Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Shrinking the Camel

Home
Careers, Workplace and Religion
Hey, All You Forty-Something Parents! WE STILL ROCK! (Part 2)

Hey, All You Forty-Something Parents! WE STILL ROCK! (Part 2)

Last updated on: September 23, 2015 at 1:18 pm by JBW

Hey, All You Forty-Something Parents! WE STILL ROCK! (Part 2) 2015-09-23T13:18:13-05:00 JBW

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Sophie was running ahead of me, talking to her friend on the cell phone, trying to decide where to meet. We eventually found her friends over at the sunscreen-sponsor tent. After the initial greetings, my daughter immediately banned me from their presence. I’m used to this by now. But I still put up a little fight.

“Well how am I going to know where you are? There are like twenty thousand people here. What am I gonna do all alone?”

“Da-ad! You are NOT sitting with us! Alexa’s dad came too, and he just went somewhere and found a place to sit. Why can’t you be like him?” Alexa conspires with a smug grin.

“I just want to see where you sit.” I said

“Dad, go away. I’ll call you when the concert’s over and we’ll meet somewhere.”

This went on for a while. I eventually pretended to leave, but then went all stealth and followed her and her friends for a while. Modest Mouse was playing their noisy set in the background. Soon enough they made their way to a blanketed spot on the lawn, and I finally relaxed a bit. No beer, no pot. No drunken boys that I had never met before.

Now what? I looked around at the concert scene unfolding around me and took stock of my situation. I didn’t like it. I’m just not up for this anymore: the smell of cigarettes and pot, the crowds, the scrappy-looking new-age hippies who think they know everything, the noisy loud music, the throngs of young people without a care in the world other than spending $35 to hear the bands they love. And then I remembered something else: isn’t the lead singer of REM, Michael Stipe, a militant vegetarian with a big political mouth? I hate that. If I come to a concert, I certainly don’t want to be politically preached at. Especially not by a militant vegetarian.

This old familiar feeling crept up and quietly gripped me: I am a total outsider. I don’t fit in and everyone can see it. My mind went all paranoid. I imagined all these young kids looking at me, and laughing.

“Hey dude, look at the corporate tool who’s trying to re-live the college glory days!”

“Yaw, dude! Bill Gates called and wants his Khaki’s back!”

Go ahead, dudes, laugh all you want. I could kick your ass in a Boardroom. All day long. And I’m not wearing Khakis. I am wearing cargo shorts that I bought at Kohls, and a very comfortable golf shirt. And I’m carrying a backpack filled with items that I thought we would need for our father-daughter experience in the park: two ponchos in case it rains, bottled water, a blanket to sit on. Just the basics.

“What a dork!” I thought to myself. I am totally the corporate tool.

I distracted myself by considering how the salutation “dude!” ever became so popular. It seems as if among younger people, everyone calls everyone else “Dude!” Old, young, male, female, friend, foe, all are appropriately referred to as “Dude!”

“What about pets?” I asked my thirteen-year-old daughter and her group of friends one afternoon. “Can animals be called ‘dude’? Is that allowed?”

They shrug, looking at each other desperately for help in interpreting this bizarre question coming from an adult. I’ve stumped them.

“Like,” I continued, “What if your dog is bugging you for food, and, like, you say ‘Dude! Hold on! I’ll get your food later!’ Do kids say that? To animals?”

The girls look at each other in disbelief, horrified that I am even having this conversation with them.

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” Says Zoe, backing up slowly, nonchalantly, avoiding eye contact.

The group of seventh-grade girls briskly make their way out of the kitchen, up to Lily’s bedroom, to the familiarity of their cell phones and computers and uniform black eye makeup and straight-ironed hair.

I fumbled through the crowds with my backpack, hop-scotching over little segments of people on lawn chairs and blankets. Skipping and jumping between all the happy couples and random groupings of youthful friendsters, I found a tiny square of lawn where I could park my middle-aged ass and pretend to enjoy the concert, alone. I sat down and scrounged enough space to lie back with my head on the backpack. I’ll close my eyes and think quiet thoughts, that’s what I’ll do. I shut my eyes. The lawn was already damp. The dank smell of beer was everywhere in the air. I listened to the idle chatter and laughter of the twenty-somethings surrounding me. Damn these kids who are so optimistic and upbeat all the time. I bet half of them are still living at home.

Image by Pixabay

Previous Post

September 21, 2015

Hey, All You Forty-Something Parents! WE STILL ROCK! (Part 1)

Next Post

September 25, 2015 Hey, All You Forty-Something Parents! WE STILL ROCK! (Part 3)

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Ambition Blogging Career Culture Executive Career Development Failure Faith in the Workplace Family Feeling Stupid Leadership Managing People Purpose Reviews Spirituality Uncategorized Work-Life Balance

Select a Month November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which Christian hymn is often called the most popular in history and was written by John Newton?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Silent Night How Great Thou Art Amazing Grace Onward Christian Soldiers