Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Shalom in the City

Home
Progressive Christian
Friendship Project Day 14: Fanny Packs, Scary Yeses, and Starting Over

Friendship Project Day 14: Fanny Packs, Scary Yeses, and Starting Over

Last updated on: October 24, 2015 at 9:30 pm by Osheta Moore

Friendship Project Day 14: Fanny Packs, Scary Yeses, and Starting Over 2015-10-24T21:30:50-08:00 Osheta Moore

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

A friend of mine commented the other day, “I love your Friendship Project. I remember when you felt the same way after you moved to Boston.” Which got me thinking, ‘Yeah, I’ve been here before. I don’t know why I’m stressing out about making new friends…I managed to build life-giving and beautiful friendships in Boston, I can do the same in LA.’ Then I remembered a post I wrote four years ago when I started my blog about friendships and women and the when God asks you do something scary. It’s oddly appropriate for this season, since I’m making new friendship, with women, and at Allume, God asked me to do something scarier than starting a women’s ministry at a new church. Enjoy today’s post from the “Shalom in the City” archives.

I was crying when it happened. Laying prostrate on the floor in my living room, letting the tears soak my hair and the dust bunnies I missed under the couch, I wept for the first time since we evacuated New Orleans. Oh sure, I’ve cried many times in the two years since we moved to Cambridge. Cue the violins, send in the dog, make the toddler say something cute and I’m a mess with a Kleenex. I’m just that sensitive. But, this was the first time I’ve sobbed from a deep, broken, confused place because I was lonely and I felt it. My best friend who I prayed for for years moved from a short five minute drive to forty-five seemingly endless minutes away. The women at my church were spread out geographically and in life stage and I just couldn’t find my niche. My seminarian husband was lost to me. Boyd, Pinnock, Bonhoeffer, Paul and Jesus commanded his attention. My children, ages 5, 2, and 1 weren’t any help. Unless you consider their demands for justice and juice as great conversation- which I did not. No, I was lonely in a cold city, with no family, and I blamed God for it.

“Why did you give me a friend only to take her away? ” I moaned in between sobs.
“Why did you move us here” I complained.
“I’m just so lonely” I whispered.

Then the room went still. The gears in my head began to creak back to life. Soon they were whirring as sparks of inspiration flew. I had an idea to cure my loneliness! More accurately, God gave me an idea. I know it was Him because the idea was too bold, too crazy to be all mine and the voices in my head aren’t that creative. I began to see candles, decorations, and chairs arranged in a circle. I heard soft music– probably Christy Nockels–, women laughing, and my voice encouraging them from the Bible. The interesting scent combinations of Lady Just From the Gym, with a floral Bath and Body Works number, combined with the top note of Thierry Mugler’s popular perfume, Angel all played under my nose. I saw women gathering, eating ice cream (or chocolate– you know, they are interchangeable), while building deeper friendships and feeling loved. In my messy living-room, on a cold spring day, I saw a women’s ministry and more importantly I saw women just like me finding a safe place to be herself. I said yes to becoming a women’s ministry leader.

In my days as a women’s ministry newbie I scoured the internet for secrets and tips to successfully gather women. Sweets? Check! Laughter? Check! Relevant topics or Chick Flicks? Check! Fun games and icebreakers?

Wha-Huh?!?!?

The first time I read the word “ice breaker” my mind filled with images. Dark, scary images. I saw women in coo-lot pants with fanny packs in various hot colors. Hot pink, hot green, hot green and purple stripes… you get the picture. These sweet, but clueless women were headed up by me rocking a super stylish multi-colored fanny pack of hot pink and turquoise (that’s right- be jealous). I’m lined up with the women in a gauntlet with our arms out front. On the stage, stands a poor lone soul with her back to us. This dear girl, let’s call her Lucy, pulls her trembling arms up across her chest. She clears her throat and tentatively calls out, ” Sisters, I’m ready to trust you.”

Then we all say in a creepy monotone, “Trust in Lord, Sister,”

ominous pause

“and also in us.”

I shook my head of the disturbing vision, not waiting to see Lucy’s fate with the fanny pack brigade.

I had to get two women’s events (none of which involved a trust fall) under my belt before my prejudices against ice breaker were disarmed. I realized that ice breakers are more than gouda cheesy games and antics. They are vehicles to move the lonely woman into a loving community.

I had a similar misgiving about blogs and bloggers until my husband began having meaningful dialog and building affirming friendships with his followers. A beautiful community followed to his blog to talk about life and share perspectives. A blog became a vehicle to gather people and gathering people…is what I do.

So, welcome to my blog! Please comment below to let me know you’re here. You are a vital part of this community-heck-you are this community!

No longer afraid of icebreakers, but deathly afraid of fanny packs,

Previous Post

October 23, 2015

Friendship Project Day 13: Letting the Black Girls In

Next Post

November 16, 2015 SheLoves and Red beans

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Anabaptist As a Jesus-Girl As a Mommy As a Third Way Woman Blog Composting Fair-Trade Fashion Faith Family Fearless Fridays In the Church in the Community in the Home Justice Marriage Ministry Peacemaking podcast Race Shalom Session Slider The City The Suburbs Uncategorized Watching What's Happening In The World What I'm Into

Select a Month March 2018 October 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 January 2017 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 May 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

How many books are in the New Testament?

Select your answer to see how you score.

13 27 21 30