Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Sick Pilgrim

Home
Catholic
Songs as Sanctuary: Jonathan Ryan on Matisyahu’s Crossroads

Songs as Sanctuary: Jonathan Ryan on Matisyahu’s Crossroads

Last updated on: September 13, 2017 at 2:17 pm by Jonathan Ryan

Songs as Sanctuary: Jonathan Ryan on Matisyahu’s Crossroads 2017-09-13T14:17:52-05:00 Jonathan Ryan

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Matisyahu

Matisyahu came into my life when I was as a Presbyterian minister at THE Ohio State University. I had just been elected to be the president of the Inter-Faith counsel and through that position, made friends with a woman who was a Jewish rabbi. We attended each other’s student groups and would often discuss various theological viewpoints.

We were talking music one day and she said, “I think you should check out Matisyahu, you’ll dig him.”

I don’t think that she realized that comment would one day save my life.

During my five year descent into darkness and divorce, Matisyahu’s music was the backdrop to my wandering through the valley of the shadow of death. All of my own standbys (U2, etc) didn’t work. But, Matisyahu’s music did. It’s full of his mysterious Jewishness (he often sings in Hebrew), strange wanderings, joy in the midst of severe personal life turmoil and his constant search for G-D and His presence in the world.

He is a true Sick Pilgrim, and its all found in the first cut of the Spark Seeker album, “Crossroads.”

It’s like I’m walking through this kingdom of time
Thus far I’ve done lost my mind
Only to find the other side, Is where the world opens wide
To descend these city streets late at night
I’ve been searching for my bite
They say I inspired, but I’m still looking for my fire
These lies have got me tired
I’m free falling, I’m done stalling…

This is a man who wanders and knows the answers are just beyond his sight and around the next corner. And he knows it while feeling the pressure that often comes when people see one thing about you, but you know the true reality of your own heart, searching for that secret fire, and you know that some of what you do and say is a lie of the moment, and you really don’t feel anything close to faith. You wish everyone would go away so you could re-center and find the spark again. Not for them, but yourself. And, you finally let yourself fall by stripping off the masks you wore your entire life because you’re too tired to do anything else.

Speak to ghosts
Time to go high
The cross that you walk by
Got my eye into
Magic fly off on the broom
Which way to choose I’m at the crossroads, but I’ll give my soul
It’s already old.

Two lines stick out to me when I play this song: “My heart’s black, but it’s still intact” and “Which way to choose, I’m at the crossroads, but I’ll give my soul, it’s already old.”

My soul, is indeed old and it feels as if it’s lived many life times. Yet, when things are dark, I’m always reminded I’ve not ever given my heart over to the darkness. I had a dream, once, of the Sacred Heart of Christ, beating light and blood in the darkness of my own heart. And I’m reminded of it every time I listen to Matisyahu as he cries out in Hazzan prayer at the beginning of the song. It’s a cry to Adonai, THE LORD.

This cry tells you what the song is about: a lost, sick pilgrim, crying out in power, crying out in weakness.

And it echoes my own when I pray, “Help me, Oh Lord, Help me. Fill me with power to live in the Mystery when I don’t understand You or the world.”

The prayer of my entire life, really.

Jonathan Ryan is the cofounder of Sick Pilgrim.

Previous Post

September 13, 2017

Songs as Sanctuary: Eve Alexandra on Depeche Mode's "Blasphemous Rumours"

Next Post

September 13, 2017 Songs as Sanctuary: John Robinson on Project 86

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Advent Approaching Mystery art Book Reviews Catholic Ghost Story Catholicism community Confession Current Events Dark Devotional Deconstruction Deconstruction Fellow Travelers I Want To Believe Interview Laudato Si Lent Mary Matthew's Letters Movie Reviews Music Reviews Our Charism Personal Essay Pilgrims Pope Francis Popular Piety Prayer Publishing Richard Beck Saints Satan Sheed and Ward Sick Pilgrim Charism Sick Pilgrim Chats Sick Pilgrim Events Sick Pilgrim Travelin' Medicine Show Sick Pilgrimage to The West Sick Pilgrims Small Joys Spiritual Autobiography Spooky Files of Ave Maria Magazine Spooky October Spooky Pilgrim Spooky Pilgrimage Strange Journey The Inklings Things Keeping Us Going Trying to Say God TV Reviews Uncategorized women in the Catholic Church Wonder Podcast Write the Vision

Select a Month February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 October 2019 September 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

She is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire compares to her. Her ways are pleasant and all her paths are peace. Who is she?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Wisdom A virtuous woman Understanding Knowledge