The more important point about “-lover” suffix insults

Last updated on: September 15, 2016 at 8:42 pm by Fred Clark

The more important point about “-lover” suffix insults 2016-09-15T20:42:03-04:00 Fred Clark

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Right, OK, so we were discussing the alt-right habit of using insults that are not actually derogatory. Then I distracted myself with a discussion of the problems with attempting to use “-lover” as a pejorative suffix and wound up getting off track in what turned out to be an overlong pig-f–ker joke. (Slacktivist: Visit for the theology; stay for the pig-f–king jokes.)

What I’d meant to say before veering off there was that these attempted insults with the “-lover” suffix are quite telling. They’re also quite offensive — deliberately so. (Even though they’re often accompanied by a fierce rejection of all the terms appropriately available for describing the use of such epithets and slurs. One of the recurring delights of online life is having someone sling a string of ethnic slurs at you because they’re outraged that you suggested they might be a bigot.)

The epithets and slurs in question being, well, things like “Jew-lover,” “fag-lover,” and “nigger-lover.” This is language that was, until very recently, noncontroversially regarded as “deplorable.”

And yes, the Venn diagram between those who have directed those “insults” toward me and those who have also called me an “SJW” has a very, very large overlapping oval in the middle of it.

To be generous, it’s likely that this colors my response to the tiny waning crescent of anti-SJW folks who haven’t (yet) also employed these other terms. That may be particularly unfair to the even-tinier sliver of those who don’t even seem like they want to say such things and desperately wish they’d be allowed to. So let me be clear: Those folks shouldn’t be deemed guilty by association. They should not be judged according to what others have said and they have not. But they can — and must — be judged for their willingness and eagerness to choose to ally themselves with their less verbally cautious teammates.

Anyway, the point is that these “-lover” insults are not any kind of insult at all. Despite their deliberate attempt to include harshly derogatory slurs, all they manage to communicate is the “accusation” that someone loves — that they love Jewish people, black people, LGBT people.

And, well, that’s what everyone is supposed to do. If you’re not, say, a deplorable Westboro Baptist cultist worshipping a hateful god of hate, then loving others simply means you’re fulfilling your greatest potential as a human being and living a rich life full of purpose and meaning.

I appreciate that these “insults” haven’t been directed at me because of any actual track record of demonstrating such love on my part. I can’t let this go to my head. I wish that were the case — that I were being singled out as someone who was exceptionally loving toward his Jewish, LGBT and black neighbors, someone shaped and defined by that love.

But, of course, that’s not what’s going on when they hurl these attempted insults. Even though these words were fired in my direction, these folks weren’t really talking about me at all, but about themselves. They were saying “This is who I am because this is who I hate, and who I hate defines who I am.”

That’s a horrible way to go through life, and it would be pitiably wretched — if not for the very long trail of bodies and tangible harm this hateful ideology has left behind it.

But even though these “insults” weren’t something I particularly earned, I still hear them as a challenge to be worthy of them one day. When someone calls me an “SJW” and a “______-lover,” all I can think is that I hope someday to live up to such high praise. Alas, I am nowhere near as adept or effective at such love as I hope to be, or as I believe that Jesus has called and commanded us all to be. But I’m trying and I’ll keep trying.

So to my neighbors who have attempted to insult me with these honorable honorifics, let me say this: Thank you for the reminder of our calling and our purpose in life. I will strive to do better to achieve the great and beautiful vision you have described for us all.

Oh, and while I have your attention, let me also say this: STFU you miserable racist turdrags. I hope you find repentance and redemption, but I worry that it would require an epiphany of self-knowledge likely to be fatal to someone like you. May you spend your days surrounded by others whose spiteful, shriveled souls are a perfect, hideous reflection of your own.

(Someday I also hope to be worthy of the epithet “enemy-lover,” but I ain’t there yet.)

Previous Post

September 14, 2016

No, 'SJW' is not used to deflate pompous Comstockian moralists. That's not how it's used at all.

Next Post

September 16, 2016 LBCF, No. 99: 'Boutros Boutros Carpathia 2'

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category class warfare evangelicals Iraq Left Behind Mammon music Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who replaced Haman as the king's chief adviser?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Ezra Sanballat Zerubbabel Mordecai