Spiritual Directors as “Good Soil”

Last updated on: July 22, 2015 at 3:15 pm by Teresa Blythe

Spiritual Directors as “Good Soil” 2015-07-22T15:15:11-08:00 Teresa Blythe

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The effectiveness of any spiritual director resides primarily in his or her ability to be a gracious container for whatever story the directee wants to bring to that session. I find Jesus’ story of the parable of the sower helpful in explaining this (Matthew 13:3-9).

Think of the directee as the sower (the farmer) and the director as the soil in which the farmer tosses the seed. Think of the seed as the story.

In the parable, Jesus says our stories will be received in different ways:

The Hard Path – Sadly some spiritual directors just don’t exude empathy. The story falls on unreceptive ears. You know this has happened when you, as directee, have just told your story and the director asks an unrelated question, changes the subject or simply doesn’t get it. When the story falls on the hard path, spiritual direction really doesn’t happen. Birds might as well have come along and carried your story away.

Rocky Ground – This is the experience of having your story received well and a lot of good communication goes on, but as the months go on you realize there’s no depth to the relationship. This can happen when directors talk too much and don’t allow the directee to search their story more deeply. Or when the director is distracted and fails to notice where God is at work. Your story might as well have withered on the vine.

Thorny soil – This is destructive terrain. When spiritual directors become too powerful and misuse their power, your story effectively gets choked. This can occur when spiritual directors don’t like the path you are on and try to forcefully redirect you or when you as directee give them the power to squash your enthusiasm for a call or invitation from God. It is thorny soil when boundaries are crossed and ethical violations occur. When the power dynamic in the relationship shifts and the directee gives up his or her power to a forceful director, damage is done.

Good soil – Well, after three examples of how bad it can get, it’s nice to know that spiritual directors—at our best—can be the kind of soil that allows your story to develop hearty, deep roots in order to flower and grow. “Good soil” directors open their hearts to you and to the Spirit for your benefit. They listen carefully, pay attention to your words and the emotion behind them, and speak only when necessary. They reflect back to you what they notice; share a word of encouragement; offer or invite from you an image; and ask questions that are designed only to help you dig more deeply into your story. Good soil has lasting benefits. It may take you many months of being in spiritual direction to know if you are with a “good soil” director. Once you find one, you usually want to stick around for awhile.

May all your spiritual direction encounters be of the good soil variety.

For more about spiritual direction as I practice it, please check out my website.

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