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Lingerie Lessons to Try Right Now. . .

Lingerie Lessons to Try Right Now. . .

Last updated on: December 20, 2019 at 12:52 pm by Sheila Qualls

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Lingerie Lessons to Try Right Now. . . 2019-12-20T12:52:59-06:00 Sheila Qualls

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how to resolve conflict in marriage What do a black lace teddy and conflict have in common? If you’re in either of them too long, they can creep into places they were never designed to go. And, when they do, uh. . . you’ve got more trouble than a little discomfort.

Let me explain. I’ve had the unpleasant experience of wearing a teddy for eight hours. I was a 22 year-old newlywed. I laughed in the face of gravity, and airport security was nothing like it is today. After an extended business trip, I wanted to surprise my husband so I flew home from Indianapolis, Indiana, to Lawton, Oklahoma –829 miles–wearing nothing but a black teddy and an overcoat.

What I intended for good didn’t turn out so good. Winter storms and weather delays turned a 2-hour trek into an eight-hour teddy induced wedgie-wearing nightmare. My booty was on fire.

I’d checked my bags so I didn’t have the option to change into something else. The situation had turned hazardous. Same thing happens when we let conflicts linger too long in our marriages or try to resolve them in unhealthy ways. What would happen if we treated conflict in our marriages like we treat lingerie?

1. We’d look for ways to get out of it quickly.

2. We’d handle it with care.

Lingerie isn’t designed for comfort. You’re not supposed to be in it long. Same goes for disagreements with your spouse. We shouldn’t avoid them, but we shouldn’t stay in them long either.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit those were the most uncomfortable eight hours of my life. Sometimes . . . being uncomfortable for a little while pays off big in the long-run.

Maybe you’ve never flown cross-country with a giant crack-burning wedgie (and I wouldn’t advise it), but you’ve probably been in other uncomfortable situations. Maybe you fight with your husband over and over about the same thing. Maybe your disagreements last longer than they should. Maybe you have ongoing disputes with your mother-in-law or a neighbor or a co-worker.

No one likes the discomfort of disagreements, but they happen. There’s no benefit to either avoiding disagreements or lingering in them.

Marriages don’t break-up overnight. When trouble shows up in paradise, deal with it. Don’t make the mistake of allowing disagreements to edge out unity in your marriage.

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m no pro at conflict resolution. Sometimes I let things go on longer than I should.

Traveling eight hours in a teddy in mid-winter was miserable. The plane was sweltering. I couldn’t take off my coat. The lining stuck to me like Saran wrap. And, I resisted urges to scratch inappropriate places all the way home.

The discomfort of dealing with conflict is worth it. When it comes to conflict–like wearing lingerie–get out of it quickly and preserve the harmony of your relationship.

After eight hours of teddy torture, I figured I could rock granny panties for the rest of our marriage. I’d earned it.

How do you deal with conflict in your relationships?

Need skills to build intimacy?

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Also known as the Not So Excellent Wife, Sheila Qualls understands how tiring a tough marriage can be.

She went from the brink of divorce to having a thriving marriage by translating timeless truths into practical skills. She’s helped women just like you turn their men into the husbands they want.

After 33 years of marriage, she’s a coach and a speaker whose passion is to equip women to break relationship-stifling habits and do marriage God’s way. And you don’t have to be a doormat to do it.

She and her husband Kendall live in Minnesota with their five children and their Black Lab, Largo.

In addition to coaching, Sheila is a member of the MOPS Speaker Network. Her work has been featured on the MOPS Blog, The Upper Room, Grown and Flown, Scary Mommy, Beliefnet, Candidly Christian, Crosswalk.com, The Mighty and on various other sites on the Internet.

dealing with emotional pain