When You Can’t Ease Their Pain: Finding Christ in Trials

Last updated on: November 10, 2026 at 10:49 pm by Abby Christianson

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When You Can’t Ease Their Pain: Finding Christ in Trials 2026-11-10T22:49:38-06:00 Abby Christianson

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I’m writing this article from my phone as I sit in the parents lounge on my son’s hospital floor at Primary Children’s Hospital. I keep kicking myself for not bringing my laptop, but when the inspiration strikes you gotta write.

As my kiddo grew, his back didn’t stay straight. The inside of the vertebre on part of his spine grew slower than the outside, causing it to curve. He had a very impressive 85 degree curve in his spine by the time his growth plates closed. So this week we did a major overhaul of his spine. They rebuilt 6 vertebra and fused 12- basically his entire thoracic or middle spine.

I learned most of our spine’s movement comes from the lower spine. So despite the large amount of metal in his back, he won’t lose more than 20% movement. And unlike spinal fusions that are for older folks correcting arthritis, he won’t have to get further fusions down the road. So this surgery is a one and done for him.

Hard Things

Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay

I keep reminding myself that this is good news- all of it. And he really needed this surgery. He looked forward to it even. But seeing how much pain he is in right now, and that 30 inch long incision down his back, is so hard on my heart.

However, I’m trying to remind myself that these hard things are necessary. And I can’t step in and save my son from even the worst parts. Just like you can’t help a baby chick hatch without causing irreparable harm, I have to let him endure this himself. Because challenges help us grow. And once he heals he will have a beautiful, straight back again.

The strength he gains from these experiences will bless him in the future. But I’ve also given myself permission to struggle with it. So when Physical Therapists come in to make him get up and walk around, and he turns white with pain doing so, I take a walk. They are professionals and have to do this with him. But I can’t watch. It’s too hard. So I step away.

Finding Strength

In the smallest way I feel I’ve gained some understanding of why God the Father chose to turn away as the Savior suffered on the cross. Jesus had to experience those heinous trials to save all mankind. And He had to do it alone. But it was beyond all human abilities, and dreadful, excruciating work. And one of the greatest pains of sin is the distance it creates between us and God. So God had to let the Savior do the last part on His own.

After the atonement was completed Jesus knew exactly how to succor and support each of us in our own journeys. But if God had stepped in and lifted some of the burden, Christ couldn’t have grown into the Advocate we needed him to be. He couldn’t have succored us like we needed to be without the atonement.

Succor

Incidentally I learned what Succor means lately. It’s not what I thought. I thought it was similar to caring for an invalid. That you attended to them and made sure their needs were met. It is that, but it’s more. It’s rushing to the rescue with intensity and focus. So when the scripture tells us Jesus will succor us, it means that He is rushing to the rescue with intensity and purpose. That is moving to me.

When my son was in intense pain I rushed to his rescue. And as we support my son in his healing I know the Savior is rushing to our rescue and to his. He is also rushing to your rescue as you fight your battles. There is intense comfort knowing the King of the Universe knows exactly what I’m going through.

May you find peace in your trials knowing Jesus Christ knows yours too. We can do this. Because we are not alone.

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