Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Religious Music and Entertainment
David Chase’s eulogy for James Gandolfini

David Chase’s eulogy for James Gandolfini

Last updated on: June 27, 2013 at 6:02 pm by Sister Rose

David Chase’s eulogy for James Gandolfini 2013-06-27T18:02:40-06:00 Sister Rose

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

1961 – 2013

David Chase’s eulogy for James Gandolfini June 28, 2013

Earlier this morning, friends, family, and hundreds of fans gathered to pay their respects to James Gandolfini at Manhattan’s Cathedral Church of Saint John the Divine. Four mourners — Gandolfini’s wife, Deborah Lin Gandolfini; his assistant, Thomas Richardson; his acting coach, Susan Aston; and his old boss, Sopranos creator David Chase — delivered eulogies at the service.

A transcript of Chase’s speech, which he structured as a letter to his late friend, is reprinted below.

________________

Dear Jim,

Your family asked me to speak at this service. I am so honored and touched. I’m also really scared, and I say that because you, of all people, understand this. I would like to run away and then call you four days from now from the beauty parlor. [Ed. note: That’s a reference to a 2002 incident in which Gandolfini disappeared from the set of The Sopranos, eventually calling the show’s production office four days later from a beauty salon in Brooklyn.]

I want to do a good job because I love you, and because you always did a good job.

I think the deal is, I’m supposed to speak about the actor, the artist, the work part of your life. Others will have spoken beautifully about the other beautiful and magnificent parts of you — father, brother, friend. That’s what I was told. I’m supposed to also speak for your cast mates, who you loved; for your crew that you loved so much; the people at HBO; and Journey. I hope I can speak for all of them and pay credit to them and to you.

Experts told me to start with a joke, recite a funny anecdote. Ha ha ha. But as you yourself so often said, “I’m not feelin’ it.” I’m too sad and full of despair. I’m running too partly because I would like to have had your advice, because I remember how you did speeches. I saw you do a lot of them at awards shows and stuff, and invariably, I think you would scratch two or three thoughts on a sheet of paper and put it in your pocket, and then not really refer to it. And consequently, a lot of your speeches didn’t make sense.

I think that could happen here. Except in your case, it didn’t matter if it didn’t make sense because the feeling was real. The feeling was real. The feeling was real. I can’t say that enough.

I tried to write a traditional eulogy, but it came out like bad TV. So I’m writing you this letter and I’m hoping it’s better. But it is being done to and for an audience, so we’ll give the funny opening a try. I hope it is funny. It is to me; I know it is to you.

One day toward the end of the show, fourth season — four or five — we were on the set shooting a scene with you and Steven Van Zandt. I think the setup was that Tony had received news of the death of someone and it was inconvenient for him. And it said, “Tony opens the [refrigerator] door angrily, and Tony starts to speak.” And the cameras rolled, and you opened the refrigerator door, and you slammed it really hard. You slammed it hard enough that it came open again. And so then you slammed it again, and it came open again. You kept slamming it, and slamming it, and slamming it, and slamming it. You went apesh-t on that refrigerator.

And the funny part for me was, I remember Steven Van Zandt — because the cameras were going, and we had to play this whole scene with the refrigerator door open. And I remember Steven Van Zandt staying there, standing, and trying to figure out, “Well, what should I do first as Silvio? Because he just ruined my refrigerator.” And also as Steven the actor, because we were going to play a scene with the refrigerator door open; people don’t do that. And I remember him going, sort of trying to tinker with the door, fix the door.

And so we finally had to call “cut,” and we had to fix the refrigerator door — and it never really worked, because the gaffer tape showed, we couldn’t get a new refrigerator, and it was a problem all day long. I remember you saying, “This role, this role. The places it takes me to, the things I have to do. It’s so dark.” And I remember saying to you, “Did I tell you to destroy the refrigerator? Did it say anywhere in the script, ‘Tony destroys a refrigerator’? It says ‘Tony angrily shuts the refrigerator door.’ That’s what it says. You destroyed the refrigerator.”

