Six word autobiographies: Mene mene tekel parsin

Last updated on: November 17, 2015 at 12:03 am by Simcha Fisher

Six word autobiographies: Mene mene tekel parsin 2015-11-17T00:03:41-05:00 Simcha Fisher

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Loosely translated: “Sometimes, / When I look deep in your pants, / I swear I can see your soul.”

Ha ha! Just kidding. But remember that terrible song “Sometimes” by that medium-terrible band, James? James: because what the world needs now is more Irishmen singing. He didn’t actually say “pants,” but it would have been a better song if he had. Hey, and look, it’s a bunch of guys wearing dresses! I suppose this is all my fault, too. Not the bananas, though.

In the past week, there has been a lot of soul-searching. Unfortunately, it’s mostly been people searching each other’s souls and — you’ll never guess! — finding them wanting.

I, of course, am not guilty of this. No, I certainly haven’t spent the last several days wrapped in a semi-hysterical nimbus of self-righteousness. I haven’t been following my husband around and making him reassure me, over and over and over again, that I’m a perfectly good wife most of the time. My prayer life hasn’t consisted mostly of, “Did you hear that guy?!?”

Well, just to show that I can be old-fashioned, too, let’s go back in time and revisit and old game — and do a little soul-searching of our own souls for a change. Not such a scenic route, is it? I think there’s a whole series of books out on it by now, and I remember that Ironic Catholic had a contest at one point. It’s so much fun: Six Word Autobiographies.

Here are the ones I came up with a few years ago:

Last I checked, I deserve less.

Still a bum, just much busier.

I’ve secretly always wanted a dog.

Seven unmedicated births, fine; telephones, terrifying.

Married to Bach, trysting with Brahms.

and my favorite:

Help! Help, help, help! Oh, thanks.

Okay, so what are yours? Your life in six words. Go!

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