Ed Blanch on Catholic Bishops Hats

Last updated on: December 26, 2014 at 1:47 pm by Fr. Dwight Longenecker

Ed Blanch on Catholic Bishops Hats 2014-12-26T13:47:57-05:00 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

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Guest blogger Ed Blanch writes for RED– the Intercollegiate Marxist Review. An activist with the Occupy Chick-Fil-A movement, he is also a member of Citizens for Rap Music. He comments regularly on the PETA website and blogs at There’s No Sky Fairy*. Ed is a sophomore at North Jersey College of Technology majoring in media studies.*

Somebody commented on my blog: There’s No Sky Fairy that I should look into the ridiculous habit of these Catholic bishops wearing pointy hats. I never thought about it before. They look like dunce caps, except they’re split down the middle and have these tabs down the back, and are not really like dunce caps, but you can see what I mean.

Anyway, I looked it up on the internet and it doesn’t surprise me to find out that the pointy hats which the Catholic bishops where are exactly the same as the hats that were worn by the high priests of the ancient pagan Philistine religion. The Philistines were notorious for being un-sophisticated people, and although many people think their religion has died out they are still around because one of my college professors used exactly this word when he said some students who had been partying and made a mess were a bunch of philistines. Probably they were doing some New Age stuff which I have heard about on campus, and they are bringing back this ancient religion like some of the wimmin who are doing Wicca.

So I don’t mind all that stuff if they want to do it, but it only shows that the Catholic religion comes from the worship of the ancient fish god Dagon who was also a Philistine. How dumb is that? They believe he was half fish and half man see? So they dressed up their priests with a fake fish head with an open mouth, and the skin of the fish went down his back like a cloak, and if you look at the Bishop sideways you will see that his pointy hat (which is called a tonsure) looks like an open fish mouth. They usually wear the tonsure when they are wearing a big cape like cloak which is called the capa nostra. This is to remind people of the fish skin that covered the back of the high priest of Dagon and you can see pictures of the whole thing if you go on the internet.

To show how ridiculous and pagan the whole Catholic thing is, get this: you know those fish signs you see on the back of Christian cars? It has a secret Greek word on it called ICTHUS. They say this stands for the first letters of the name of Jesus, but it turns out ICTHUS is really a secret Christian code word. It is the Greek word for–you guessed it: FISH! This is also why the Catholics are not allowed to eat anything but fish except on Fridays when they are allowed to eat salad, and I knew a guy who was Catholic who used to love eating seafood so why is that a hardship? Especially when there are starving children in the world?

Hold on. There’s more. Do you remember your Bible stories kiddies? What was the occupation of the disciples? They were ‘Fishermen’ right? And what about all those stories in the Bible about fish? Noah being swallowed by the whale? That’s a symbolic story showing that the Old Testament Jews were also secret followers of Dagon the fish god. Then remember when Jesus Christ does a ‘miracle’ by having his friends catch a lot of fish? Then he says they will be ‘fishers of men’. It’s all a secret code because he was ‘luring’ them into the pagan religion of Dagon worship. Then they were supposed to use nets to catch people. We can see now that this was an ancient prophecy against the internet.

Then he ate fish after he supposedly ‘resurrected’ from the dead. He gave them fish to eat and here’s where it gets really sick: he said the bread and wine he gave them to eat was his body and blood. Then he gives them fish to eat and the word ‘fish’ sounds like the word ‘flesh’ so when they eat fish/flesh they are eating his flesh. That’s exactly what Catholics believe. They believe the bread/fish/flesh is Jesus Christ. Then sometimes they put the bread from their communion service in a big jeweled gold thing with a round window called a ‘monstrance’ (notice the similarity to the word ‘monster’ which connects the the ‘whale’ in the Noah’s whale story) and worship it, and so they are really worshipping Dagon the monster fish god. Sounds ‘fishy’ to me!

To prove the link with the fish monster, I discovered that the word ‘Dagon’ is only one letter short of ‘Dragon’. The Christians always said the ‘dragon’ was Satan, so all along they thought they were worshipping Jesus Christ–who one of my professors said probably never existed anyway– and instead they were secretly being enticed to worship the Dragon–Dagon– who is Satan. You probably already figured out that ‘Satan’ is an anagram of ‘Santa’ and that whole Christmas hoax is another thing I will write about later.

So anyway, next time you see a Catholic Bishop in their pointy hat remember that it’s all a load of ‘codswallop’.

For readers who are confused or upset by Ed’s remarks and would like to learn more about him go here and Thomas MacDonald has a juicy rant about dumb sophomoric atheists over here.

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