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Breaking Soul Ties How To Free Yourself from Unhealthy Connections Once And For All

Breaking Soul Ties How To Free Yourself from Unhealthy Connections Once And For All

Last updated on: October 21, 2023 at 6:32 pm by Elle Clark

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Breaking Soul Ties How To Free Yourself from Unhealthy Connections Once And For All 2023-10-21T18:32:36-07:00 Elle Clark

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Soul Ties/Trauma Bonds

Understanding Soul Ties

Soul ties are emotional and spiritual connections people form with other people. Sometimes, these connections are toxic and unhealthy for us. Sometimes, in order to be healthy, we need to break these soul ties.

A good example of a soul tie is when a spouse abuses their spouse and then apologizes, yet it continues to happen. Over time, the abused spouse begins to expect the abuse. Instead of leaving and getting to safety, they go back to the abuser time and time again. That is what the soul tie does. It gives them an unhealthy connection or a trauma bond if you will.

Soul ties go by many names, including trauma bonds and Stockholm syndrome. These bonds are the strong emotional ties that develop over time with a person and their abuser or abusers. Typically, these are marked with manipulation and power. The abuser has the power and manipulates the victim into believing it’s their fault, or they deserve the abuse.

These soul ties are what make it difficult for the victim to leave the abusive situation even though they are being harmed. The victim truly begins to believe that if they comply with the abuser, they will avoid any future harm.

Recognizing Unhealthy Connections

The first step to breaking soul ties is to recognize that the connection is unhealthy. Unhealthy soul ties may include patterns of emotional or physical abuse. They may manifest as codependency or toxic relationships. Over time, these patterns take a toll on the person who begins to feel as if they don’t deserve to be happy.

Abusers manipulate their victims by being kind and affectionate between abusive episodes. The inconsistency creates confusion for the victim, making it more difficult to recognize the soul tie and even more difficult to break away from the soul tie.

It’s easy to get caught up in believing that if the victim did this and that right, the abuse would stop, and their lives would be perfect. This is how soul ties are formed. Once the abuser sees that they’re connected to the soul tie, they will begin the abuse phase. This phase may be short-term or longer-term. The key is that as long as the abuser feels it’s necessary, they will leverage this abuse.

Isolation begins when others try to show the victim that they can leave. This is when the abuser begins working to convince the victim that these so-called friends and family members just want to destroy their happiness. They manipulate the victim into isolating themselves from these friends and family members in an effort to maintain control.

Breaking Free

In order to break free from the soul ties, the victim must first overcome the guilt and shame. On one hand, they know that this isn’t who or what they are; on the other hand, they’re scared to leave. It takes great courage to break a soul tie. It’s like being a drug addict and going cold turkey for many people.

This is a great time to begin journaling and writing things down. Refer back to the journal when you are considering going back. It may also require therapy to maintain the strength required to break the soul tie.

It’s important to seek support from professionals specializing in trauma and abuse to break the soul tie successfully. Breaking a soul tie will take due diligence. The person will have to work hard to rebuild their self-esteem and recognize healthy relationships from toxic relationships.

During this time, the person should seek to rebuild their relationship with themselves. Only when we can love ourselves are we truly able to love another. This is a time to work on personal growth and spend time in self-reflection. Many people jump into another relationship too quickly in an effort to accelerate the process and wind up in an even worse situation because they didn’t take time to heal from the previous situation. Don’t make this mistake.

Moving Forward

You know you are moving forward when you no longer feel the magnetic pull to return to the soul ties. This is where people begin to rebuild their lives. They make new friendships that are healthy. They reconnect with family that they had distanced themselves from and isolated from.

It’s very important to be mindful of setting boundaries and sticking to them. Cultivate healthy relationships and remain vigilant to avoid falling into old patterns. It may require taking a new job or changing your habits so that you don’t drive the same route to work or your favorite haunts. Out of sight, out of mind, if you will, to avoid triggers.

Continue with support groups and counseling for a bit longer to make sure that you’re on solid ground. It’s so easy to let your guard down. Unfortunately, once you let it down, you readily fall back into the old habits that you’ve just worked so hard to break.

Breaking soul ties and freeing yourself from unhealthy connections once and for all can be done if you really want to be free. Liberating yourself from a toxic soul tie is a powerful journey of self-discovery. You can reclaim your life and be free by embracing your desire to be free and making the right choices to break free of these soul ties. Put yourself first and take care of yourself to pave your way to freedom.

About Elle Clark

Elle is a Pastor’s Daughter and has been writing for over three decades. She writes about youth mentoring, addiction recovery, parenting, senior advocacy, gardening and sustainability, and an eclectic mix of other topics. She resides in Northeastern Washington with her husband and children. You can read more about the author here.

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