Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
LBCF, No. 125: ‘Is the pope Catholic?’

LBCF, No. 125: ‘Is the pope Catholic?’

Last updated on: March 10, 2017 at 7:07 am by Fred Clark

LBCF, No. 125: ‘Is the pope Catholic?’ 2017-03-10T07:07:35-05:00 Fred Clark

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Originally posted August 17, 2007.

Read this entire series, for free, via the convenient Left Behind Index. This post is also part of the ebook collection The Anti-Christ Handbook: Volume 1, available on Amazon for just $2.99. Volume 2 of The Anti-Christ Handbook, completing all the posts on the first Left Behind book, is also now available.

Left Behind, pp. 318-320

Stanton Bailey, the publisher of Global Weekly and therefore Buck Williams’ boss, has some breaking news for his young senior writer:

“Steve here tells me this will be news to you, so let me just drop it on you. He is resigning immediately to accept the position of international press secretary to Nicolae Carpathia. He’s received an offer we can’t come close to, and while I don’t think it’s wise or a good fit, he does, and it’s his life. What do you think about that?”

Buck couldn’t contain himself. “I think it stinks. Steve, what are you thinking of? You’re going to move to Romania?”

“I’ll be headquartered here, Buck. At the Plaza.”

So Steve will be getting a raise by moving to the public sector — the Romanian public sector. And neither he nor Buck — nor even Bailey, who pays the bills at Global Weekly — thinks that seems unusual.

Just this week President Bush’s press secretary, Tony Snow, talked about leaving the post “for financial reasons” because his $168,000 annual salary is less than he could make as, say, the executive editor of some weekly newsmagazine. Maybe Snow will solve his financial problems by going to work for Traian Basescu (the real-world president of Romania). The idea that $168,000 a year is a hardship may sound strange to most Americans — and to most earthlings — but that’s how the world looks to wealthy executives like Tony Snow or Steve Plank. No government job could compete with the income such people make in the private sector. And if the White House can’t compete salary-wise, I’m guessing Cotroceni Palace can’t either.

I don’t think LaHaye and Jenkins intended for Steve’s lavish new salary to seem strange. I think this is how they assume the world works. People who work for the government are really important and they’re on TV a lot, so L&J figure they must make more money than anybody else.* And since they’re certain that all governments will soon, as prophesied, merge into One World Government, they figure it doesn’t matter whether Steve works for Washington or Bucharest.

Steve’s whole arrangement reeks of scandal. Steve Plank — who doesn’t speak a word of the language and has never been to the country — has apparently just become the highest-paid official in the Romanian government. He’ll be working in New York — and not even from the Romanian consulate near the United Nations, but from a hotel. You’d think the Romanian press would be all over this. The journalistic brain-trust at the Weekly, however, doesn’t see anything suspicious at all in any of this.

Steve asks Buck if Nicolae had offered him the job first and Buck tells him that actually he had recommended rude rival reporter Eric Miller for the job:

Plank recoiled and shot a glance at Bailey. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not? He’s more the type.”

“Buck,” Steve said, “Eric Miller’s body washed up on Staten Island last night. He fell off the ferry and drowned.”

“Well,” Bailey said summarily, “enough of that ugly business. Steve has recommended you to replace him.”

Buck was still reeling from the news about Miller, but he heard the offer. “Oh, please,” he said, “you’re not serious.”

My theory here is that Stanton Bailey is in cahoots with Carpathia, Stonagal and the rest. Notice how he says “that ugly business” rather than something more human-sounding like “that sad business.” Steve buys the half-baked cover story that Miller “fell off the ferry,” but Bailey’s choice of words shows that he knows that some “ugly business” was involved. Then, realizing that Buck looks a bit shaken and might start putting the pieces together, Bailey abruptly changes the subject, distracting Buck with the prospect of a big raise of his own.

“You wouldn’t want the job?” Bailey asked. “Shape the magazine, determine the coverage, still write the top stories yourself? Sure you would. By policy it would almost double your salary, and if that’s what it took to get you to agree, I’d guarantee it.”

Tempting offer — Buck would keep doing all the work he’s (allegedly) doing now, plus he’d take on all of Steve’s managerial responsibilities. In return for doing twice the work, Bailey tells him, his salary would “almost double.”

Oddly, Buck has no problem with that aspect of the offer, but he whines a bit about how the staff thinks he’s too young:

“But they’d never give me the benefit of the doubt. They’d be in here undermining me and complaining from day one.”

(Now I’m picturing Buck as Eric Cartman in a policeman’s outfit.)

Bailey tells him not to worry about it:

“They’d complain if we brought in the pope himself.”

“I thought he was missing.”

“You know what I mean …”

L&J apparently believe that Pope John Paul II (the book was written in 1995) was a Real True Christian who would have been taken in the Rapture. That’s notable because, from their perspective, most Roman Catholics are not. There’s a long tradition of anti-Catholicism among the PMD prophecy enthusiasts and “the pope” is usually on their short list of suspected Antichrists.

The idea of a papal Antichrist endures because while premillennial dispensationalists insist that the book of Revelation has nothing to do with the Roman Empire of the time when it was written, they still have to account for why Rome plays such a prominent role in the Apocalypse. The idea also endures because many PMDs are the sort of American fundamentalists who really don’t like Catholics. Over the past several decades, as evangelicals and Catholics have both gotten more involved in the Republican Party, some of that animosity has given way to a somewhat uneasy alliance. The fact that they consider one another heretics has become less important to them than the fact that they both want to elect presidents who will appoint judges who will overturn Roe v. Wade. L&J’s olive branch to Catholicism here — not only is the pope not the Antichrist, he’s even a Rapture-worthy RTC — may arise from this political alliance. Or maybe they just didn’t want to have to deal with Bill Donohue. Unlike L&J’s fictional stand-in for John Paul II, however, most of the Catholics in Left Behind are among the doomed and the damned who missed the Rapture.

The chapter ends with Buck asking for 24 hours to think over the job offer. Bailey agrees and tells the others not to tell anyone about their new jobs:

“Plank, anybody else know about you?”

“Only Marge.”

“We can trust her. She’ll never tell a soul. I had a three-year affair with her and never worried about anybody finding out.”

Steve and Buck flinched.

“Well,” Bailey said, “you never knew, did you?” …

He waited a beat. “I’m kidding, boys. I’m kidding!”

He was still laughing as they left the office.

As weirdly out of place and out of tune with the rest of the book as that bit is, the image it presents — the executive laughing a bit too loudly at his own inappropriate joke — strikes me as one of the most realistic in the book.

– – – – – – – – – – – –

* In 1930, after he signed a huge contract with the Yankees, Babe Ruth was asked why he should be earning more than President Hoover. “I had a better year than he did,” the Babe said. This year, Adam Eaton is making more than 14 times what President Bush is. (To be fair Eaton, whose 6.36 ERA is worst in the league, may still be having a better year than Bush.)

Uncategorized

Left Behind

Previous Post

March 9, 2017

I don't know a dream that's not been shattered

Next Post

March 10, 2017 Make Neptune Great Again

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category class warfare evangelicals Iraq Left Behind Mammon music Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who healed a blind man by making mud and placing it on his eyes?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Peter Moses Elijah Jesus