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March 2026

March 26, 2026

When Ego Becomes Policy

We've seen this before. Not the details — those always change. Different headlines, different enemies,...

March 24, 2026

You Can’t Shame People Back Into Reality

I’ve called MAGA a cult. Not as a metaphor. I meant it. I’ve watched people...

March 17, 2026

Poe’s Law, but Make It Biblical

There’s an old internet rule called Poe’s Law: without a clear wink, parody and sincerity...

March 10, 2026

The Heated Rivalry of David and Jonathan

Christians insist the Bible is crystal clear about everything. Especially sex. Gender. Marriage. Morality. Apparently...

March 03, 2026

Megatron Is a Gun (And That’s the First Clue)

In the original Transformers cartoon, Megatron transforms into a gun. Not a tank. Not a...

February 2026

February 24, 2026

Quoting Scripture Isn’t Authority—It’s Insecurity

There was a time when quoting scripture functioned as authority. Not because it was magic,...

February 17, 2026

The Women Who Keep the Church Patriarchal

The church often talks about patriarchy as something men do to women. That’s partly true...

February 14, 2026

What Evangelical Churches Were Really Teaching About Love

Before you could get married in many evangelical churches, you had to complete a small...

February 10, 2026

Why Christian Nationalism Runs on Grievance, Not Faith

Christian Nationalism is exhausting to argue with because it doesn’t behave like a belief system....

February 05, 2026

This Isn’t Ignorance. It’s Loyalty.

There are moments when the moral lines are drawn in blood, not ink. Protesters gunned...

February 03, 2026

John Winebrenner and the Birth of the Evangelical Hustle

You’ve probably never heard of John Winebrenner. There’s a reason for that. He’s not the...

January 2026

January 29, 2026

Eating the End Times

A man predicts the return of Jesus with a countdown clock. He misses. He revises....

January 27, 2026

Revelation Came and Went. We Kept the Machinery.

The world is burning. That’s no longer a fringe observation—it’s background noise. Ecological collapse, political...

January 22, 2026

Apocalypse as Permission

On January 6, people wrapped in Christian symbols and American flags smashed their way into...

January 20, 2026

Apocalypse as Protest, Not Prediction

If you grew up in the evangelical terrordome, you were probably told that apocalyptic texts...

January 15, 2026

The Theology That Taught Christians How to Leave

American Christianity didn’t accidentally become obsessed with escape. The fixation on rapture timelines, prophetic spectacle,...

January 13, 2026

John Nelson Darby and the Invention of the Rapture

Most American Christians assume the rapture is ancient doctrine—etched into Scripture, whispered by the early...

January 08, 2026

#RaptureTok and the Gospel of Escape

Britney Spears promised us this would already be over. In 2011, Till the World Ends...

January 06, 2026

How Stranger Things & Revelation Turn Endings Into Spectacle

Apocalypse stories don’t fail because they lack imagination. They fail because they lose interest in...

December 2025

December 30, 2025

Chloroform in Paper and How We Sedated Faith

Mark Twain once dropped the hammer on the Book of Mormon, calling it “chloroform in...

December 23, 2025

No Monks, More Misogyny

How Evangelicalism’s Hollow Spirituality Bred Patriarchy Other Christian traditions gave the world monasteries—places of prayer,...

December 18, 2025

The Sound That Slipped Through the Walls

I grew up in a house where fear was faith and silence was safety. No...

December 16, 2025

Matthew 24 Was Never About the Rapture — It Was a Warning

Evangelicals love Matthew 24 the way doomsday preppers love canned beans — not because it’s...

December 09, 2025

Christmas Is Socialist and Unchristian (And You Know It)

Every December, America re-enacts the same ritual: we crank up the electric bill, panic-buy scented...

December 02, 2025

The Real Reason We Don’t Have a 666 Area Code

Before we even get into the satire, let's start with an actual historical fact that...

November 2025

November 25, 2025

Why I’d Rather Sit with a Skeptic than a Saint

Transcendentalism and I would probably make decent drinking buddies. Not best friends. Not partners in...

November 20, 2025

The Church Isn’t the Bride — She’s the Whore

If Christianity were a marriage, it’d be the kind that ends in a true-crime podcast....

November 18, 2025

Moravec’s Paradox, but Make It Biblical

Moravec’s Paradox says the stuff we think should be hard—math, logic, abstraction—is actually pretty easy...

November 11, 2025

When Empires Burn Themselves Down

Empires rarely die in battle. They die in shame. Not with a roar, but with...

November 04, 2025

Hosea vs. Hosanna

American Christianity has a soundtrack problem. We’ve got the praise playlist on repeat—loud, triumphant, and...