Another memory that comes to mind is, very early on — might have been the pilot — we were shooting in that really hot summer, humid New Jersey heat. And I looked over and you were sitting in an aluminum beach chair, with your slacks rolled up to your knees, and black socks, black shoes. And a damp, wet handkerchief on your head. And I remember looking over there and going, “Well, that’s really not a cool look.”

I was filled with love, and I knew then that I was in the right place. Because I said, “Wow, I haven’t seen that done since my father used to do it, and my Italian uncles used to do it, and my Italian grandfather used to do it. They were laborers in the same hot sun in New Jersey, and they were stonemasons — your father, I know, worked with concrete. I don’t know what it is with Italians and cement.

I was so proud of our heritage. [His voice breaks.] It made me so proud of our heritage, seeing you do that. I said before that you were my brother. This has a lot to do with that. Italian-American, Italian worker, builder, the Jersey thing. The same social class. I really feel, even though I’m a lot older than you, I’ve always felt that we are brothers, hardly from another mother. It was really based on that day. I was filled with so much love for everything that we were doing, that we were about to embark on.

I also feel you’re my brother in that we had different tastes, but the things that we both loved — which was family, work, the people in all their imperfection, food, alcohol, talking, rage, and a desire to bring the whole structure crashing down. We amused each other.

The image of my uncles and father reminded me about something that happened between us one time. Because these guys were such men — that was the point of it. Your father, and these men from Italy. And you were going through a crisis of faith, about yourself, and a few other things. Very upset. I went to meet you on the banks of the Hudson River, and you told me, you said, “You know what I want to be? I want to be a man. That’s all. I want to be a man.”

Now, this is so odd, because you were such a man. You’re a man in ways many men, including myself, wish they could be a man. The paradox about you as a man is that I always felt personally that with you, I was seeing a young boy. A boy about Michael [Gandolfini]‘s age right now. Because you were very boyish. And about that age when humankind and life on the planet are opening up and putting on a show, really revealing themselves in all their beautiful and horrible glory. And I saw you as a boy, as a sad boy, amazed and confused and loving and amazed by all that.

And that was all in your eyes. And that was why, I think, you were a great actor — is because of that boy that was inside. It was a child reacting. Of course you were intelligent, but it was a child reaction, and your reactions were often childish. And by that I mean they were pre-school, they were pre-manners, they were pre-intellect. They were just simple emotions, straight and pure. And I think your talent is that you can take in the immensity of humankind and the universe and shine it back out to the rest of us like a huge, bright light. And I believe that only a pure soul, like a child, could do that really well. And that was you.

Now, to talk about a third guy between us — there was you and me and this third guy. People always say, “Tony Soprano. Why do we love him so much when he was such a prick?” And my theory was they saw the little boy. They felt and they loved the little boy, and they sensed his love and hurt. And you brought all of that to him.

You were a good boy. Your work with the Wounded Warriors is just one example. And I’m going to say something because I know you’d want me to say it — that no one should forget Tony Sirico’s efforts in this. He was there with you all the way, and in fact, you said to me just recently, “You know, it’s more Tony than me.” And I know you, and I know you would want me to turn the spotlight on him, or you couldn’t be satisfied.

So Tony Soprano never changed, people say. He got darker. I don’t know how they could misunderstand that. He tried, and he tried, and he tried. And you tried, and you tried, more than most of us, and harder than most of us, and sometimes you tried too hard. That refrigerator is one example. Sometimes your efforts were a cost to you and to others. But you tried. And I’m thinking about the fact, like, how nice you were to strangers on the street, fans, photographers. You would be patient and loving and personable. And then finally, you would just do too much, and then you’d snap. And that’s of course what we read about, the snapping.

I was asked to talk about the work, and so I’ll talk about the show we used to do and how we used to do it. I guess everybody knows we always ended an episode with a song. And that was kind of like, letting the great geniuses do the heavy lifting — Bruce [Springsteen] and Nick [Lowe] and Keith [Richards] and Howling Wolf, and a bunch of them.

