Married Priests

Last updated on: October 5, 2009 at 11:18 am by Fr. Dwight Longenecker

Married Priests 2009-10-05T11:18:00-05:00 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

The Longenecker family at my ordination. Wife Alison, Benedict (16) Madeleine (15) Theodore (12) Elias (11)

From time to time I am asked to justify or explain the fact that I am a married man with four children, and also a Catholic priest. There are strong feelings in the ‘celibate priests’ debate on both sides, and people expect me to have all the answers. I hate to disillusion those who wish to recruit me for either side of the debate. My own views are a mixture of common sense and loyalty to the traditions and teachings of Mother Church.

First let us dispose of some red herrings. Some favor celibacy of priests for utilitarian reasons. The most common argument one hears for celibacy is that ‘the celibate man has more time for God and for his flock’. A married man cannot really serve the Lord with the total dedication that is required. Well, yes and no. Of course, this is one of the arguments put forward by the apostle Paul in I Corinthians 7.32-33. However, in saying this, common sense also prevails.

Does marriage mean that I do not have time for the parish or my priestly work? No. My wife and children are very supportive. I have a job as a school chaplain (not a parish priest) that is very suitable to the married state. Am I busy? Yes, do I sometimes have to work hours that put pressure on the family? Yes, but then so do many other men in other professions, and their hours and time away are much worse than mine. I think of truck drivers, fire fighters, soldiers and sailors and doctors on call. Many jobs take the man away from home. Many travel for days and weeks at at time. People cope. Furthermore, I’m afraid I can think of a good number of celibate men who are not available at all times for all the people everywhere. For some celibacy leads them to a life of selfishness, self absorbtion and isolation. Celibacy does not automatically produce the Cure d’Ars.

Another red herring: the church cannot (or can) afford married priests. Or course some churches cannot afford married men with families, but many can afford married priests. There are plenty of chaplaincy posts available that provide an adequate salary. Any decent medium sized parish can easily support a married man and his family. Catholics should get over the idea that their priests work for $5,000.00 a year. If a married man were to get the benefits in kind that most parish priests receive (house, insurance, expenses, food allowance, utilities etc) plus a rewarding job for life, many men (from a purely practical view) would jump at the chance. However, the married man and his wife and family must be prepared to live the life of faith filled poverty if need be, and many married men and their wives are prepared to do just that in order to serve the church. The support of the married clergy is simply a practical problem to be solved, and it is just as easily solved as finding a salary for any lay person as we do in our parishes, our schools, our diocesan offices etc.

There is a complication which many who are in favor of married priests do not think of: While it may be possible to support married men with families, if they are living according to church teaching and are young and fertile this might mean many children. It is possible to afford married clergy and they can find the time to be priests too, but what if they have a dozen children? I believe it is still possible, but the larger the family, the more the questions of affordability and division of vocation and time availability become an issue.

A third red herring: Celibacy is mandatory because sex is dirty. This is alien to Catholic teaching. Marriage is sacred and so is the marriage bed. Yes, you can find some witnesses from the early church who teach that the marriage act defiles the priest, but just because it is primitive doesn’t mean it is correct. Support for both married and celibate clergy is found in the primitive tradition. The primitive tradition is considered in the light of the whole teaching of the church on marriage and sexuality.

A fourth red herring: married priests make better pastors because they have a wife and children. They understand the stresses and strains of marriage and parenting and so they understand most people’s situation better. This assumes that the man is a good husband and father. I can assure you from my experience as a Protestant that this is by no means the case. When clergy marriages hit the rocks they hit hard. There are all sorts of difficulties and levels of complexity that most marriages never have to face. Just as there are celibate priests who fail to live up to their vow, there are married clergy who have disastrous marriages and are terrible fathers. Likewise, there are many celibate men who understand marriage and family life perfectly well. Remember, they were brought up in a family. They’re not stupid, and as C.S.Lewis said, “The referee can see the game better than the players.” A wise celibate priest can offer advice and direction to married couples and families.

A fifth red herring: Marriage will solve the priest child abuse problem. This assumes that all celibates are frustrated sexually and are secret perverts while married men are all well adjusted, sexually mature and satisfied men. It doesn’t take an Einstein to figure this one out. Again, common sense prevails. Some celibate men are sexually immature, perverted and twisted. So are some married men. Likewise, many celibate men are confident, content and fulfilled within their vow just as many married men are. Celibacy actually pre-empts a whole range of nightmarish problems for the clergy: divorce and re-marriage, homosexual unions, support of divorced clergy wives and children, mixed marriages etc.

So what is my position and why? Simply this: I support the present discipline of the church. It is a discipline not a dogma. It could be changed tomorrow. It could be changed in any number of ways: the Eastern discipline could be adopted. Married older men could be invited to apply for ordination. Men who were laicized to be married could be invited back into active ministry. I can see practical advantages to both positions, but whatever happens it is not for me to say. Therefore, I support the present discipline of the church.

Finally, what is the real reason for celibacy? All of the utilitarian reasons are red herrings for the reasons I have outlined above. Instead the core argument for celibacy is theological. The celibate (priest or religious) pictures for us the ‘Bride of Christ’. The male priest and male or female religious are bethrothed to Jesus Christ, and thus become icons of what all of us are intended to be in Christ. Each one of us are supposed to put Christ absolutely first in our lives and have no greater love than him. The married, in their turn, remind the celibate what marriage is like, and what their relationship to Christ consists of: daily, nitty gritty, self sacrifice. Then the celibate, reciprocate by reminding the married that their marriage is a sacrament that is a mystery that reflects and incarnates the unity between Christ and his Church.

This is why some are called to the self sacrifice of celibacy…not essentially for practical reasons, but for theological reasons, and those theological reasons become practical as they are lived out in the daily sacrifice.

UPDATE: Go here for my latest article for National Catholic Register on Convert Clergy.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

October 4, 2009

Doing Religion with the Leftovers

Next Post

October 6, 2009 Duane Mandible Reports

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Anglican Matters Apologetics Architecture Blobble Study Book Reviews Brideshead Caitlin O'Rourke Catholic Art Catholic Culture Church Politics Chust for Nice Contemporary Culture Duane Mandible Ed Blanch Film Reviews Fr Harvey Nicolaitan Frank Viola Mantilla the Hon More Christianity Mrs Brady Catholic Old Lady Mystery of the Magi Norman Anderson Queen Hillary Saints and Supernatural Spirituality The Inklings The Vicar Theology Todd Unctuous Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz