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Faithful Foundations: A Christian Guide to Preparing for Marriage

Faithful Foundations: A Christian Guide to Preparing for Marriage

Last updated on: September 3, 2023 at 9:01 am by Elle Clark

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Faithful Foundations: A Christian Guide to Preparing for Marriage 2023-09-03T09:01:18-07:00 Elle Clark

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Love and Marriage

Marriage is a significant commitment for any young couple to make. Before a young couple approaches the altar to say their vows, they must consider many important things. While it may start out with profound love for one another, it’s important to understand that love ebbs and flows. A couple must make the commitment for the long haul and be willing to work through the various phases of the relationship.

There are also some important questions that the couple needs to discuss. A good premarital counseling session will help prepare a young couple for facing the many challenges of the relationship. This can help the couple to build a strong foundation for their marriage. Here are some important questions to ask each other in preparation for marriage.

Why do we want to get married?

Marriage is a long-term commitment. It’s not something to be taken lightly. The goal of marriage is to commit to one another for the long haul. Many religions expect the couple to remain together until ‘death do them part. However, the Bible does provide for divorce in specific circumstances.

There are many reasons to get married. While love should be one of them, it’s not the only reason. Living together, sharing finances, and sharing the ups and downs of the day are just a few solid reasons to get married.

For most people, marriage is for life. If you’re unsure about remaining in a committed relationship for the rest of your life, this may not be the time for you to marry. Ask yourself why you want to get married. Is it for love, companionship, financial stability, because your family wants you to, or is there another reason?

Are you ready for the commitment of marriage?

Although many marry in their late teens or early twenties, marriage requires emotional maturity and the ability to work together when challenges present themselves. There are many responsibilities in marriage. It’s important to ask yourselves if you’re both ready for such responsibilities.

What are your long-term goals and values?

What are your long-term goals and values when it comes to life? Being raised in different households, you have preconceived ideas about goals and values. It’s important to discuss what you both value and your long-term goals.

How do you handle conflicts and disagreements?

Conflicts and disagreements are a natural part of life. It’s important that you plan ahead for how you’ll deal with conflicts and disagreements in your marriage. Can you find a way to compromise? If only one of you is willing to compromise and listen to find a resolution, you’re not going to feel very good about the relationship when you have a conflict or disagreement. Plan ahead for how you’ll deal with such issues.

Do you have shared financial expectations and plans?

It’s important to be open and honest about your financial expectations. Will you merge your debt from before you were married? How will you plan out your finances? Who will be responsible for the rent or mortgage? Do you both earn the same? Will you merge your finances, or will you maintain separate accounts?

Do you both want children? If so, how soon?

If you want children, how soon do you plan on having them? How many children do you want? Make sure that you’re on the same page when it comes to children. It’s okay to postpone having children and wait a few years.

In days gone by, it was often assumed that the wife would manage the childcare issues while the husband would be the main breadwinner. However, this isn’t always the case in today’s modern times. Will you use a daycare? A nanny? In-laws? It’s important to have this all planned out ahead of time so that you already have it worked out when the time comes.

How will you divide up the household responsibilities?

In many households, the household chores and responsibilities are divided equally. In other households, one person is expected to do specific chores, and the other person is expected to do others. Perhaps the family of origin has a lot to do with it. Take some time and decide how these responsibilities are lined up. Keep in mind that this can be revisited and changed over the course of the marriage.

What role will religion or spirituality play in the marriage?

It’s not at all unusual for couples to believe slightly differently. Some couples have entirely different beliefs and make it work. Consider your family and religion of origin and your expectations and see if you can find common ground in religion. This is especially important if you plan to have children.

How will you maintain intimacy and affection?

Will you have a date night on a regular basis? Or will you wing it and plan spontaneous activities? How will you maintain intimacy and affection if you have children? It’s important to discuss your expectations for both physical intimacy and your emotional connection. This is very important to maintain the romance in your relationship.

What are your career goals?

In the 1950s, it was assumed that the woman would stay home while the husband would earn a living. It’s no longer that way. In today’s world, it’s not at all unusual for both the husband and the wife to work. How do you plan to support one another, and what are your career goals? Will one of you work part-time and the other one full-time? These are all important questions to ask and have answers to before you’re married.

How will you keep communication and quality time open?

Will you set some time aside weekly that is set in stone, or will you wing it? Will you have regular times that you discuss things? Or will you discuss things as they come up? How will you plan out your quality time when life gets busier?

Have you considered your family dynamics?

Extended family can often lead to misunderstandings. How do you plan to deal with your family dynamics as a couple? Will you visit both sets of parents on the holidays? Will you plan for both sets of parents to visit you? It’s easy to be caught up in family dynamics. It’s important that you’re both on the same page. This may change as children are bought into the relationship or as parents pass on.

Will you want a prenuptial agreement or a legal arrangement?

While prenuptial agreements may seem like an indication that you anticipate the end of your relationship, they are crucial, especially if one partner has a significant inheritance or greater income than the other. Considering that, depending on your financial condition and other factors, you may want to consider a prenuptial agreement or another legal agreement if you find yourselves in disagreement later in your relationship. Furthermore, it is essential to safeguard your assets and clearly understand financial responsibilities. Therefore, it is important to clearly understand each other’s financial situation and obligations and have legal documentation in place to protect your assets in case of disagreement or separation.

How do you envision your future together?

Do you have great expectations? If so, be sure that you’re both on the same page. What is your vision for your future together? Do you plan to live in a specific area or state? Do you have plans for what you’ll own? What about travel plans? Also, you’ll want to consider retirement plans as well. Carefully planning for your future can pave the way to a happier and more fulfilling life.

Are you both willing to invest in the relationship at all times?

Can you give this relationship your all? Are you all in? If you’re not all in and you’re considering marriage, what is holding you back? Marriage is an ongoing commitment. It requires a lot of effort and a lot of time. To have a successful marriage, both partners need to fully commit themselves to overcoming any obstacles that may arise. This requires dedication, effort, and a willingness to work through difficult situations together. It is important to remain committed to the marriage even in the face of challenges.

Open and honest communication is key throughout these discussions. Consider seeking premarital counseling before proceeding with marriage to address any potential disagreements or concerns.

By asking yourselves these questions and discussing them, you may find that you’re not compatible at all, or you may find that you’re very compatible. Open and honest communication is important to your happiness and your future. Are you ready to take the plunge?

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About Elle Clark

Elle is a Pastor’s Daughter and has been writing for over three decades. She writes about youth mentoring, addiction recovery, parenting, senior advocacy, gardening and sustainability, and an eclectic mix of other topics. She resides in Northeastern Washington with her husband and children. You can read more about the author here.

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