So if this was an episode, we would end with a song. And the song, as far as I’m concerned, would be Joan Osborne’s “What If God Was One of Us.” And the setup for this — we never did this, you never even heard of this. But the setup was, Tony was somehow lost in the Meadowlands. He didn’t have his car and his wallet, and his car keys. And I forget how he got there — there was some kind of a story. But he had nothing in his pocket but some change. He didn’t have his guys with him. He didn’t have his gun.

And so mob boss Tony Soprano is like one of the working stiffs, getting in line to get on the bus. And the way we were going to film it, he was going to get on the bus. And the lyric that would have gone over that would have been — we don’t have Joan Osborne here to sing it — “If God had a face/What would it look like?/And would you want to see/If seeing meant that you would have to believe?/And yeah, yeah/God is great/Yeah, yeah/God is good/Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

So Tony would get on the bus, and he would sit there, and the bus would pull out of this big billowy haze of smoke. And then the key lyric would come on, and it was: “What if God was one of us/Just a slob like one of us/Just a stranger on the bus/Trying to make his way home?” And that would be playing over your face, Jimmy.

But then — and this is where it gets kind of strange — now, we would have to update it, because of the events of the last week. And I would let the song play further, and the lyrics would be, “Just trying to make his way home/Like a holy rollin’ stone/Back up to heaven all alone/Nobody callin’ on the phone/Except the pope, maybe in Rome.”

Love,
David

Adult Faith Formation

eulogy james gandolfini

eulogy sopranos

imaginary episode sopranos

James Gandolfini

joan osborn

one of us

what if god were one of us

Previous Post

June 22, 2013

First place award from the Catholic Press Association for Sr. Rose

Next Post

June 27, 2013 Mother Dolores Hart makes the front page in the Culver City News: book signing 6/29 here 1-4pm

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Adolescent Adult Faith Formation Advertising Analysis Animals Pets Animation art Authors Awards best pope pictures Bible BioPic Blogs Book Reviews Books books into film Catechesis Catholic comedy Catholic Social Teaching Catholic Social Teaching (CST) Catholics in Media Christian genre Christmas movies Church and cinema Cognitive science Comedy Comics Commerntary Communication Cooking Courses Critics and Criticism Dance Daughters of St Paul news Devil movies digital games Documentary Drama Economics Ecumenical Education and Technology Education: Access and Empowerment electronic Environment Events Exorcism movies Eye on Entertainment Faith and film Faith formation Fantasy Film Essays Film Festivals Film History Film Retreat Film Reviews Film TV about Ultra Orthodox Jews Food General Grace Historical thriller History Horror How to Images INNdustry with Sister Rose Internet Interviews jesuits Kindness Lectures Lent Life Lists Literature media Media analysis Media Literacy/Media Mindfulness Music Musical National Catholic Reporter New on DVD Non-violence Nonviolence Obituaries On Faith and Media Oscars Ovis et bovis et universe pecore Parenting Pastoral Communication Pastoral communications Pauline Books & Media pax christi PCMS & Online Courses Peace Philosophy Photos Planning for Communication pope francis Popular Culture Radio RCL Benziger reality tv Reflections on life and grace religion Religious Lif Research Resources Retreat Rosary Sacraments Science and faith Social justice Social Media spirituality Spirituality and Media Sports Sr Rose Faith and Media Sr. Rose movies St. Anthony Messenger Stage & Theater stereotypes story Streaming series Survey Television the bible the bible movie The INNdustry with Sr Rose the voice Theater Themes of Catholic Social Teaching theologizing violence Theology theology of violence TV reviews and notes Uncategorized Video Video games Violence VR Games War War films Women World Film Young Adult YouTube

Select a Month September 2025 March 2025 December 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 December 2022 October 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 May 2021 April 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 December 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 January 2019 December 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

According to Hebrews, Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and when?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Forever Throughout all generations Until the end of the age In all eternity past