“This Is Where You’ll Go When You Die”

Last updated on: March 7, 2016 at 10:00 am by Nancy Raines

“This Is Where You’ll Go When You Die” 2016-03-05T12:32:54-05:00 Nancy Raines

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Flying together through the darkness, we moved like birds in unison, carving an invisible path only she knew. My beloved older sister, Cathy, had died ten months previously, but her spirit had been my occasional companion ever since, enveloping me with love and reassurance, or propelling me like a rocket into otherworldly space, revealing remarkable sights of the afterlife.

Where were we going this time? Looking around I saw only a hazy grey mist at first, no one and nothing visible, until I glimpsed, far ahead, a small speck of white light. Like a spotlight, the glowing sphere grew as we approached, a round circle of radiance getting larger and brighter.

Coming directly towards the light, we were soon standing at the threshold of a vast sea of white, weightless clouds of ivory, pearl and silver spread before us. But there was no time to stare in wonder. We were moving again, traveling at what felt like great speed through the snowy terrain, until Cathy stopped.

Startled, I looked around and my breath caught. There was my mother, emerging out of the luminous landscape, floating towards me, beaming joyfully. She looked right at me. “Hello darling!” But before I could respond there was another figure drawing near: my grandfather, his face filled with happiness.

At that moment, unbidden, a pang of fear shot through my gut. Where was I? Had Cathy left me here? As if in response, she materialized at my left shoulder, hovering closely. I turned towards her. “Cathy, what is this place?”

“This is the place where you go when you die. That is why mom and grandpa are there. They’ll be here for you when it’s your time, just like I will be.”

Turning back, I saw my mother and grandfather, farther away now, receding back into the mysterious glinting sea of white.

Then, in motion suddenly, we passed back through the round opening to this alabaster firmament and into the darkness, traveling fast. In a flash, I was back in my body, with Cathy still nearby.

Not wanting to wreck the moment by dissolving into sobs, like so many other times, I slowed my breath. “Cathy, stay with me for a while. I want to feel your presence.”

“Nancy, don’t worry about things. Just be happy. Everything is fine. Don’t be sad.”

I knew she would be off soon. But where did she go when she left me? I didn’t like to think that she was drifting alone out there in the universe. Did she feel safe and secure in her new life? “Is that home, Cathy, where you are? Do you feel like you are home?”

But there was no response. Her spirit evaporated like a breeze clearing the air of perfume. All that remained was a faint sense of emptiness. She was gone. With no need now to control my grief, I hung my head and cried.

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