Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Sick Pilgrim

Home
Catholic
A Christmas Card to Those Who Go to Church Once A Year, Love Sick Pilgrim

A Christmas Card to Those Who Go to Church Once A Year, Love Sick Pilgrim

Last updated on: December 24, 2016 at 11:03 pm by Matt Lafleur

A Christmas Card to Those Who Go to Church Once A Year, Love Sick Pilgrim 2016-12-24T23:03:24-05:00 Matt Lafleur

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Every year, my local church divides each Mass on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day into two separate services, going on at the same time. One is held in the lavishly decorated church building, celebrated by the normal parish priest – like any other Mass. The other is held in the reception hall next to the church building, in a large conference room that normally houses banquets and parish picnics, complete with a retired priest celebrant and a temporary altar on wheels.

Guess which one I go to every year.

As I sat in the back of the reception hall before Mass began last year (or maybe a year or two before – traditions don’t change much in my little town), amid the whiny screeches of people dragging and settling into metal fold-out chairs and children mumbling/laughing/crying, I thought how irritating it was that a huge herd of people only came to church this one time a year, and made it necessary for our normal service to be divided in two.

Why must we kill the fatted calf for them?

As the Mass began, and the retired priest and altar servers and lectionaries paraded up the shoddily formed center aisle, I found the same familiarity I encountered week-after-week, no matter at which Mass, at which location, in whatever language. Is this reverence? Feels too lazy for that. Maybe just comforting. Is this feeling rare for the once-a-year church-goers? Does it even matter?

Mostly, whenever a Christian source mentions these annual church-goers, it is to degrade them. The lack of faith and simple adherence to cultural norms shown by the once-a-year crowd places a giant target on each of their backs for those comfortably settled in their faith routine.

Well, screw that.

If faith is only acted upon because it’s comfortable, we are doing it wrong.

When people who find the Catholic faith (or Christianity in general) ridiculous, it’s easy to avoid going to church. But if they go on Christmas because it makes Maw-Maw happy, they willingly become the least comfortable people in the room. But they are there. And that matters.

When I go to church every week because it’s convenient, that is in no way bad, but it is less heroic. If we do the right thing because it is convenient, is it the same as struggling to do the right thing? Catholic author Anthony Burgess explores this in A Clockwork Orange.

“Is it better for a man to have chosen evil than to have good imposed upon him?”

The Christmas Mass continued in its routine elegance. When the priest rose to give his homily – the unscripted portion of the Mass – his talk wasn’t what I expected. From the cheap microphone, in the conference hall with poor acoustics, the priest’s message was on the benevolence and mercy of our loving God. Not on the dangers of sin, nor even on the traditional element of the original Christmas. Not even a tongue-in-cheek joke about how he wished the church was this full every week. Just on the perfect love that God is. And that idea stayed with me after the homily was over.

Hopefully, it also stayed with those who only went to that Mass to please someone else. I hope what they remember from going to church that day is profound love, not an aftertaste of condemnation. Maybe these people would be more likely to return to church if they left with something other than a traditional dose of Catholic guilt?

As this syrupy thought settled in my head, the liturgy of the Eucharist, the higher of the two halves of Mass, began.

And I realized that beyond the logistics of physically getting to church week-after-week, the struggle of believing at all is real, at least it is to me. Even at Christmastime.

Sometimes I don’t get the miracle I pray for. Sometimes I keep hurting when I beg God for relief. Sometimes the church feels hollow and I feel foolish. Often, even.

What the hell am I even here for?

The sounds of people clumsily rising from their chairs to form two haphazard lines to the front of the room wake me from that reverie. But not really. Here, at the climax of Mass, we queue up to receive a bland wafer that we eat, which we are told becomes the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of our timeless and unrecognizable God, who came in the form of a human some 2,000+ years ago, and broke bread with his followers the night before he was executed, telling them that the bread was now his body and ordering them to repeat that act in remembrance of him until he comes again.

Despite what holier Christians than me would say, that isn’t easy to believe. Faith is hard most times.

So I feel more at home among those who go to church to please someone else, than among the crowd who never imagine missing a week.

The question, then, is why go? Why do I hold onto belief?

The best answer, for me, is the same question Peter asked: where else would I go?

Life doesn’t automatically get better for those in church, despite what Pop Christianity says. Sometimes life is awesome; sometimes it sucks. Faith doesn’t change that.

But where else would I go?

The Christmas Mass ended and people hurried from the reception hall to the crowded parking lot, hoping to escape the inevitable traffic jam. In spite of doubts, maybe because of them, I knew I’d be back next week.

***

This Christmas, I hope you have peace. Even in the midst of your struggling and even when the walls come crashing down around you, I hope that you feel loved.

Even if–especially if–you only go to church once a year.

Not a typical Christmas post. Not a typical Christian blog.

Merry Christmas, pilgrims.

Previous Post

December 22, 2016

Dark Devotional: It's Christmas, Let's Get Drunk!

Next Post

December 28, 2016 The Dark Side of Christmas: The Murder of Innocents

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Advent Approaching Mystery art Book Reviews Catholic Ghost Story Catholicism community Confession Current Events Dark Devotional Deconstruction Deconstruction Fellow Travelers I Want To Believe Interview Laudato Si Lent Mary Matthew's Letters Movie Reviews Music Reviews Our Charism Personal Essay Pilgrims Pope Francis Popular Piety Prayer Publishing Richard Beck Saints Satan Sheed and Ward Sick Pilgrim Charism Sick Pilgrim Chats Sick Pilgrim Events Sick Pilgrim Travelin' Medicine Show Sick Pilgrimage to The West Sick Pilgrims Small Joys Spiritual Autobiography Spooky Files of Ave Maria Magazine Spooky October Spooky Pilgrim Spooky Pilgrimage Strange Journey The Inklings Things Keeping Us Going Trying to Say God TV Reviews Uncategorized women in the Catholic Church Wonder Podcast Write the Vision

Select a Month February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 October 2019 September 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What was Jesus’ first recorded miracle in Mark?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Turning water into wine Healing a leper Raising a widow’s son Casting out an unclean spirit