Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Catholic
Evening Walk

Evening Walk

Last updated on: September 28, 2016 at 10:42 pm by Mary Pezzulo

Evening Walk 2016-09-28T22:42:08-04:00 Mary Pezzulo

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

cobblestone-692311_640

(image via Pixabay)

Lately, when I can’t sleep at night, I go for walks by myself.

I live in a crowded little steel-mill town, a conglomeration of houses rather than a community. When it was prosperous, working class families bought pre-cut houses from Sears and Roebuck and built them on tiny little lots. Now that it’s poor, the families have gone. Half the houses stand derelict, doors nailed shut or hanging open like rotten teeth, man-made caves for the stray cats to live in. They come out this time of night; they watch you from the overgrown yards. If they like you, they lie on the sidewalk across your path and dare you to step over them; or else they follow you for a few paces, silent like a second shadow, until they find something more interesting.

I live in a striped neighborhood– a neighborhood that has “good” streets and “bad” streets, rich streets and poor streets, rather than being neatly divided into a rich and poor part of town. The very worst streets have broken street lights; people seal themselves inside at night and draw the blinds in case of stray bullets. People get evicted, their possessions all thrown out on the curb, and the garbage trucks won’t pick it up because it isn’t in bags, so it sits there, getting more and more rotten in the rain, making the sidewalk harder to travel, making the burrs and poison oak harder to avoid.

The moderately “bad” streets have taciturn men and women smoking on the porches of occupied houses, swatting the bugs that come to orbit the porch lights; and in between the occupied houses are the derelicts, with the cats. I like those streets.

The best places to walk, though, are on the rich streets, way up toward the cliff. This town is so economically depressed that a middle-class person with reasonable credit can buy a mansion, a splendid old antique palace with a breathtaking view of downtown and the river, and live there like gentry, despising everyone else. I don’t like to walk there in the day time. Those are the people who’ve informed me that I shouldn’t live in this neighborhood at all. People who are poor, people who collect government benefits, bring down the value of the neighborhood. I used to try to get along with those people, because they’re all Catholic like me, but I don’t bother anymore. I wait until late at night, and take my walk down that street.

The houses there are breathtaking. These are no modern, kitschy McMansions; these are architectural wonders, great big Victorian mountains of brick or stone with wraparound porches, jutting gables and fancy landscaping, each on a depressingly small lot. They should be farther apart, with fountains and topiary gardens between them, but they huddle together on the relatively expensive land. Sometimes the lights are on as I walk by, and I can notice tasteful paint, elaborate wallpaper and expensive furniture inside.

I’ve named all of the mansions, in my mind. There’s the Yellow Brick House, three stories of honey-colored brick on a slightly larger lot than usual. There’s the Von Trapp House, which I’ve heard the neighbors call The Masoleum. There’s the Gatsby House, because of its Art Nouveau glass in the windows. There’s the Manor House with its deep sloping slate roof.

I like to make up stories about the houses, about who I would be if I lived there.

I like to imagine myself rail-thin with a chin-length bob and a drop-waist dress, living in the Gatsby House. I imagine myself in a crisp 1930s dress with a jaggedy perm, leaning on the stone veranda of the Von Trapp House. I try to imagine what it would be like to be myself, in modern times, only socially acceptable and liked. I try to imagine thinking that public assistance is unnecessary and creates dependence, that only drug addicts use it, that no one becomes a drug addict except deliberately and with wicked intent anyway. That no one is so poor they can’t keep up their appearance. That misfortune is a dark forest you willingly walk into, instead of a precipice you often slip over backwards. That if you do, there are plenty of private charities who will help you, and no one needs to “collect.”

In some ways, it’s easy to imagine. I used to think similarly, when I was a teenager. By some mystery, some people are allowed to remain youthfully naive their whole lives, and claim it’s a mark of maturity. I don’t understand this. It’s a lack of empathy on my part not to understand. I hope to understand someday. I try to imagine myself in their place, but it’s puzzling. Easier to imagine I’m a rail-thin flapper or a wartime housewife, or a noble gentlewoman who manages the peasants at the Manor House.

By the time my thoughts turn sour like this, I’m usually at the end of the rich street. I turn down one of the moderately “bad” streets toward my house, with the poor people smoking on their porches and the man-made caves bursting with stray cats. I can see the lights on inside as I walk by. Some of the windows have bed sheets tacked to the frame instead of curtains, just like at my house. But sometimes I notice living rooms with cheap wood paneling, televisions blaring with no one watching, people milling around crowded little kitchens.

People like me, and not like me.

And then I’m home.

Previous Post

September 28, 2016

Throwing the Baby Out With The Beer: The Pro-Life Movement and the Idolatry of Party Politics

Next Post

September 29, 2016 Michaelmas Recollections

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category abortion Abuse Advent America American Christianity angel angels Annunciation Appalachia apparition apparition chaser apparition chasers apparition culture art art review babies baby baby Jesus Bad Lip Reading bad statue contest bath beauty Bible story blog blogkeeping blood book review Brandon Sanderson breastfeeding bus Catholic catholic conspiracy alarmism Catholic Oppositional Disorder Charismatic Renewal Charlie the Cat chastity Christ Christian idenitity Christianity and Judaism Chronic Illness clean clothing COD piece comedy compassion conscience conspiracy theory conversion cop-on-black violence Crucifixion cry of the poor culture Daesh Daily Saints death death penalty devotional diaconate diaper diapers dirty disability Donald Trump Dorothy Day dream drugs Eastern Catholicism Eastern Christianity education election election update Elsewhere on Patheos empathy environment Fear feminism film review fish flashback fluffy buns food Franciscan University of Steubenville Friendship Room fun Gabriel gardening gospel hair-splitting Heaven hell heresy Hillary Clinton history Holly the Witch Holy Spirit holy war Homeschooling homosexuality horror human dignity humor Icon idol immigrants infection inter-religious dialogue Interpretation of Scripture Islam Jesus Jihad Joseph joy laity and lay vocations lamb dinner laundry lent lgbtq literature love manners Mary Medicine and Science Meditation mercy mess milk misogyny Missouri monasticism monster motherhood mourn with those mourn movies movis music mystery nature neurodiversity New Pro-Life Movement news nonsense nostalgia O antiphons obituary objectification Ohio Valley Ordinary Time ordination Ordo Amoris parable paradox Passover peanut butter personal beliefs pets philosophy Planet Charismatic poetry politics polls poop Pope Francis Pope Leo power in the Church prayer prayer request prayers preferential option for non-violence president presidential election priest primary private revelation pro-life prophecy Public face of Catholicism Pure Flix Q and A race racism random rape rape. sexuality reader's request Reckoners refugee religious trauma ressurrection Right to life Saints saints and celebrations same-sex same-sex marriage satire scandal secular feasts seder Seven Joys Seven Last Words sex sexual ethics sexuality silencing six months skid row slavery social justice Speculative fiction spiritual abuse spoon stain story suffering suffrage suffragette Sunday Gospel temple Tenebrae Responsories Terror the exorcist The Friendship Room The New Pro-Life Movement Things I Learned on the Internet tin cup traffic true story tv review Uncategorized USCCB vice and temptation violence Virtue virtue and vice war Way of the Cross whimsy whole life women's ordination work of mercy Year A

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What is the correct sequence of the fruit of the Spirit as listed in Galatians?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Love, peace, joy, kindness, forbearance, faithfulness, goodness, self-control, gentleness Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control Love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, forbearance, faithfulness, self-control, gentleness Joy, love, peace, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, forbearance, gentleness, self-control