The Vicar Writes

Last updated on: December 24, 2014 at 10:39 am by Fr. Dwight Longenecker

The Vicar Writes 2014-12-24T10:39:01-05:00 Fr. Dwight Longenecker

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Guest blogger, The Rev’d Humphrey Blytherington, Vicar of St Hilda’s, Little Snoring and All Saints, Great Snoring, weighs in on Anglican issues.

I was enjoying a half pint of lager shandy down at the Goose and Garter the other evening after bell ringing practice, when Nigel, one of the lads said, ” ‘ere, Vicar, wot’s all this about the church needing more bishops? Aren’t there too many already?”

“Nigel is quite right”, I explained, “The Church does need more bishops.”

“But they’re all toffs, wot live in palaces and sit in the House of Lords ain’t they?” said Clive. “Yeh, I reckon the church needs less of them, not more.” said another. “Don’t they all have servants and chauffeur driven cars?” “Load of Oxbridge pansies!” said another.

Golly, it seemed like I had a little rebellion on my hands! So I took the opportunity to explain further. I always enjoy these homely opportunities for evangelism. So good to reach out to those beneath one socially, and share a bit of the wisdom one has gathered through the years.

“Now lads, look here.” I began, “I’m sure you don’t really understand quite how demanding the bishop’s job really is. First of all, he’s got a jolly big house and garden to look after, and that’s not an easy task at the best of times, especially when the house is likely to be hundreds of years old. A friend of mine from college became a bishop and he was telling me how impossible it was to live in a palace. The heating was virtually non existent and the butler was incompetent. He said when the grandchildren came round and rode bikes in the Great Hall the echo was deafening.

Then a bishop has got an awful lot of sherry parties to attend. You may well chortle at such things, but that’s where he meets important people like the town mayor, and helps to get things done. Then there’s the confirmations. Why only last summer the Bishop came to our deanery and confirmed six young people, and after the confirmation he’s got to eat cake and drink tea and have photographs taken. Jolly exhausting I’d say! Then there’s one meeting after another about things like the archdeacon’s report on sex education for Church of England schools. You wouldn’t believe how busy a bishop’s day is, and when that’s all done he’s lucky to have a moment to spare for Mrs. Bishop, who’s waiting to talk about her day organizing the cathedral flower guild or to ask him about the choice of curtains for the ballroom or the proper color of paint to redecorate the Abbot’s Library.

The bishops I know are exhausted by it all. I suppose, as usual, the Yanks have got the answer. They’ve cut straight to the point and are trying their hardest to have more pansies ordained as bishops. It’s not my cup of tea, and Mrs. Vicar is incensed by the move, but I can see the sense of it. Lavinia, the curate over at St Ethedreda’s says it’s a matter of equal rights. She thinks the church has discriminated against women and homosexual chaps for too long.

She’s a bit strident at times, our Lavinia, but I can see her point. It’s not really Christian to be unkind to someone just because they have different opinions about this or that. For my part I can see some practical advantages to the Yanks proposals for more bishops of that sort. A man like that will be able to reach out to all the folks who are that way inclined, and a chap who hasn’t got family responsibilities has got more time for the demanding work of being a bishop. Furthermore, when it comes to home management, he’s not likely to need any help deciding about curtains and paint colors, or what sort of china is necessary for the banqueting hall.

When I explained this to the lads, one of them said, “Half of them are pooftahs already, so wot’s the big problem?” I tend to agree, but it seems the more traditional members of our flock are up in arms over the whole business and they’re splitting off to make their own church. Honestly, such behavior is simply exasperating! Why go off in a huff over something so unimportant? What on earth does it matter to the Almighty what a chap does in his bedroom? It’s not like the fellows are hurting anyone.

I can understand somebody leaving their church if a vicar introduces foreign Roman style worship with incense and processions of statues and prayers for the Pope in Rome and so forth, but to leave just because a chap likes the lads and not the ladies seems a bit silly.

The fellows down at the Goose and Garter didn’t see eye to eye with me on that one, I’m afraid, but then they’re not especially well educated. They’re good lads, but I suppose one can’t expect them to be as enlightened in these matters as one might like.

Previous Post

July 16, 2009

Kate Schori says Schism is UnChristian

Next Post

July 22, 2009 Relics of St Mary Magdalene

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Anglican Matters Apologetics Architecture Blobble Study Book Reviews Brideshead Caitlin O'Rourke Catholic Art Catholic Culture Church Politics Chust for Nice Contemporary Culture Duane Mandible Ed Blanch Film Reviews Fr Harvey Nicolaitan Frank Viola Mantilla the Hon More Christianity Mrs Brady Catholic Old Lady Mystery of the Magi Norman Anderson Queen Hillary Saints and Supernatural Spirituality The Inklings The Vicar Theology Todd Unctuous Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz