanderson breastfeeding bus Catholic catholic conspiracy alarmism Catholic Oppositional Disorder Charismatic Renewal Charlie the Cat chastity Christ Christian idenitity Christianity and Judaism Chronic Illness clean clothing COD piece comedy compassion conscience conspiracy theory conversion cop-on-black violence Crucifixion cry of the poor culture Daesh Daily Saints death death penalty devotional diaconate diaper diapers dirty disability Donald Trump Dorothy Day dream drugs Eastern Catholicism Eastern Christianity education election election update Elsewhere on Patheos empathy environment Fear feminism film review fish flashback fluffy buns food Franciscan University of Steubenville Friendship Room fun Gabriel gardening gospel hair-splitting Heaven hell heresy Hillary Clinton history Holly the Witch Holy Spirit holy war Homeschooling homosexuality horror human dignity humor Icon idol immigrants infection inter-religious dialogue Interpretation of Scripture Islam Jesus Jihad Joseph joy laity and lay vocations lamb dinner laundry lent lgbtq literature love manners Mary Medicine and Science Meditation mercy mess milk misogyny Missouri monasticism monster motherhood mourn with those mourn movies movis music mystery nature neurodiversity New Pro-Life Movement news nonsense nostalgia O antiphons obituary objectification Ohio Valley Ordinary Time ordination Ordo Amoris parable paradox Passover peanut butter personal beliefs pets philosophy Planet Charismatic poetry politics polls poop Pope Francis Pope Leo power in the Church prayer prayer request prayers preferential option for non-violence president presidential election priest primary private revelation pro-life prophecy Public face of Catholicism Pure Flix Q and A race racism random rape rape. sexuality reader's request Reckoners refugee religious trauma ressurrection Right to life Saints saints and celebrations same-sex same-sex marriage satire scandal secular feasts seder Seven Joys Seven Last Words sex sexual ethics sexuality silencing six months skid row slavery social justice Speculative fiction spiritual abuse spoon stain story suffering suffrage suffragette Sunday Gospel temple Tenebrae Responsories Terror the exorcist The Friendship Room The New Pro-Life Movement Things I Learned on the Internet tin cup traffic true story tv review Uncategorized USCCB vice and temptation violence Virtue virtue and vice war Way of the Cross whimsy whole life women's ordination work of mercy Year A

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

In what city did the disciples first preach to Gentiles and were first called Christians?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Ephesus Jerusalem Antioch Corinth