What happened at church with Samuel: a cautionary tale

Last updated on: December 6, 2016 at 10:12 am by Sean Lowe

What happened at church with Samuel: a cautionary tale 2016-12-06T10:12:53-04:00 Sean Lowe

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I HAVE A BABY?!

About this time, Catherine and my mom sprung into action and rushed Samuel to the ladies room to clean up this huge mess. It’s also about this time that we realized we made the fatal parenting mistake of not bringing any back up clothes with us. According to Catherine’s first hand account of what took place next, they quickly stripped the soiled clothes off Samuel leaving a naked baby standing on the bathroom counter. It was at that moment Samuel, who is covered in his own poop, decides to spit up all over himself and the bathroom counter. So now we have a baby covered in poop and spit up in the church bathroom. But wait, there’s more! As Catherine and my mom are trying their best to clean this baby in the bathroom as other women are trying to wash their hands, Samuel has one more final act in store- he pees all over the place. As Catherine described it, they were trying so hard to hold him and clean the spit up and poop off of him and then he began to slip in his own pee.

About fifteen minutes later, as I’m standing outside of the bathroom, Catherine emerges laughing while holding a baby in a diaper. I was worried the whole ordeal would have flustered her a bit but it was so ridiculous, she couldn’t help but laugh at it all. Feeling like irresponsible parents, we took Samuel to the church’s nursery where they put a fresh onesie on him and assured us we weren’t the first parents to experience a blowout at church.

It was one of those mornings I don’t think I’ll ever we’ll ever forget. It was almost a baptism into parenthood for us (baptism by poop). We also made it in time to here Kensington sing the sweetest little “Happy Birthday Jesus” song I’ve ever heard.

So there you go, that’s my messy parenting story for you all.

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