Confession: The Bachelor Didn’t “Cure” Me of Singleness

Last updated on: September 15, 2014 at 1:48 pm by Sean Lowe

Confession: The Bachelor Didn’t “Cure” Me of Singleness 2014-09-15T13:48:12-04:00 Sean Lowe

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When I went on The Bachelorette and The Bachelor, I was basically looking for adventure and fun. I never expected that I’d actually fall for anyone. I, of course, met Catherine, and now I truly have a best friend with whom to face life.

But, there is a common misperception out there about singleness.

When I was single, I wasn’t out there wondering when I could marry. I didn’t feel incomplete. I didn’t want people asking me about it all the time. I didn’t go onto The Bachelor to be cured of some terrible disease called “singleness.”

That’s why an article about living the single life caught my attention:

Each single person will have a different experience. There are age differences. Being single at 20 is very different from being single at 30, 40, or 70. There are circumstantial differences: some have never married, while others are divorcees, widows, or widowers. And there are experiential differences: some have chosen to be single and are basically content; others long to be married and feel frustrated.

What does the Bible say to all these people?

Singleness is a gift from God.

So much in our society is structured around couples. It’s often just assumed that adults will have a partner and that there’s something rather odd about them if they don’t for any period of time. Oscar Wilde summed up the view of many: “Celibacy is the only known sexual perversion.”

If you saw any of the coverage of my decision to wait until marriage to have sex, you know just how true Wilde’s observation is. Anyway, the article goes on to explain that singleness is a gift even if you don’t want that particular gift:

But what if I don’t think I have the “gift” of singleness? I don’t find it easy being on my own, and I long to marry; does that mean I’m experiencing “second best”? No. When Paul speaks of singleness as a gift, he isn’t speaking of a particular ability some people have to be contentedly single. Rather, he’s speaking of the state of being single. As long as you have it, it’s a gift from God, just as marriage will be God’s gift if you ever receive it. We should receive our situation in life, whether it is singleness or marriage, as a gift of God’s grace to us.

So what do you do if you are single and you’re waiting on finding the right person to marry? Here are three pieces of advice from Vaughan Roberts:

Thank God for the gift of singleness. Whatever your experience of singleness, recognize it as a gift from God and make the most of it for as long as you have it.
Do all you can to be godly. It’s easy for those who are single to lapse into a selfish, self-centred lifestyle and into sexual sin, whether in thought or deed. Be self-disciplined and accountable to others.
Keep your eyes fixed on heaven. It is our eternal relationship with Christ that ultimately matters.

Hum… The Vaughan did not state the most obvious thing to do to help during those single days: join the cast of a reality tv show. Must’ve been an oversight.

Anyway, I just wanted to reach out to my single friends and give them this word of encouragement. Read the whole article here, and know that you are not second best.

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