Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Sick Pilgrim

Home
Catholic
Advent: Kicking your Darkness

Advent: Kicking your Darkness

Last updated on: November 28, 2016 at 11:19 am by Jonathan Ryan

Advent: Kicking your Darkness 2016-11-28T11:19:25-05:00 Jonathan Ryan

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Photo Credit: Jonathan Ryan

Since I first heard the song in college, I’ve meditated on a lyric by Canadian folk musician Bruce Cockburn. It’s a phrase that I’ve considered tattooing over my heart. In the song “Lovers in a Dangerous Time*,”* he sings that you’ve got to “kick the darkness until it bleeds daylight.”

Advent is a time where we talk about the light shining in the darkness and the darkness not understanding it. But there have been times in my life when I’ve felt nothing but darkness. And I’ve understood it much better than the light trying to shine into my heart.

My first Advent/Christmas season in South Bend as a divorced dad living away from my kids was one of those times. I didn’t break out the candles. My Christmas decorations and creche lay in a box. There didn’t seem to be any Christmas in me.

A friend kept badgering me to put up a tree, but I ignored her. Finally, one night, staring at that shitty grey carpet of my apartment, I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran out to Lowe’s, the only place that had trees that late in the season. I put on the Sufjan Stevens Christmas album and decorated my little Charlie Brown tree with my nerdy ornaments of Indiana Jones, Chewbacca, and my favorite, a much ridiculed Snoopy with his tongue sticking out and one antler jutting out of his head.

Turning off the rest of the lights, I sat on the couch to stare at my tree. The red, green and blue lights glimmered and flickered in the dark. I kicked my personal darkness until it bled Christmas light.

That’s the real challenge of Advent in our lives, especially for those of us who are sick unto death, either spiritually, emotionally or physically. Darkness surrounds us. For some of us, it’s the darkness of sickness, a bad marriage or severe problems with our children. Or, many of us feel the darkness that has descended on our country in this election cycle. It’s not so much that Donald Trump, an absurd reality star who has appeared in Playboy and on Howard Stern, will represent our country. No, it’s that this election cut open the American heart to expose its wormy, Lovecraftian middle, ruled by one guiding emotion: fear of the dark.

We’ve seen that fear of the dark causes us to embrace the darkness in us. But those of us who claim to follow Christ are called to fight that darkness. Very often, we don’t know how, so we keep striking out in random ways without thinking deeply about where we can best help. We overextend ourselves trying to be involved in as many causes as we can until our help becomes useless.

A protestant pastor once told me that recognizing what you’re not good at is just as important as finding out what you ARE good at doing. When we start kicking the dark, it’s important to figure out where our kick will do the most good. For me, I’ve realized that I’m good an coming up with ideas, writing and teaching. That’s pretty much it. This excludes me from running for office, being a scientist or building beautiful things. But I can kick the darkness through words, speaking and writing them. Sick Pilgrim is my vocation in every true sense of the word. It’s how I do my part to kick the dark so it bleeds light.

A few years ago, I was introduced to the work of Cormac McCarthy through his heart wrenching dystopian novel, The Road. It’s a story of a father and son making their way across an America that is no longer recognizable. The father keeps telling the son that they carry the fire, because they are the good guys. In the story, this means they won’t shoot people on sight, eat dead people or rob. But, it takes on a deeper meaning as the story unfolds: the fire is humanity, the Image of God, and, I don’t think it’s too much to say, the secret fire of the Holy Spirit.

In one scene, the father tells the son to “keep a little fire burning; however small, however hidden.” My prayer for all of us is that we figure out how to use our little fires, burning the dark, making it bleed light.

Previous Post

November 25, 2016

The Broken Body of Christ at the Border

Next Post

November 28, 2016 Looking for the Feast

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Advent Approaching Mystery art Book Reviews Catholic Ghost Story Catholicism community Confession Current Events Dark Devotional Deconstruction Deconstruction Fellow Travelers I Want To Believe Interview Laudato Si Lent Mary Matthew's Letters Movie Reviews Music Reviews Our Charism Personal Essay Pilgrims Pope Francis Popular Piety Prayer Publishing Richard Beck Saints Satan Sheed and Ward Sick Pilgrim Charism Sick Pilgrim Chats Sick Pilgrim Events Sick Pilgrim Travelin' Medicine Show Sick Pilgrimage to The West Sick Pilgrims Small Joys Spiritual Autobiography Spooky Files of Ave Maria Magazine Spooky October Spooky Pilgrim Spooky Pilgrimage Strange Journey The Inklings Things Keeping Us Going Trying to Say God TV Reviews Uncategorized women in the Catholic Church Wonder Podcast Write the Vision

Select a Month February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 October 2019 September 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

How many books are in the New Testament?

Select your answer to see how you score.

21 30 13 27