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Hating One’s Family and a More Equitable World for All

Hating One’s Family and a More Equitable World for All

Last updated on: September 4, 2025 at 12:53 pm by Herb Montgomery

Hating One’s Family and a More Equitable World for All 2025-09-04T12:53:07-04:00 Herb Montgomery

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Hating One's Family and a More Equitable World for All

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Luke 14 isn’t about hating family as we think about family today. It is about economics. Jesus wasn’t against family, but was critiquing the economic system of his day. Jesus called his followers away from the family-based economic system that harmed widows and fatherless children who had lost their patriarch, and pointed them to a community-based economic system rooted in access and acceptance, one where social safety nets took care of all in need whether they were family or not. In our passage this week, Jesus is calling his listeners to value their commitment to justice, inclusion, and equity above their commitment to their system of economic survival through family.

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This is Part 3 of Hating One’s Family

(Read this series from its beginning here.)

In Ched Myers’ book Binding the Strong Man: A Political Reading of Mark’s Story of Jesus, Myers writes, “Among members of a family, goods and services were freely given (full reciprocity)” (p. 48). Members of a clan or family would often give each other help, care, and gifts, but they also balanced giving with receiving. Members balanced reciprocity: receiving help and being expected to serve the family’s needs as well. In our reading this week, Jesus is calling his audience to stand with justice even when that stance potentially jeopardizes their connection to a family that is powerful, propertied, and privileged.

What I wish our reading this week did not include is the word “hate.” Jesus declares, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” At first glance, this statement is shocking and appears contradictory to Jesus’ message of love and parental honor. However, many Biblical scholars and theologians interpret the phrase not as a literal command to hate, but as a Semitic expression of comparison.

In the cultural and linguistic context of the time, the word “hate” was often used hyperbolically to emphasize preference or priority, not emotional hostility. Jesus is making a radical claim: that loyalty to social justice must come before all other allegiances including the closest of human relationships, especially if those relationships offer us a level of privilege. It’s a call to total commitment where discipleship demands putting justice, love, compassion, and equity above every other cherished bond.

This teaching reflects the high cost of following Jesus’ vision for a safe, compassionate, just home for everyone in a world opposed to such. Jesus often warned that discipleship would divide families (cf. Luke 12:49-59), not because of hatred, but because devotion to him and his vision of a just society could lead to social and relational conflict. The “hatred” that Jesus references is therefore symbolic: it represents willingness to forsake all for the sake of the gospel.

Ultimately, the phrase challenges those on the side of justice to evaluate their priorities and confront the cost of true discipleship. It is not about rejecting family, but radically reordering love and loyalty and making justice, equity, compassion, and safety for all the supreme focus. In this light, the phrase becomes a powerful statement of commitment to a more just world in the face of potential rejection by a family upon whom our survival depends. It’s not a statement of cruelty or a call to reject family members if they don’t align with our religious beliefs. This difference may seem subtle, but it makes a world of difference in the work of justice.

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Politics and Religion

About Herb Montgomery

Herb Montgomery, director of Renewed Heart Ministries, is an author and adult religious re-educator helping Christians explore the intersection of their faith with love, compassion, action, and societal justice. You can read more about the author here.

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