Defending Marriage

Last updated on: September 22, 2011 at 10:01 am by Fr. Dwight Longenecker

Defending Marriage 2011-09-22T10:01:00-05:00 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Catholics are often accused of being ‘homophobic’–the new curse word that means we are afraid of homosexuals. I don’t think I’m afraid of homosexuals, although when someone comes on my combox and says that they want to stand on my head and not take their foot off until they have ‘squeezed some sense into it’ I have to admit that I get a little bit afraid. When I see what homosexuals have done to the good name of Senator Rick Santorum that makes me a little bit afraid.

But I’m not really afraid of homosexuals. I am, however, disapproving of homosexuality. This is not simply because I find sodomy repulsive. I disapprove of homosexuality because I approve of marriage. So instead of blasting homosexuals and homosexuality I wish to defend, support, explain and uphold the truth and beauty of sacramental marriage.

In order to do this, one needs to understand the fully Catholic teaching on marriage. Marriage, for Catholics, is a sacrament. It is a visible means of grace. In other words, through the physical actions and commitment of marriage God’s saving grace is active in our lives. Marriage is, if you like, a ladder to heaven. It is one of the ways we participate in our salvation. St John teaches us that “those who live in love live in God and God lives in them.” The human covenant of marriage is the most sublime and complete way for most people to experience the love of God. In fact, it is the most urgent and active and obvious way for most people to experience and participate in the grace-filled action of God’s salvation.

This sacrament–this means of grace–is something permanent and precious and life giving. It is a path to that self sacrifice that leads to eternal life. Within marriage God’s life and love exists in and through and with our human love sealed and made permanent through marriage. Like all the sacraments, it is, by its very nature, life giving and healing and forgiving. Through the sacraments our broken humanity is ransomed, healed, restored and forgiven. This is especially true of marriage with it’s drama of joys and sorrows spread over a lifetime. It is also especially true of marriage since only through marriage do a man and woman participate with God in the creation of new human souls.

Because marriage is such a beautiful, eternal, precious and fragile sacrament we love and cherish it. We also oppose everything that would break this precious, fragile and life giving sacrament. Divorce breaks marriage. Adultery breaks marriage. Pornography breaks marriage. Co habitation breaks marriage. Promiscuity breaks marriage. Contraception breaks marriage. Abortion breaks marriage. Child abuse breaks marriage. Homosexuality also breaks marriage.

The proponents of homosexuality will argue that it is all about ‘love’. However, their definition of love is “the freedom to have sexual relations with whomever I experience erotic and romantic emotions toward.” They may add to this an idea of “commitment” or even “lifelong commitment” but a moment’s reflection will show that these subjective and sentimental notions of ‘love’ can just as easily be claimed by the adulterer, the child abuser, the co habiter and the divorcee. The adulterer will claim that he did not love his spouse any more and loves his mistress more. The co-habiter will claim to be in love with the person he or she is living with. Indeed, the child abuser will claim to love the child and may even claim to ‘be in a loving relationship’ with the teen they are abusing. The promiscuous man about town may claim to ‘love’ each woman with whom he has a one night stand. The couple who are using artificial contraception will claim that they are doing so because they love one another and ‘can’t afford’ a child. Abortion has even been rationalized through ‘love’ by claiming that the person choosing abortion is doing so ‘because they love the children they already have.’

Therefore, some other criteria for ‘love’ must be established, and a Christian society has recognized that bona fide relationship to be the thing we call marriage. In marriage love is objectified and strengthened and clarified by a life long sacrament.

Does this mean that we must hate homosexuals? Some homosexuals may be aggressive and ugly in their campaigning. Some may be disgusting in their promiscuous and degrading lifestyle. They’re pretty easy to dislike, but there are heterosexuals who are disgusting in their promiscuity and degrading lifestyle. If we find some homosexual practices repulsive we also find some heterosexual practices repulsive. So that’s a red herring.

On the other hand a homosexual person may be gentle, loving, restrained and disciplined and loyal to one partner. This homosexual seems more acceptable and less repulsive. He or she seems like ‘such a nice guy’ or ‘a wonderful gal’. But a person’s niceness is not the criteria for moral judgement. Plenty of adulterers, divorcees, child abusers or mass murderers were charming and polite and ‘nice’. This again is a subjective, sentimental judgement and therefore a red herring.

Instead we return to the objectivity of natural law and conclude that the sexual organs are designed for a certain purpose and to use them otherwise in any way is deviant. Homosexual acts are therefore, objectively disordered, and according to this argument, so are many other sexual behaviors–of which we also disapprove. Marriage is objectively a sacrament, so likewise, any behavior which breaks marriage is something of which we disapprove. We do not wish for homosexual people to re-define marriage on their terms, but we also disapprove of the re-definition of marriage that has occurred de facto through contraception, no fault divorce, re-marriage, widespread promiscuity and co habitation.

Our response is to note all of these crimes against marriage objectively and then accept on equal terms all people–no matter what their sinful condition. Do we find some of their behaviors repugnant? So be it. However, our natural repugnance does not mean we should hate those people or deny them human rights. We still see each person as a son or daughter of God and we hope to offer to them, as we do to all sinners–the heart of compassion and the chance for redemption, forgiveness, healing, peace and life.

For that is what we wish for ourselves, who are also sinners and in need of the same.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

September 21, 2011

Wealth and Power

Next Post

September 22, 2011 Of Herrings and Heresy

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Anglican Matters Apologetics Architecture Blobble Study Book Reviews Brideshead Caitlin O'Rourke Catholic Art Catholic Culture Church Politics Chust for Nice Contemporary Culture Duane Mandible Ed Blanch Film Reviews Fr Harvey Nicolaitan Frank Viola Mantilla the Hon More Christianity Mrs Brady Catholic Old Lady Mystery of the Magi Norman Anderson Queen Hillary Saints and Supernatural Spirituality The Inklings The Vicar Theology Todd Unctuous Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz