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September 2026

September 22, 2026

Silicon Valley Stole Our Apocalypse

American Christianity got into the End Times business early enough that we should retain the...

March 2026

March 24, 2026

You Can’t Shame People Back Into Reality

I’ve called MAGA a cult. Not as a metaphor. I meant it. I’ve watched people...

February 2026

February 03, 2026

John Winebrenner and the Birth of the Evangelical Hustle

You’ve probably never heard of John Winebrenner. There’s a reason for that. He’s not the...

January 2026

January 29, 2026

Eating the End Times

A man predicts the return of Jesus with a countdown clock. He misses. He revises....

January 27, 2026

Revelation Came and Went. We Kept the Machinery.

The world is burning. That’s no longer a fringe observation—it’s background noise. Ecological collapse, political...

December 2025

December 09, 2025

Christmas Is Socialist and Unchristian (And You Know It)

Every December, America re-enacts the same ritual: we crank up the electric bill, panic-buy scented...

December 02, 2025

The Real Reason We Don’t Have a 666 Area Code

Before we even get into the satire, let's start with an actual historical fact that...

November 2025

November 11, 2025

When Empires Burn Themselves Down

Empires rarely die in battle. They die in shame. Not with a roar, but with...

November 04, 2025

Hosea vs. Hosanna

American Christianity has a soundtrack problem. We’ve got the praise playlist on repeat—loud, triumphant, and...

October 2025

October 21, 2025

We Are All Allentown Now

“Every child had a pretty good shot / To get at least as far as...

September 2025

September 30, 2025

Survival Tips for Life in the Authoritarian Slow-Cooker

“Hypodermics on the shore, China’s under martial law / Rock and roller, cola wars—I can’t...

September 23, 2025

The Power of Pious PR

When I graduated high school, one of my closest friends left to be a Mormon...

September 12, 2025

The Twisted Math of American Violence

Every time there’s a mass shooting in America, we’re handed the same buffet of scapegoats:...

September 09, 2025

America’s Feeder Kink

Welcome to the Fetish Economy You’ve seen the memes. You’ve shouted the slogans. Eat the...

August 2025

August 27, 2025

The Parable of the Snark

We’ve reached a point in American Christianity where the name of Jesus gets invoked more...

July 2025

July 09, 2025

When “Thus Saith the Lord” Becomes a Brand Slogan

It's prophecy season again — and wouldn’t you know it? God’s apparently very concerned with...

May 2025

May 26, 2025

The Gospel According to the Pentagon

America loves its myths. Apple pie. Bootstraps. A flag planted on the moon. But perhaps...

May 14, 2025

You Can’t Serve Two Masters (But America Keeps Trying)

Let’s just say the quiet part out loud: nationalism and Christianity are not friends. They...

May 09, 2025

We Got a New Pope. Cool. So Now What?

White smoke rose, the bells rang, and just like that—we’ve got a new pope. Enter...

April 2025

April 30, 2025

Trump 2.0: When God Loves You Enough to Break You

Trump 2.0: When God Loves You Enough to Break You Fox News recently declared that...

April 23, 2025

The Great Awakening (To Our Own Stupidity)

Remember when religious revivals were all the rage? The tent meetings, the sweaty preachers, the...

April 16, 2025

Why the Trinity Doesn’t Matter If We Don’t Love

Easter is this Sunday, and while most churches were busy declaring victory over sin and...

March 2025

March 12, 2025

How to Deal with Seriously Unserious People in Power

It used to be that if you wanted a career in politics, you at least...

February 2025

February 26, 2025

How American Christianity Grooms People to Embrace Fascism

There’s an old saying: If you want to know what people really believe, watch what...

February 14, 2025

❤️ Valentine’s Day: From Sacred to Secular

Valentine’s Day: A time for love, romance, and an overpriced racket of chocolates and wilted...

December 2024

December 10, 2024

Faith That Moves Mountains… Or Just Builds Molehills?

When Jesus said faith could move mountains, I doubt he meant rearranging molehills and calling...

November 2024

November 26, 2024

How to Survive Thanksgiving with Your Sanity and Soul Intact

I know many of you are still marinating in that dirty, post-election depression, stuck playing...

June 2024

June 05, 2024

I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore

Lately, I’ve been feeling like a stranger in the place I once called home. The...

May 2024

May 09, 2024

Trump, Evangelicals, and the Dance of Hypocrisy

In the ever-shifting sands of American evangelical ideology, one might expect biblical teachings on morality...

April 2024

April 18, 2024

How Christians Become Targets for Grifters and Conspiracies

It’s an ironic twist that a religion founded on the teachings of a truth-seeking Messiah...