Finding Joy in Beautifully Imperfect Parenting

Last updated on: July 16, 2018 at 10:39 am by Sarah Hamaker

Finding Joy in Beautifully Imperfect Parenting 2018-06-30T18:42:39+00:00 Sarah Hamaker

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

My 6-year-old comes up to me, a hopeful expression in her eyes. “Mom, can I have some Girl Scout cookies?”

My response is automatic. “No, sweetie, it is almost dinnertime.”

As she walks away, I overhear her tell her friend, “We will ask her again in a few minutes because she won’t remember she said no.”

Raising children is tough. No one will disagree with that statement. Raising them as a stroke survivor is tougher. It presents a whole new set of challenges. Physical limitations as well as cognitive deficits can be real sources of frustration.

My husband and I have discussed ways that I can effectively manage my deficits while parenting our daughter. Based on the scenario I just shared, you probably realize that she is smart. I mean really smart.

I constantly worry about the future. If she is already crafting ways to use my inabilities against me at six years old, what is it going to be like when she’s 15? How will I be able to manage her effectively?

I want to be the parent she needs me to be. I want to be the mother she deserves.

For example, she asked me to braid her hair this morning before school. This is a relatively simple task for most mothers. It’s not for me. Because I can’t feel my right hand very well, I lack the dexterity necessary to accomplish this task. I did my best and I tried multiple times, but it did not work. I ended up doing pigtails instead.

She left this morning in tears because I could not braid her hair like she wanted. What she doesn’t realize is that I was also holding back tears. I was even more frustrated at my inability to braid than she was.

I shut my eyes, took a deep breath and prayed. I prayed for peace. I prayed that He show me joy. And He did. I started putting together supplies to do a craft that afternoon. Because I no longer work post stroke, I am home when my daughter gets off the bus. I get to watch her best friend as well after school. We go to the library, we get to play outside, and we get to go to the park. Today, we get to do various crafts.

StockSnap/Pixabay

My disabilities give me the opportunity to do these things with them after school. I now have time. My daughter’s hair may not be in braids today, but a few minutes of doing crafts this afternoon, and she will have forgotten all about it.

As for the future? I’m taking it one day at a time, convinced that as she grows, God will give me the wisdom and grace to be the mom she needs. And really, isn’t that what every mother wants?

About Sarah Conaway
Sarah Conaway is a writer and speaker with Wholly Loved Ministries, and co-leads a stroke survivor’s ministry called the Stromies. You can find her on Twitter @three_stromies.

Some Assembly Required

stroke

Previous Post

July 13, 2018

How to Handle Tantrums

Next Post

July 20, 2018 Should You Play With Your Kids?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Article blog Gallery Guest blog Interview Question and answer video

Select a Month November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz